Login

**Lime** · 03-12-2020, 07:48 PM

You may not have seen my previous post, but even if you had, very few of you could have made it to the 27th pick with enough brain cells intact to read this thread.
I mentioned a name nobody has heard in a long time, and few have even heard at all. I am of course talking about one Zeep Zorp.

Zorp left literally no impression on anyone in the days leading up to the S52 SMJHL Draft. Rumor has it he never said a word to anyone. Not one. He flew completely under the radar and went undrafted, even Anaheim and Newfoundland throwing a pick at anything with a pulse. The man didn't even start an update thread.
In awe at the balls on this lad. He expected to get drafted without even updating. He didn't but like, what if?

Anywho he made one post on the forums and hasn't been seen since then. Hasn't been drafted. Never touched a puck. No media, no job, and no chance... right?

Wrong.

Here is why Zeeperoni Zorpland will 100% be drafted in the upcoming S52 SHL Draft and why he is the best undrafted prospect right now, and possible the best undrafted prospect ever. He will go to whatever team figures this out first.

1. Zorp is still using STHS. By using a STHS build in FHM, Zorp will scare and confuse opposing teams. Dude has 55 Strength. The FHM limit is 20. Guy probably looks like fucking He-Man and can likely yeet players over the glass with ease. 60 Passing? Dude can probably get both assists on his own goal.

2. Zorp is clearly an alien. His name is Zeep Zorp how much more extra terrestrial can you get? He probably has cool powers and shit that let him move the puck with his mind or shoot lasers at the skates of someone coming after him.

3. Zorp cannot have coronavirus. Since nobody has seen or heard from him since he joined, surely nobody could have given him the virus?

4. Defensemen are in high demand right now. Zorp is rocking 70 defense which means theoretically he should be kinda good at that.

5. Zorp is likely high on Toronto's radar. The North Stars need to rebuild pretty much everything but goalie, and Zorp will be looked at heavily to fill this position. Due to his inactive status, its likely that Toronto will have all the time in the world to draft him.

6. Zorp listed nobody as his recruiter. This means Zorp found the SHL all on his own and demonstrates an incredible ability to pull himself up by the bootstraps and get to work

7. Zorp sounds kinda like Zomp who is Ethan Price and Ethan Price is actually active so GMs might possibly mix up the two and end up with Zorp.

8. Zorp has 155 TPE. He was involved in the SHL for 15 minutes and 54 seconds according to the website. That means Zorp has a TPE per day of 14,362. This is far higher than any other player could ever hope to achieve, and incredibly game breaking.

9. Zorp is perfectly balanced. 1 post, 1 thread, and 1 rep.
[Image: 37N9Sdm.png]

10. Zeep Zorp is very political. His/her username is HOinWater, which we all know means HO in Hot Water, which means he's very much against this current SHL Head Office. We'd have to talk to him to understand what his primary concerns are, but it looks like he is very vocal about his disdain for the administration. This means he is likely very invested in the management side of the SHL and could make a good HO candidate in the future.

I reached out to a representative from the SHL HO for comment.

[Image: lUQTjQd.png]

Could we see more of this feud in the future? Only Zorp can tell us.

11. Zorp has never been fined. Anaheim has been fined. Zorp > Anaheim

Thank you for reading.

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us