The Hamilton Steelhawks if they were Critical Theorists.

Here’s a history lesson for you goobers because you should know who these people are.

I’ll start with myself.

<a href='index.php?showuser=2646' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>Sleepy</a> – Karl Marx


Since I penned the SHL manifesto a short while back, I am most relatable to the highly revealed Karl Marx. Marx is a German born philosopher, economist, historian, political theorist, sociologist, journalist, and revolutionary socialist. Born to a middle class family, Marx studied political economy and Hegelian philosophy. Marx is most famously known for The Communist Manifesto and Das Kapital. His ideas about politics, socioeconomics, and class struggles became known as Marxism. Ironically, Marx spent a lot of his life living off the generosity of his friends. He is credited as being one of the principle architects of modern social sciences.

<a href='index.php?showuser=2683' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>NourFFAK</a> – Martin Heidegger


Heidegger is a philosopher's philosopher much like Nour is an SHLer’s SHLer. Heidegger is credited as being one of the most influential and important philosophers of the 20th century. Heidegger is known mostly for his theories of phenomenology and existentialism. He is best known for his book, Being and Time, where he began asking ontological questions about Being. Sadly, this book was never finished before his death in 1976. He also made critical contributions to the idea of Truth. Heidegger is a controversial figure due to his affiliations with Nazism before he resigned from his teaching position. Even though his views of jewish people may not be exactly kosher, his ideas are not to be ignored.

<a href='index.php?showuser=2644' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-59'>Loco</a> – Mark Fisher.


Mark Fisher is your classic s a d b o i, much like our resident s a d b o i, Loco. Unfortunately, he is no longer with us as he committed suicide this past January. Fisher, also known by his blogging pseudonym, k-punk, wrote several books none more notable, however, than Capitalist Realism. In Capitalist Realism Fisher breaks down exactly why capitalism is destroying the western world and why it is hard to imagine a coherent alternative to it. Fisher proposes that within a capitalist framework there is no space to conceive different forms of social structures, adding that younger generations are not concerned with recognizing alternatives to capitalism. Fisher also popularized Derrida’s concept of Hauntology, the idea that contemporary culture is haunted by the lost futures of modernity which were cancelled due to the concepts of postmodernity and neoliberalism. Remember kids, stay in school and for fucks sake, punch a capitalist. Or don’t. I’m not your dad, I can’t tell you what to do.



<a href='index.php?showuser=2261' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-13'>Gooney</a> – Paul-Michel Foucault


Gonney is everyone's favorite, I think that goes without saying. So now, let us talk about everyone’s favorite French theorist, Foucault! Foucault was born to an upper-class family and his ideas primarily address power and knowledge. Foucault is a historian of ideas, so to speak. Foucault’s most popular books, Discipline and Punish, and The History of Sexuality, devloped archaeological and genealogical methods that emphasise the role that power plays in society. Gooney is a powerplay dynamo, much like Foucault knows about power….palys. It was a shitty try at a pun, I know. Foucault died from HIV/AIDS in paris, becoming the first person in France to die from the disease at the age of 57. His thoughts and ideas shaped a generation of French Theorists much like Gooney shaping the minds of young SHLers through his mentorship position on the website.

<a href='index.php?showuser=283' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-13'>ThatDamnMcJesus</a> – Jacques Derrida


Hallsy, our fearless leader, the konstructer of Kebab, the originator of semiotics and phenomenology? Well, Derrida is the originator of semiotics and phenomenology. Derrida is one of the major figures associated with post-structuralism and postmodern philosophy. Hallsy does some things that are hard to understand, like Derrida, sometimes, and just like the French Maestro himself, is sometimes looked over. Derrida published over 40 books in his life among hundreds and hundreds of essays. I feel like this is sometimes looked over just like Hallsy’s contributions to the SHL. To this day Derrida’s theories are still influential of contemporary thinkers in Continental Theory in Europe. I would go into more detail about Derrida’s theories but they are just too difficult to speak about in summation. If you ever feel like reading Derrida, good luck and godspeed my friend. You’re gonna fucking need it.

<a href='index.php?showuser=2536' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>TheWoZy</a> – Jacques Marie Emile Lacan


Lacan is a fuckin trip, just like my man Wozy. Lacan, sometimes credited as being the most controversial psycho-analyst since Freud, had a significant impact on post-structural theory, linguistics, and film theory. Lacan was key in bringing the Mirror Stage to light. The Mirror Stage is a little confusing but I can try to explain it. As a child is developing, at about 6 months old they enter the mirror stage. This is the first time the child sees itself as a whole and this synthesis of an image of themselves creates a sense of contrast with a lack of coordination of the body, which is perceived by the child as fragmented. The child first experiences this contrast as a rivalry with its image and this creates an aggressive tension. To resolve this tension, the child identifies with its image and this leads to jubilation. Lacan understands this moment of jubilation since it leads to an imaginary sense of mastery. Yet, still, the child compares this new sense of mastery to the omnipotence of the mother and a depressive reaction may accompany the jubilation. I have no idea what the fuck that means, I’m sure you don’t either. Wozy is a hard man to understand, just like Lacan.




<a href='index.php?showuser=2572' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>DrunkenTeddy</a> – Jean-Paul Sartre



Yay! Another French theorist! Don’t worry, there is plenty more. Sartre added a calming and cool headed presence to French Continental Theory, much like Tedman adds a calming and down-to-earth presence to the Steelhawks locker room. Sartre’s work influenced sociology, critical theory, postcolonial theory, and literary studies. To this day, his work continues to impact those fields. Sartre’s writings challenged the cultural and social assumptions and expectations asked of him because of his bourgeois upbringing. This conflict between oppressive spirituality, destructive conformity, and an authentic way of being became the dominant theme of Sartre’s work. Much like Teddy, Sartre was a humble man. He turned down a Nobel Prize in Literature in 1964 claiming that a writer should not let himself be turned into an institution.

<a href='index.php?showuser=2583' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-17'>QuantumCowboy</a> – George Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel


Lol. Hegel. When talking about the Steelhawks, you have to talk about QC. Likewise, when talking about critical theory (I’m sorry this is so long and boring but I need the money, lol.), you have to talk about Hegel. Hegel was an important figure in German idealism. His pinnacle achievement in idealism is sometimes called absolute Idealism, in which, dualisms are overcome, for example, mind and nature, and subject and object. His philosophy of spirit conceptually includes psychology, art history, religion, and philosophy. Even though Hegel is seen as a controversial figure in some communities, he remains in canonical stature within Western philosophy and is universally recognized. Just like QC will stand in the Steelhawks canonical structure for seasons to come.

<a href='index.php?showuser=2529' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-65'>Jakub</a> – Simone de Baeuvoir


Meg is a special person, and she deserves a special theorist! Baeuvoir was a French (surprise surprise, right?) writer, intellectual, and existential philosopher. Though she did not consider herself to be a philosopher, she made massive contributions to both feminist existentialism and feminist theory. She wrote many essays and books on the topics of philosophy, contemporary French politics, and social issues. She is mostly known for her 1949 book The Second SexI, a detailed analysis of women’s oppression and a foundational tract of contemporary feminism. Beauvoir was a badass in her time. Meg is a badass in her time. You put two and two together. And no, it doesn’t equal 4.

<a href='index.php?showuser=2761' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-10'>ConnorTanner</a> – Clement Greenberg


Taking a turn away from the French we move onto an American. Clement Greenberg is sometimes considered a controversial figure due to his favoritism of abstract expressionist painters, just like Keygan is sometimes controversial because of his love of the stinky squad….I mean Montreal. Greenberg was most notably known for his relationship with painter Jackson Pollock. His book of essays Art and Culture was groundbreaking in the sense that it was able to put a somewhat tangible definition on what art is and isn’t. Greenberg believed that Avant Garde art was too “innocent” to be used as propaganda compared to much more representational art of the time period. I think Greenberg was a direct result of McCarthyism in the United States. Greenberg is still a cool dude though. Keygan...eh. You like pineapples on pizza you fuckin lobster.

<a href='index.php?showuser=74' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-3'>Tylar</a> – Alain Badiou



Back to the French. Honestly, I say that like its a bad thing, but the French are theoretical badasses. Tylar and Alain Badiou have a lot in common in that theorists always remember who Badiou is and for being as great as he is, but no one else does. Just like the Steelhawks will always remember Tylar for being as great as he really is. Badiou is known for his theory of Events and Being and he is known as a post-marxian theorist. Post-Marxism is a complicated thing that kind of blurs the lines between Materialism, Marxism, and some basic capitalist ideals. Badiou is a proponent of revisiting communism in attempts to make it a functional social framework. The world doesn’t know it loves Badiou, but it does. Just like the world doesn’t know it loves Tylar. But it 100% does.

<a href='index.php?showuser=36' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-3'>Jaymay</a> – Linda Nochlin


Last, but certainly not least, is JayMay. Fuck. JayMay is so cool, lol. She’s as cool as, say, Linda Nochlin. Nochlin was an American art historian who recently passed away last month in October. (rest in peace you badass) Like I said, she was a badass and influential in early feminist theory with her pioneering essay, Why Have There Been No Great Women Artists? Nochlin was well known in academic circles having worked in the Art History departments at Yale and The City University of New York. Her attention was drawn to investigating the ways in which gender affects the creation and appreciation of art. Outside, of feminist art history she is known for her views on Realism. Nochlin was one of the first people to apply theories of Orientalism to art history. Nochlin was a pillar in the art and critical theory worlds like JayMay will be a pillar in net for the Steelhawks.

Holy fuck, I'm so sorry. Thank you guys for reading. This was way too long. Give me my damn money.

Code:

word count: 1757. I did a bunch of research and other shit for this too. So a nice lil bonus would be cool. :)

arigato to everyone for the dope sigs <3

Tom Holberg|| RW || Anchorage Armada


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Capy Bara || D || Vancouver Whalers
Name: Capy Bara
Age: 17
Birthplace: Japan, Sendai
Height: 6ft 11
Weight: 200 lbs
Number: 1
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