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Publicity Stunt: The Ima Noobie Story Part 1
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Ima Noobie was setting up his camera for his latest stunt to try and get YouTube famous when he heard a buzz on his Nokia IPhone.  He checked the message. The Nevada Battleborn? The who? What? Ima played back the message:

"I'm calling on behalf of the Nevada Battleborn and just wanted to let you know we are interested in bringing you in for a tryout before the SMJHL Draft. We have several rookies on our radar, and you are one of them, Mister Noobie."

Woah! Hold up! WHAT?!?

He quickly made a phone call. He could feel his hands trembling.

"Thank you for calling the law offices of Ditcher, Quick and Hyde, specializing in divorce law. How may I help you?"

"Mom! Put dad on the phone, now!" He was starting to sweat.

"I'm sorry, sir, you'll need to make an appointment...."

"MOM! I'm not a client. I'm your son."

"Oh, hi Puddin' Pop...."

"GAHHH! Stop calling me that and put Dad on the phone. It's an emergency...."

Some annoying time later, as Ima Noobie was ready to jump out of a ten-story building, he finally heard his dad's voice.

"What have you gotten yourself into this time, doofus."

Ima groaned and began to explain to his unsympathetic father what he had heard on his voicemail.

His father listened patiently and then replied, "didn't you sign a UDFA with the Ottawa Highlanders?"

Ima replied. "I did. Just as a YouTube publicity stunt. I'm trying to grow my followers!"

His dad snorted. "You only have two followers! One is your mother, and the other one is your sister. And she only does it to leave troll comments!"

"Thanks for the support, Dad."

"Look here son. On page 352 paragraph 12, it states clearly "after the season is over, the player will be entered into the SMJHL Draft Pool and is eligible to be drafted by any team in the league."

"You mean...."

"I mean, you better find a way to get to Nevada and attend that tryout if you don't want to be in breach of contract."

Ima Noobie turned pale. He was in worse shape than Jake Paul trying to fight Mike Tyson.

As he hung up the phone and began to really contemplate his life decisions, his Nokia buzzed again.

"Hello, Mister Noobie. I am calling on behalf of the Detroit Falcons of the SMJHL..."

"GAHHHHH!"

To be continued
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