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budweiser · 08-16-2020, 10:33 PM

After the recent family interview with Bud Weiser’s family, Bud’s agent (John McGurk) reached out to Archy Schalfley in order to discuss the interview and recent developments in Bud’s life. With Agent McGurk being a new agent in the sport’s world, he had no clue what he should expect and how tight he needed to keep the reigns on his only client. McGurk should have known the trouble he was getting into with Bud, as all other agents had declined to even consider Bud as a client due to his outlandish an delinquent behaviors. Agent McGurk informed the St. Louis Sports News that they should expect a new Bud Weiser starting next week. Agent McGurk stated that Bud is currently undergoing addiction treatment for both sex and alcohol through sex and alcohol anonymous classes. Agent Mcgurk expects this should allow Bud to focus on his real potential and excel in performance at the end of the year and star during the playoffs, which should help him move up the mock drafts. Agent McGurk did state, that he talked to Bud right after the games yesterday to confirm the new actions, which includes no going to bar’s, a 10pm curfew every night, attendance at all sex and alcohol anonymous classes, and a video doorbells at all home entrances to ensure there are no unwanted guests. Additionally, Agent McGurk stated from after the games on Saturday until 12:01am on August 17, 2020, Bud has one last final hurrah with free reign. When asked about any potential health or conduct concerns, Agent Mcgurk stated “It is not like it can get worse than before. I am just hoping he gets it out of his system and has no arrest. I know his brothers and the boys are excited for tonight as Molly’s is having a special event they are advertising.”

As part of the story, we spoke to the Crow’s GM, Bud’s teammates, and Bud himself. The Crow’s GM would not confirm anything and indicated I was an idiot for asking as it is supposed to be anonymous. Many of Bud’s teammates would not comment directly on Bud’s personal situation; however, many indicated they were hoping for more scores/notches in the next day and a half than than the twenty three goals league leading scorer Mats Marner has. We were able to reach Bud; however, he was in the middle of adding another notch to his record and was too incoherent to understand or speak to us.

The big question remains whether a sober and abstinent Bud Weiser can function and excel or if it is too big of a life change and will have negative performance impacts or he will event back to his party-boy ways.

**_Blitz_** · 08-17-2020, 12:02 AM

I believe in you, Bud.

rum_ham · 08-17-2020, 12:09 AM

More like Stud Weiser, am I right?
Scarecrows

budweiser · 08-18-2020, 06:11 PM

His second favorite beer is Stag, so Stag Weiser would be more appropriate. Respect the Golden Deer!

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