Top Cheddar Cheeses It, Misses Wolfpack Camp


Top Cheddar Seen Attempting to De-board his Flight in Anaheim

(ANAHEIM, CALIF) Wolfpack prospect Top Cheddar probably didn't expect to find himself on the wing of a Boeing 747 earlier this week, but that's just where he was in the middle of an unbelievable story centered around the great history of the name of our Region. At the S59 SHL Entry Draft, Anaheim Outlaws prospect Top Cheddar was selected 40th Overall by the New England Wolfpack. "I am so humbled and honored to have this opportunity to play for the Wolfpack," Cheddar said in an interview with reporters the day after the Entry Draft. "I will work tirelessly to show Kenvald, my teammates, and the best fans in hockey that they were right to take a chance on me."

This past week, the Wolfpack prospects were invited to attend SHL Training Camp, a time-honored tradition that allows coaches, the media, and fans to see how their prospects are developing, and in the case of these youngsters, how they stack up alongside the stars they've come to know and love.


Wolfpack Veteran Defenseman Finn Rhys Offers Advice to S59 First Round Selection Matej Winters at Wolfpack Team Training Camp

However, Top Cheddar, the bruising sniper from Sweden, was unable to attend because of a traveling mix up. A new player in North America, Top Cheddar came from afar to demonstrate that he could compete with the elite of the sport. Cheddar's mistake was that he thought that he was drafted by the Old England Wolfpack, which he assumed would be based in Great Britain. So, he eagerly boarded a flight from LAX to Heathrow, London, England, in hopes of joining his teammates as soon as possible.


Cheddar, with the metaphorical key of opportunity provided by being drafted to the SHL, looking at a globe to determine where his journey will begin

Cheddar was recognized by none other than SHL Commentator Dick Shivers, who was returning from his hosting duties at TSN's Spring Break San Diego to take some well deserved time off. "Cheddar, what are you doing? You should be training, grinding, practicing to get the shot of a lifetime, to play in the SHL!"

Cheddar eventually realized his mistake, aided by the fact that he called both Winters and fellow Wolfpack prospect Jack Micro, and they both told him that he was on the wrong flight.

"We had tickets together, they were provided by the team," said Micro, another prospect vying for a spot on the Wolfpack roster this season, "We said we were going to meet at the Airport In and Out. I don't know why Top thought he had to buy his own ticket to England to get to training camp."

Cheddar demanded to speak to the Captain in the Cockpit, which was obviously declined (9/11 never forget). He then decided to take matters into his own hands by requesting an upgrade to the Exit Row. After paying an additional $895, Cheddar than opened the Exit Door and attempted to de-board the plane from the wing. Officers were called to the tarmac, but Cheddar willingly went back into the plane because he has a fear of heights and a fear of jumping off the wing of an airplane. Cheddar was then sedated and the plane took off to Old England.

What will happen? Will Top Cheddar make it to the Wolfpack Training Camp? Is this a blatant attempt to write nonsense to pad my bank account? Will I go IA immediately after I post this? Stay tuned, or don't, I'm not going to tell you what to do.

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