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*Jayba1t* · 01-02-2023, 12:41 AM

The offseason is closing in on us, and we are almost at the SMJHL Draft.

Before the real busy season starts, and you're going to be answering scouting messages from every team, it is time to sit back and relax a little. Dreaming about how your life would've looked without hockey.

Written Task: What would your player be doing now, if he or she hadn't pursued a career in hockey? (250 word min.)

Graphic Task: Show us a picture of your player, doing what they'd do if they weren't a hockey player.

Reward: $500,000 for doing one of the above

Only current SMJHL Draftable Free Agents (S69 SMJHL Draftees, SHL class of S70) are eligible for this bounty.

There is no need to claim this anywhere. After grading the money should pop up in your account 'automatically'.

Deadline: Sunday, January 8th @ 11:59PM PST

***hockeyfan*** · 01-02-2023, 03:41 PM

If Ace Lightning had not been granted the God given gift of being one of the greatest young hockey players of this generation, he would likely be one of those guys who goes on a lot of reality TV shows. It's a great way to live if you can get in, because they give you money per appearance, while also giving you a lot of money for winning whatever reality show that you are on. Ace would be great at a show like Survivor, where his authentic athletic ability can be on full display in challenges, such as swimming to a platform or balancing a ball on a stick. He's also really good at lying and manipulating other humans in order to get what he wants.

Another reality show he might be good at would be like an America's Got Talent, or one of those type of shows where he can show off his skills and/or talents. Perhaps his tremendous singing abilities or a really cool magic trick which would fool even the best magicians (Penn and Teller) and earn him a lot of money and even his own show in Las Vegas. His future teammates will soon learn that Ace Lightning is good at puppeteering, which we all know is worth a lot of money.

The last reality show that Ace Lightning would be amazing at is a cooking competition. Perhaps a Hells Kitchen or Masterchef, where he can teach Gordon Ramsay a thing or two about cooking and eating good food. (257)

*domffl* · 01-03-2023, 03:47 PM

If it weren’t for the offer to join the SHL, James Ward-Prowse would be tearing it up in the English Premier League on his hometown team, Southampton. Growing up, James Ward-Prowse (JWP) always wanted to play in the SHL. Every night, he would practice in his garage, learning how to shoot from distance, how to stop on a dime (although he was practicing in roller skates), and how to control the puck as if it were his third limb. But alas, for the majority of his youth, he was only scouted for his other-worldly football abilities. JWP is known as the best free-kick taker of his generation. Even though his heart was set towards the SHL, due to where he was born, he was only ever looked at for footy. The United Kingdom takes great pride in its football history, but not as much in its hockey roots. Therefore, if it weren’t for the SMJHL giving him a shot to she that he can make it as a hockey player, then JWP would be forced to live out the rest of his days torching his opponents without much effort in the Premier League.
Otherwise, JWP likes to bike around the historic city of Southampton, visit the ruins of the Southampton Wall, give tours at the University of Southampton, and practice for the 2036 World Cup, where he is certain that it “is coming home.” JWP will be extremely sad to leave behind all of the wonderful things Southampton has to offer, but he is looking forward to the SMJHL Draft and he can’t wait to get started!
(267 words)

chetib · 01-06-2023, 07:24 PM

If Tibuk Soonika wasn’t playing hockey he would likely be shredding the slopes in the Swiss Alps. Also an accomplished professional skier Tibuk regularly competes in regional and international ski dancing competitions. His grace and elegance on the ice can only truly be matched by his flowing ability to his a pirouette on ski blades. Now one might ask, why on earth are there international competitions for Ski Blades? Was this not a ridiculous looking fad that should have died many years ago? The answer is yes it should have but that is beside the point. It has taken Tibuk years to hone these skills and to throw them away because culture has dismissed the beauty of the ski blade is almost as nonsensical as this paragraph has turned out to be.

Alternatively Tibuk might also be experimenting with his other passion. Experimental drink mixing. Tibuk loves the challenge of mixing drinks together in hopes of finding the perfect combination for his next social gathering. Previous successes have included the likes of “Ghost Pepper Milk”, “Tequilla-Maquilla”, The “Hold up why is this frothing”, and everyone’s favorite the “I am not drinking that Tibuk, get it off the table”. However with all these successes Tibuk has had some failures in kitchen. His sympathies go out to the Goldstein wedding for the “Monkey Lacquer” incident and for allowing the monkeys to gain their freedom during the reception. Mistakes were made but I think we all learned a valuable lesson about doing things the right way and avoiding shortcuts and monkeys.

orangie · 01-06-2023, 08:32 PM

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