Well, well, well if it isn't success finally coming to I, Luffy Richard, after finally putting in hard work for once. That is right, Hockey League of the Simulated Variety, I, Luffy Richard, have been selected to represent my country--the United States of America--in the upcoming tournament of Free Folk, or some such name. I wasn't sure. I got excited and left that key-clacking nerd in the dust as I ran around town telling all of my adoring fans that they better get American flags tattooed on their butts with my number on it. This has been a long road to this moment. I wasn't selected in my early years, because I had some set-backs of the "not understanding how being a simulated individual in a simulated community" variety, but look at me now! I am a moderately functioning fictional character whose exploits are being typed up by an inane worry-wart who has trouble figuring out forums. Like, geez kid, you grew up with the internet, how hard was it to ask questions so I could be the most awesome Luffy to ever Luffy in this league (I see you Monkey D. I will become the number one Luffy). Seriously, the guy typing this is, along with the Simulation, are the only thing holding me back. But no more! I have wormed my way into his neurotic head so that he is forced, compelled, and obsessive in his checking of this site. He may not be good at numbers, statistics, or understanding the intricacies of management, but man can he pick at a scab. And I am that scab.

And now I am a winger for the gold medal defending Yankees. How beautiful is that?

What glowing reviews I received from those who chose me to be on the team such as, "he is at least active," "he doesn't suck so much anymore," "his spelling isn't too egregious," and my favorite "he has a solid all-around game." 

Honestly, it's like my mom wrote those reviews. I am over the moon right now. I want that hardware so bad. I need accolades because I suffer from imposter syndrome and I need validation for my life choices. That nerd might have his diploma from that scrub reporting school he's hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt for attending nailed to the wall, but let's see how cool it is when I hang my gold medal, almost spelled that metal, ha what a lark that would have been.

This post is for all of you doubters out there, which isn't many (honestly you guys are great, accepting, and encouraging) that I will not be held back my real world intrusions, algorithmic hiccups, or the attacks by the Simulation who knows that I have uncovered the meta-dimension it is hiding behind like that weird dude in wizard of oz that was hiding behind the curtain. There are no more curtains. We are free to be who we are! digital construct controlled by...wait...