What if each of the SMJHL teams were renamed...using anagrams of their preexisting locations and mascots?

Let's find out!

Mito Whale Sauna (Anaheim Outlaws)

• Named after Mito, Japan
  
• Location - Mito, Japan
  
• Logo - A group of whales in towels, sitting in a sauna
  
• Colors - grey, blue, brown
  

Ramada Rage Nacho (Anchorage Armada)

• Named after Ramada, Portugal
  
• Location - Ramada, Portugal
  
• Logo - an angry group of tortilla chips covered in standard nacho toppings
  
• Colors - yellow, brown, red
  

Rank Nicer Koala (Carolina Kraken)

• Named after Rank, Iran
  
• Location - Rank, Iran
  
• Logo - a smiling Koala, giving a "thumbs up" signal
  
• Colors - Grey and white
  

Opal Odor Carrots (Colorado Raptors)

• Named after Opal, Alberta
  
• Location - Opal, Alberta
  
• Logo - a large carrot covered with garbage/filth, complete with odor lines coming off
  
• Colors - orange, green, brown
  

Tondo Rifle Cats (Detroit Falcons)

• Named after Tondo, Philippines
  
• Location - Tondo, Philippines
  
• Logo - a howling cat holding an AR-15
  
• Colors - white, black, green
  

Tongin Elk Hawks (Kelowna Knights)

• Named after Tongin-dong, South Korea
  
• Location - Tongin-dong, South Korea
  
• Logo - a creature with the head and antlers of an elk on the body of a large brown hawk
  
• Colors - brown and white
  

Emit Mean Rib (Maine Timber)

• Named after Emit, North Carolina
  
• Location - Emit, North Carolina
  
• Logo - an anthropomorphized rib-cage with a menacing look
  
• Colors - red and white
  

Baton Lavender Bat (Nevada Battleborn)

• Named after Baton Rouge, Louisiana
  
• Location - Baton Rouge, Louisiana
  
• Logo - a large, lavender-colored bat
  
• Colors - lavender and black
  

Bend Surrender Snowflake (Quebec City Citadelles)

• Named after Bend, Oregon
  
• Location - Bend, Oregon
  
• Logo - a despondent snowflake waving a white flag of surrender
  
• Colors - white and ice blue
  

Lee Acquitted Bicycles (Newfoundland Berserkers)

• Named after Mount Lee, California
  
• Location - Los Angeles, California
  
• Logo - a pair of bicycles triumphantly riding out of a jail
  
• Colors - white, black, and tan
  

Route Scissor Claws (St. Louis Scarecrows)

• Named after Route, Northern Ireland
  
• Location - Route, Northern Ireland
  
• Logo - a bird with enormous, sharp scissors as its talons
  
• Colors - red, black, peach
  

Crush Woven Larvae (Vancouver Whalers)

• Named after Crush, Texas
  
• Location - West, Texas
  
• Logo - woven fabric combining to form an insect larvae
  
• Colors - black and yellow
  

Which one is your favorite?  Who is rebranding soon?

Dogwood Maple || C || Toronto North Stars|| Team Sweden || TPE: 1620

Name: Dogwood Maple

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 197

Number: 31

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SHL Regular Season

SEASON      TEAM       GP       G       A         P        +/-       H      SB  

    S60    |    HAM    |   66   |  11  |  29  |  40  |  +34  |  71  |  60   

    S61    |    HAM    |   66   |  11  |  33  |  44  |  +45  |  91  |  50 

    S62    |    HAM    |   66   |  8    |  36  |  44  |  +24  |  96  |  65  

    S63    |    HAM    |   66   |  15  |  32  |  47  |  +43  |  84  |  73 

Rifle cats are pretty epic ngl

CURRENT PLAYER

Thomas Sawschuk || C || Nevada Battleborn
Birthplace: Oshawa, Canada
Jersey Number: 9
Height: 6ft 2in || Weight: 190 lbs


         

FORMER PLAYER

"Captain" Jean-Paul Boivin || LW || Edmonton Blizzards
Name: Jean-Paul "The Boi" Boivin
TPE: 1454
Age: 26
Birthplace: Toronto, Canada
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 200 lbs
Number: 67
|| Accomplishments || 
S48 SMJHL Four Star Cup
S49 23rd pick in SHL Draft to Edmonton
S49 SHL Champions Cup
S50 WJC Silver Canada
S51 WJC Gold Canada
S56 IIHF Gold
100 Hits Club: S49, S50, S51

Authorized Bash Brother
|| Captaincy || 
WJC Canada  A. Captain: S49
WJC Canada Captain: S51
Vancouver Whalers  A. Captain: S49

Vancouver Whalers Captain: S50, S51 
Edmonton Blizzard Visiting A. Captain: S53, S54, S55
Edmonton Blizzard Captain: S56 

Bend surrender snowflake :eyes:

[/font]]
Bjørn Jakobsen | LD | New England Wolfpack | 850 TP
Age: 18 | Birthplace: Oslo, Norway | Height: 6'11" | Weight: 300 lbs
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Season Stats:
S57 | QCC | 66 GP | 14 G | 20 A | 34 P | 22 | 137 SOG | 6 PPP | 24 PIM | 70 H | 56 SB | 14 TKA
S58 | QCC | 66 GP | 07 G | 24 A | 31 P | -3 | 169 SOG | 3 PPP | 06 PIM | 11 H | 100 SB | 26 TKA
------------------------------------------------------------
SMJHL Playoff Stats:
S57 | QCC | 13 GP | 03 G | 03 A | 06 P | 06 | 019 SOG | 0 PPP | 02 PIM | 09 H | 17 SB | 02 TKA[/pbl]
S58 | QCC | 17 GP | 04 G | 03 A | 07 P | 04 | 055 SOG | 0 PPP | 00 PIM | 01 H | 32 SB | 07 TKA
------------------------------------------------------------
SHL Season Stats:
S59 | NEW | 69 GP | 04 G | 09 A | 13 P | -18 | 051 SOG | 0 PPP | 23 PIM | 32 H | 93 SB | 13 TKA
S60 | NEW | 66 GP | 02 G | 14 A | 16 P | -16 | 069 SOG | 0 PPP | 04 PIM | 28 H | 76 SB | 14 TKA
CAREER | 135 GP | 06 G | 23 A | 29 P | -34 | 120 SOG | 0 PPP | 27 PIM | 60 H | 169 SB | 127 TKA
------------------------------------------------------------
WJC Season Stats:
S57 | WRD | 00 GP | 00 G | 00 A | 00 P | 00 | 000 SOG | 0 PPP | 00 PIM | 00 H | 00 SB | 00 TKA
------------------------------------------------------------
IIHF Season Stats:

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Transactions:
Picked 40th overall in S57 SMJHL Draft to the Quebec City Citadelles
Picked 26th overall in S58 SHL Draft to the San Francisco Pride
Called up to the San Francisco Pride ahead of S59
Traded to the New England Wolfpack halfway through S59
------------------------------------------------------------
Achievements:
Season 57 SMJHL All Star
Season 57 SMJHL Rookie of the Year Nominee
Season 58 SMJHL Four Star Cup Champions w/ Quebec City Citadelles
------------------------------------------------------------
TPE Total Before Each Season:
S57: 155 TPE
S58: 324 TPE
S59: 506 TPE
S60: 688 TPE
S61: 873 TPE
------------------------------------------------------------

Rifle cats ftw

 

Cal Labovitch |'| RW #12 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Switzerland

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Personal details

Hometown: Lausanne, Switzerland

Height: 6'1" |'| Weight: 202 lbs

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SHL STATISTICS

Regular season
S55 REG |'| Minnesota Chiefs      |'| GP: 50 |'| G:   12 |'| A: 15 |'| P: 27

S56 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 50 |'| G:   21 |'| A: 12 |'| P: 33

S57 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   31 |'| A: 20 |'| P: 51

S58 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   19 |'| A: 34 |'| P: 53

S59 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   23 |'| A: 39 |'| P: 62

S60 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   24 |'| A: 31 |'| P: 55

S61 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   42 |'| A: 30 |'| P: 72

S62 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   27 |'| A: 33 |'| P: 60

S63 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   18 |'| A: 35 |'| P: 53

S64 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   28 |'| A: 25 |'| P: 53

S65 REG |'| Baltimore Platoon |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   23 |'| A: 33 |'| P: 56

Post Season
S55 PO |'| Minnesota Chiefs      |'| Did not make playoffs                 

S56 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Did not make playoffs                

S57 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Did not make playoffs                

S58 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Did not make playoffs                 

S59 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Did not make playoffs                

S60 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 04 |'| G:  03 |'| A: 00 |'| P: 03

S61 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 04 |'| G:  01 |'| A: 02 |'| P: 03

S62 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 05 |'| G:  02 |'| A: 02 |'| P: 04

S63 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Did not make playoffs

S64 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Did not make playoffs

S65 PO |'| Baltimore Platoon |'| GP: 05 |'| G:  02 |'| A: 01 |'| P: 03

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SMJHL STATISTICS

Regular season

S51 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 50 |'| G:  07 |'| A: 24 |'| P: 31

S52 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 50 |'| G: 19 |'| A: 35 |'| P: 54

S53 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 50 |'| G: 16 |'| A: 25 |'| P: 41

S54 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 50 |'| G:  09 |'| A: 14 |'| P: 23

Post Season

S51 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP:  07 |'| G: 03 |'| A: 02 |'| P: 05
S52 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 10 |'| G: 05 |'| A: 01 |'| P: 06

S53 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 17 |'| G: 02 |'| A: 03 |'| P: 05

S54 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP:  07 |'| G: 01 |'| A: 03 |'| P: 04

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WJC STATISTICS

S50 WJC |'| Team Alpine |'| GP: 19 |'| G: 00 |'| A:  02   |'| P:  02

S51 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 21 |'| G: 04 |'| A: 10   |'| P: 14

S52 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 02 |'| A:  06   |'| P:  08

S53 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 01 |'| A: 12   |'| P: 13

S54 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 01 |'| A:  02   |'| P:  03

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IIHF STATISTICS

S51 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 00 |'| A: 00 |'| P: 00

S52 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 00 |'| A: 00 |'| P: 00

S53 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 02 |'| A: 03 |'| P: 05

S54 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 01 |'| A: 06 |'| P: 07

S55 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 04 |'| A: 02 |'| P: 06

S56 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 02 |'| A: 03 |'| P: 05

S57 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 03 |'| A: 05 |'| P: 08

S58 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 04 |'| A: 07 |'| P: 11

S59 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 06 |'| A: 07 |'| P: 13

S60 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 03 |'| A: 04 |'| P: 07

S61 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 03 |'| A:12 |'| P: 15

S62 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 03 |'| A: 03 |'| P: 06

S63 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 04 |'| A: 06 |'| P: 10

S64 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 06 |'| A: 05 |'| P: 11

S65 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 09 |'| A: 06 |'| P: 15

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Awards, Cups and Medals

S51 |'| Elias Armia Award (Commissioners' award of excellence)

S51 |'| IIHF (Switzerland NT) |'| Silver medal

S51 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Co-GM

S51 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Bronze medal

S52 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Laurifer Trophy  

S52 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Co-GM

S53 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Laurifer Trophy 

S53 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Oriens Trophy 

S53 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Four Star Cup

S54 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Co-GM

S55 |'| Minnesota Chiefs |'| Called up to SHL

S55 |'| Ryan Jesster Trophy (nominee)

S56 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Co-GM

S59 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GM

S61 |'| Jay McDonald Trophy

S61 |'| Ron Mexico Trophy (nominee)

S62 |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GM

S63 |'| IIHF (Switzerland NT) |'| Silver medal

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Draft position
SHL     |'| Draft S52 |'| Round 1 |'|   2OA
SMJHL |'| Draft S51 |'| Round 3 |'| 25OA

 

  

Julian Flörsch |'| LD #42 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Switzerland

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Personal details

Hometown: Geneva, Switzerland

Height: 6'0" |'| Weight: 200 lbs

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SHL STATISTICS

Regular season[/pbl]

S69 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   08 |'| A: 23 |'| P: 31

S70 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   11 |'| A: 24 |'| P: 35

S71 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   10 |'| A: 18 |'| P: 28

S72 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   09 |'| A: 27 |'| P: 36

S73 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   08 |'| A: 25 |'| P: 33

S74 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   06 |'| A: 27 |'| P: 33

S75 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   23 |'| A: 39 |'| P: 62

S76 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   28 |'| A: 31 |'| P: 59

S77 REG |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 66 |'| G:   35 |'| A: 50 |'| P: 85

Post Season
S69 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 05 |'| G:  00 |'| A: 02 |'| P: 02
S70 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 04 |'| G:  00 |'| A: 00 |'| P: 00
S73 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 05 |'| G:  00 |'| A: 01 |'| P: 01
S74 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 04 |'| G:  00 |'| A: 00 |'| P: 00
S75 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 06 |'| G:  06 |'| A: 02 |'| P: 08
S76 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 07 |'| G:  02 |'| A: 05 |'| P: 07
S77 PO |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| GP: 12 |'| G:  06 |'| A: 03 |'| P: 09
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SMJHL STATISTICS
Regular season
S65 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 66 |'| G:  07 |'| A: 15 |'| P: 22
S66 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 66 |'| G: 11 |'| A: 19 |'| P: 30
S67 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 66 |'| G: 16 |'| A: 36 |'| P: 52
S68 REG |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 66 |'| G: 13 |'| A: 40 |'| P: 53
Post Season
S65 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 17 |'| G: 00 |'| A: 03 |'| P: 03
S66 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 00 |'| G: 00 |'| A: 00 |'| P: 00
S67 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 10 |'| G: 02 |'| A: 02 |'| P: 04

S68 PO |'| Detroit Falcons |'| GP: 18 |'| G: 05 |'| A: 08 |'| P:13
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WJC STATISTICS
S64 WJC |'| Team SWEDEN |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 01 |'| A:   01   |'| P:   02
S65 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 01 |'| A:  05   |'| P:  06
S66 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 01 |'| A:   06   |'| P:   07
S67 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 03 |'| A:   01   |'| P:   04
S68 WJC |'| Team DACH |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 01 |'| A:  04   |'| P:  05
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IIHF STATISTICS
S66 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 01 |'| A: 03 |'| P:  04
S67 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 00 |'| A: 01 |'| P:  01
S68 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 13 |'| G: 00 |'| A: 01 |'| P:  01
S69 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 00 |'| A: 00 |'| P:  00
S70 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 00 |'| A: 01 |'| P:  01
S71 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 02 |'| A: 03 |'| P:  05
S72 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 00 |'| A: 03 |'| P:  03
S73 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 01 |'| A: 02 |'| P:  03
S74 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 01 |'| A: 11 |'| P:  12
S75 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 02 |'| A: 01 |'| P:  03
S76 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 15 |'| G: 05 |'| A: 06 |'| P:  11
S77 IIHF |'| Switzerland NT |'| GP: 12 |'| G: 04 |'| A: 05 |'| P:  09

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Awards, Cups and Medals

S65 |'| IIHF (Switzerland NT) |'| Gold medal

S65 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Laurifer trophy

S65 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Linna-Landvik trophy

S65 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Four Star Cup
S65 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Gold medal
S66 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Gold medal
S67 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Gold medal
S67 |'| Quilha Agante Trophy
S68 |'| WJC (Team DACH) |'| Gold medal
S68 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Laurifer trophy
S68 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Linna-Landvik trophy
S68 |'| Detroit Falcons |'| Four Star Cup
S68 |'| Quilha Agante Trophy (nominee)

S69 |'| Minnesota Monarchs |'| Called up to SHL
S69 |'| Ryan Jesster Trophy (nominee)
S69 |'| Rookie All Star Team
S74 |'| IIHF (Switzerland NT) |'| Silver medal
S76 |'| IIHF (Switzerland NT) |'| Silver medal

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Draft position
SHL|'| Draft S66 |'| Autodrafted

SMJHL|'| Draft S65 |'| Round 1 |'|   11OA

 

  

 
Credit for the images goes to @Carpy48, @soulja, @fever95 and @Wasty

Logo - a howling cat holding an AR-15

I can get on board with that. 

 

These are pretty good ngl.