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Welcome to Saturday’s edition of the Post Game Show. Today we will be recapping the past few days for the Wolfpack. As always, I am joined by former SHL players Eoghan O’Donnell and Tobias Mortensen. Take it away gents!

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Eoghan O'Donnell GBE and Tobias Mortensen CBE

GAME SUMMARIES WITH EOGHAN O'DONNELL AND TOBIAS MORTENSEN!</div>

EO: Thanks Gus! We have something very serious we have to talk to you about, Toby.

TM: What’s that, Eoghan?

EO: You mispronounced poor Erik Lehner’s name.

TM: I’m pretty sure I said Robin Lehner correctly. It’s not a hard name to pronounce. ROBIN. LEHNER. See, it’s easy.

EO: *clears throat* That’s ERIK Lehner, not Robin. Those two aren’t even close, Toby.

TM: …oh. I’m sure he didn’t mind. It’s not like I made a major mistake.

EO: If I was Donald Trump, I’d fire you. But I’m not, so I can’t. Anyways, this week we’re not really going to go into depth about the games. Instead, we’ll talk about how crappy the other teams in the league are. But first, I want to name my My Pierre McGuire MONSTER of the week brought to you by the Pushover Plunge.

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The New(?) sponsor of the Pierre McGuire MONSTER of the Game/Week</div>

TM: I thought it was brought to you by Turtle Wax.

EO: The Pushover Plunge is giving me a lifetime supply of alcohol.

TM: Lush.

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"I'm going to get you, Tobias" - Erik Lehner</div>

EO: Shut-up, fool. Anyways, my Pierre McGuire MONSTER of the Week brought to you by the Pushover Plunge is Erik Lehner because he deserves some love after you have repeatedly mis-pronounced his name. CONGRATS! Who is the worst team in the league.

TM: The worst team of all is the Toronto Stars. They are so brutal, even Mexicans don’t like them.

EO: How does that even remotely make sense? My favourite team, or should I say least favourite team are the West Kendall Platoon. They are so bad, they make little babies cry. They are the reason Justin Bieber is relevant. Hey Toby, I hear that’s your favourite artist.

TM: I bet Maxy told you that. He’s always trying to ruin my reputation. I’m going to tell you one time that that is not true.

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Tobias Mortensen's (and Maxy's) favourite musical artist.</div>

EO: Wow, you’re super cool. How did you ever get so cool? Actually, how can I be as cool as you?

TM: It takes a lot of practice, Eoghan.

EO: I have another question for you, Toby. Why do you look so much like Nicklas Wastlund?

TM: I can’t tell you my secrets to sexiness.

EO: I just can’t deal with you right now. So we’re going to cut this short. Any final thoughts?

TM: I’m too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts.

EO: No. Back to you Jim!

I hate you both. My name is Adele Dazeem, not Jim, not Gus. ADELE DAZEEM! We have a special interview with The Beast! Hey it can't be any worse than last week's. Down to the most eloquent person since Don Cherry, Reginald Semin.

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Carter "The Beast" O'Callahan with Reginald Semin</div>

RS: Thanks Pierre! I’m here with Carter O’Callahan. Carter, how do you think the season is going so far?

CO: It’s going sossssssooooo ggggrreeeaattt! Reeaasaaaally love the waaaay we’re play-playing.

RS: Are you drunk?

CO: Fffffffuffffuuuuckk you, you son-ssssson of a bitch-nizzle.

RS: I don’t appreciate your tone, mister.

CO: I don give a fuck you stupid cock-sucker.

RS: I heard you are a little bitch, how do you feel about that?

CO: Oh aren’t you a high and mighty son of a gun. Go fudge yourself. I hate your guts and hope you die.

RS: You’re an even bigger lush than that Eoghan O’Donnell fellow.

CO: Do you even lift? You’re a scrub and awful and I hate you.

RS: Love you too, back to you Dickhead.


Gee, thanks Reginald, I certainly appreciate the love. Thanks for joining us on tonight’s show. May God have mercy on your souls. For the Post Game Show, I’m Adele Dazeem.

689 words.

haha great read sherf!

Ethan Bouchard | Defense | Tampa Bay Barracuda | 1,425 TPE
Height: 5'11"  
Weight: 194 lbs  
Number: 75
Birthplace: Skellefteå, Sweden  
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SMJHL Regular Season Statistics
S58|Scarecrows|GP: 66|G: 05|A: 07|PTS: 12|PIM: 59|HITS: 57|SB: 24|TKA: 18|+/-: -33
S59|Scarecrows|GP: 66|G: 06|A: 12|PTS: 18|PIM: 16|HITS: 80|SB: 70|TKA: 36|+/-: -09
S60|Scarecrows|GP: 66|G: 14|A: 20|PTS: 34|PIM: 43|HITS: 69|SB: 50|TKA: 28|+/-: +16
S61|Scarecrows|GP: 66|G: 11|A: 22|PTS: 33|PIM: 04|HITS: 71|SB: 39|TKA: 38|+/-: -11
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SHL Regular Season Statistics
S62|Barracuda|GP: 66|G: 02|A: 19|PTS: 21|PIM: 26|HITS: 24|SB: 81|TKA: 16|+/-: +13
S63|Barracuda|GP: 66|G: 03|A: 17|PTS: 20|PIM: 08|HITS: 13|SB: 72|TKA: 19|+/-: +18
S64|Barracuda|GP: 66|G: 10|A: 26|PTS: 36|PIM: 33|HITS: 40|SB: 96|TKA: 19|+/-: +14
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SMJHL Playoff Statistics
S58|Scarecrows|GP: 06|G: 0|A: 3|PTS: 03|PIM: 00|HITS: 04|SB: 05|TKA: 03|+/-: -1
S59|Scarecrows|GP: 07|G: 0|A: 0|PTS: 00|PIM: 04|HITS: 12|SB: 11|TKA: 00|+/-: -2
S60|Scarecrows|GP: 11|G: 1|A: 7|PTS: 08|PIM: 00|HITS: 06|SB: 02|TKA: 06|+/-: +4
S61|Scarecrows|GP: 07|G: 1|A: 2|PTS: 03|PIM: 00|HITS: 09|SB: 01|TKA: 01|+/-: -1
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SHL Playoff Statistics
S62|Barracuda|GP: 12|G: 3|A: 5|PTS: 8|PIM: 0|HITS: 5|SB: 22|TKA: 6|+/-: -1
S63|Barracuda|GP: 13|G: 1|A: 1|PTS: 2|PIM: 0|HITS: 3|SB: 20|TKA: 3|+/-: -9
S62|Barracuda|GP: 02|G: 0|A: 0|PTS: 0|PIM: 0|HITS: 0|SB: 02|TKA: 0|+/-: -5
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Transactions:
S58: Drafted 6th Overall by the St. Louis Scarecrows in the S58 SMJHL Entry Draft
S59: Drafted 13th Overall by the Tampa Bay Barracuda in the S59 SHL Entry Draft
S59: Signed a 3 year/$7.5M contract with the Tampa Bay Barracuda
S62: Signed a 3 year/$9M extension with the Tampa Bay Barracuda
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Awards & Achievements:
S60: WJC Silver Medalist
S61: WJC Silver Medalist
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PREVIOUS PLAYER STATISTICS

Maxy does have Bieber fever doesn't he.

Sigs by Me, Merica, High Stick King, Rum_Ham, Jess, vulfzilla, enigmatic, and Carpy

 

Brian Morley | LAP | S30 Hall of Fame
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CAREER AWARDS/ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
1x Challenge Cup (S17)
2x 1st All-Star Team (S22, S24)
1x 2nd All-Star Team (S23)
1x Sergei Karpotsov Trophy (S22)
2x Jay McDonald Trophy (S22, S24)
2x Damian Littleton Nominee (S21)
2x Ron Mexico Nominee (S22, S23)
2x Jeff Dar Nominee (S23, S24)
First, second and fifth most goals in a season in the 52 game era
Second most points in a season in the 52 game era
Second most goals by a player in Los Angeles Panthers franchise history
Second most points by a player in Los Angeles Panthers franchise history
Most goals, assists and points by a player drafted in S14
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CAREER STATS:
758 GP:  265 Goals, 328 Assists, 593 Points

Chimkin Wing | Right Wing | Retired Beef Cake
Jersey Number: 35
Height: 6ft 8in
Weight: 225 lbs
Birthplace: Zrenjanin, Serbia
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Signed as a free agent in S55 with the Anchorage Armada
Drafted 47th overall in the S56 SHL draft by the Buffalo Stampede
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SMJHL REGULAR SEASON STATS:
S55: GP: 10 | W: 5 | L: 4 | OTL: 0 | GAA: 2.31 | SV%: .910 | SO: 1
S56: GP: 26 | W: 12 L: 8 | OTL: 3 | GAA: 2.59 | SV%: .893 | SO: 2
S57: GP: 53 | W: 33 L: 12 | OTL: 7 | GAA: 2.02 | SV%: .920 | SO: 8
S58: GP: 51 | W: 27 L: 22 | OTL: 2 | GAA: 2.11 | SV%: .927 | SO: 8
SMJHL PLAYOFF STATS:
S57: GP: 16 | W: 12 L: 3 | OTL: 1 | GAA: 1.86 | SV%: .926 | SO: 1
S58: GP: 21 | W: 13 L: 7 | OTL: 1 | GAA: 2.56 | SV%: .906 | SO: 0
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SHL REGULAR SEASON STATS:
S58: GP: 3 | W: 2 | L: 0 | OTL: 1 | GAA: 1.95 | SV%: .880 | SO: 1
S59: GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 26 | P: 34 | +/-: 38 | PIM: 16
S60: GP: 66 | G: 19 | A: 23 | P: 42 | +/-: 32 | PIM: 12
S61: GP: 66 | G: 11 | A: 31 | P: 42 | +/-: 36 | PIM: 38
S62: GP: 66 | G: 4 | A: 38 | P: 42 | +/-: 34 | PIM: 12
S63: GP: 66 | G: 6 | A: 28 | P: 34 | +/-: 7 | PIM: 19
S64: GP: 66 | G: 36 | A: 54 | P: 90 | +/-: 44 | PIM: 16
S65: GP: 66 | G: 44 | A: 41 | P: 85 | +/-: 18 | PIM: 18
S66: GP: 66 | G: 27 | A: 54 | P: 81 | +/-: 12 | PIM: 34
S67: GP: 66 | G: 20 | A: 55 | P: 75 | +/-: -10 | PIM: 44
S68: GP: 66 | G: 33 | A: 57 | P: 90 | +/-: 32 | PIM: 20
S69: GP: 66 | G: 32 | A: 59 | P: 91 | +/-: 31 | PIM: 34
S70: GP: 66 | G: 12 | A: 64 | P: 76 | +/-: 31 | PIM: 26
S71: GP: 66 | G: 23 | A: 38 | P: 61 | +/-: 22 | PIM: 26
S72: GP: 66 | G: 22 | A: 33 | P: 55 | +/-: 0 | PIM: 34
S73: GP: 66 | G: 17 | A: 39 | P: 56 | +/-: 21 | PIM: 20
S74: GP: 66 | G: 29 | A: 38 | P: 67 | +/-: 28 | PIM: 20
TOT: GP: 1056 | G: 343 | A: 678 | P: 1021 | +/-: 376 | PIM: 389
SHL PLAYOFF STATS:
S59: GP: 19 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 4
S60: GP: 22 | G: 6 | A: 15 | P: 21 | +/-: 12 | PIM: 4
S61: GP: 9 | G: 1 | A: 5 | P: 6 | +/-: 7 | PIM: 2
S62: GP: 9 | G: 2 | A: 3 | P: 5 | +/-: 3 | PIM: 2
S63: GP: 12 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +/-: 2 | PIM: 0
S64: GP: 11 | G: 4 | A: 8 | P: 12 | +/-: 2 | PIM: 2
S65: GP: 18 | G: 12 | A: 14 | P: 26 | +/-: 12 | PIM: 0
S66: GP: 16 | G: 4 | A: 9 | P: 13 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 2
S67: GP: 4 | G: 1 | A: 2 | P: 3 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 0
S68: GP: 17 | G: 10 | A: 17 | P: 27 | +/-: 6 | PIM: 10
S69: GP: 4 | G: 1 | A: 4 | P: 5 | +/-: -5 | PIM: 2
S70: GP: 7 | G: 2 | A: 1 | P: 3 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 2
S71: GP: 21 | G: 7 | A: 17 | P: 24 | +/-: 6 | PIM: 4
S72: GP: 5 | G: 0 | A: 1 | P: 1 | +/-: -4 | PIM: 0
S73: GP: 6 | G: 1 | A: 6 | P: 6 | +/-: 0 | PIM: 2
S74: GP: 9 | G: 0 | A: 2 | P: 2 | +/-: -3 | PIM: 4
TOT: GP: 189 | G: 54 | A: 114 | P: 168 | +/-: 34 | PIM: 40
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AWARDS AND ACCOLADES:
S55 Matt Lewis-Flood Trophy
S57 Four Star Cup Champion
S57 SMJHL Second All Star Team
S57 Brodie Witzel Trophy - Playoffs MVP
S58 SMJHL First All Star Team
S58 Matt Lewis-Flood Trophy
S58 Cedric Robinson Trophy - Best Goalie
S60 Challenge Cup Champion
S64 Named Buffalo Stampede Captain
S64 Aidan Richan Award
S69 SHL All Star
S71 Challenge Cup Champion

Ongo Gablogian, the art collector | RD | Carolina Kraken
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Charmed, I'm sure
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Jersey Number: 0
Height: 4 ft 10in
Weight: 290 lbs
Birthplace: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
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Drafted 8th overall by the Carolina Kraken in S74
Drafted 39th overall by the Buffalo Stampede in S75
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REGULAR SEASON STATS
S74: GP: 66 | G: 3 | A: 22 | P: 25 | +/-: -16 | PIM: 32 | HITS: 109
S75: GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 18 | P: 26 | +/-: -9 | PIM: 38 | HITS: 126
S76: GP: 66 | G: 6 | A: 25 | P: 31 | +/-: +52 | PIM: 26 | HITS: 112
S77: GP: 66 | G: 13 | A: 37 | P: 50 | +/-: -8 | PIM: 41 | HITS: 120
TOT: GP: 264 | G: 30 | A: 203 | P: 132 | +/-: +19 | PIM:13 | HITS: 112
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PLAYOFF STATS
S74: DNQ
S75: GP: 12 | G: 0 | A: 1 | P: 1 | +/-: -2 | PIM: 6 | HITS: 22
S76: GP: 20 | G: 0 | A: 11 | P: 11 | +/-: 0 | PIM: 14 | HITS: 43
S77: GP: 11 | G: 2 | A: 7 | P: 9 | +/-: -1 | PIM: 6 | HITS: 14
TOT: GP: 32 | G: 2 | A: 19 | P: 21 | +/-: -3 | PIM: 26  | HITS: 79
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AWARDS AND ACCOLADES
S76 Alex Metzler Award

❤!! RIP to the big homies 701 and Mac !!❤

Lold as usual sherif

Thanks Jove for my sig