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Steelhead77 · 12-05-2017, 11:50 PM

The S38 SMJHL Entry Draft has some great young players in it with bright future’s ahead but two of them have a unique history and now a budding rivalry post draft as they ended up on different teams. Let’s take a look at the relationship between Karno Gronkjear and Patrick Brumm Jr…

First we look at Patrick Brumm Jr, son of the well known Patrick Brumm Sr who played many seasons in the SHL and was an excellent player, albeit slightly enigmatic. The first thing we notice about Brumm Jr is that he has no place of birth. Patrick Brumm Jr came into this world unlike anyone else, he apparently materialized out of his fathers balls one day and just appeared. Being that his father was too drunk at the time to remember when and where his son appeared, Brumm jr has no official place of birth, so we’ll say he’s from earth, but the jury is still out on that. Anyway, Brummer jr comes in as an offensive defenseman with scoring, puck handling and thankfully defense as strengths. He looks to make an impact on the blue line for his new team the Montreal Militia and we expect he will make one both on the ice and in the locker room. We heard that his father liked to walk around with his junk out in the locker room, like way too much, crossing that line of being exposed for a little too long. We’re not sure if his son has the same affliction, more on that later.

What we need to know for this story is Brumm Jr and draft buddy Karno Gronkjear both played together in Norway juniors when Brumm jr was touring the world trying to bang women from every country. They became close, maybe too close, more on that later.
Now we take a look at Karno Gronkjear, we talked about him a little in another article, noting what a fantastic name he had. Karno is from Trondheim Norway, he has a place of birth, probably a mother also, unlike Brumm Jr who again materialized out of thin air and his fathers nuts. Karno is also a defenseman, a two player defender with passing, skating and defense as strengths. Come to think of it Gronkjear and Brumm Jr would make a nice pairing in Calgary in a few seasons. Anyway, back on track. Gronk was picked up by Vancouver and should make a nice impact on their blue line this year. Karno does not expose himself in the locker room like Brumm Jr, he’s actually very self aware and respectful, something he tried to instill in Brumm Jr when they played in juniors together, but we’ve heard it hasn’t stuck quite yet.

So Gronkjear and Brumm jr playing together for a junior team in Skien Norway called the Skien Foreman. Although Brumm Jr tried to lobby to get this name changed to the Skien Foreskin, it never took though. Anyway you probably see where this story is going by now. Brummer Jr and Gronkjear formed a nice defensive pairing for this junior team and racked up quite a few points together while winning the Norwegian junior championship. Brumm Jr had 50 points in 40 games with 192 pims, including 3 decapitations. Gronkjear had 72 points in 40 games and won most sportsmanlike. Obviously these two are both talented but completely different players.

Gronkjear tried to instill some core values in Brumm that were obviously missing from his upbringing. Sometimes when a player has no home he misses out of these core values. Gronk would bring Brumm jr out for dinner after games and try to give him some lessons on how to act in public. It didn’t work so well as Brumm jr was banned from every restaurant in Oslo Norway for offenses varying from throwing food back into a waiter’s face to taking a dump on a table and marking it certified. Yes, brumm jr is a bit out of control, we commend Gronkjear on his efforts.

We heard from Gronkjear during scouting that Brumm jr, much like his father, does in fact let his junk hang out too long in the locker room and enjoys making his teammates uncomfortable. “Nobody wants to see that man, cover that shit up.” Has been said by everyone on the team at least once, but Brumm Jr takes that as a challenge, the more people complain the longer he walks around without a towel. Most players have brief seconds uncovered, Brumm has minutes and it’s been reported he sat through an entire team meeting like that, the chair had to be thrown away afterwards. Burned, then thrown away.

We’re not certain if this behavior will continue in the SMJHL and how it will effect his teammates. Most of the league is co-ed now, so Brummer will have to make some adjustments, pun intended.

So leading up to the SMJHL draft, Brumm Jr was flying under the radar but Gronkjear was a top pick. Did word get out of Brumm’s indecent exposure? We’re not sure but Brumm went 35th overall while Gronkjear went 1st overall. These two were hoping to get drafted to the same team, Vancouver had chances to unite them but chose to go another direction. Word is that both Brumm jr and Gronkjear were upset that they would not be able to play together. Even though you’d think Gronkjear would be happy to get away from Brumm Jr’s indecent exposure in the locker room, apparently he had grown used to it and the two had become special friends. They did everything together, went to all the draft parties, talked to the same teams, got thrown out of the same resturaunts, well Brumm got them tossed Gronkjear had to leave by association. This had all the makings of a dynamic defensive pairing with great chemistry on and off the ice. For now it will have to wait though as the two have become rivals post-draft...

Apparently Gronkjear tweeted after the draft, “Thrilled to be in Vancouver, glad I don’t have to look at Brumm Jr’s junk anymore.” A bit out of character for Gronkjear and suprising based on earlier info, but I guess he reached his limit. Brumm jr who had previously thought Gronkjear enjoyed looking at his junk for an hour a day took offense and tweeted back “So now you don’t like my Junk? You didn’t seem to have a problem with it last night!” Oh Snap! Shit just got real. Was there a secret relationship between these two draft darlings? It wouldn’t matter as the tweets went viral and the entire hockey world took notice. Rumors of a relationship between Brumm Jr and Gronkjear spread like wildfire across the league. Gronkjear tried to do damage control but it was too late. Brumm Jr had gotten him good. Perhaps brummer was jealous of his friend going 1st overall, perhaps he was upset he lasted until pick 35, it matters not, what matters now is the two are bitter rivals and when they meet in the first game of the season we expect a throw down of epic proportions.

Wait, it already happened in pre-season! Their first meeting on the ice since the junk shot heard round the world. First minute of the game, both players on the ice after chirping each other pre-game. Puck is dropped and they immediately skate toward each other, it’s on! Gronkjear throws his stick like a spear at Brumm’s nuts, but it’s deflected wide! The gloves drop, Brumm tries a haymaker, Gronkjear ducks, Brumm is off balance, Gronkjear punches him right in the nuts! Sweet payback! Brumm is in pain, but recovers, now they are trying to gain position, Brumm gets a couple quick jabs in on Gronk’s face but the furious Norwegian is un-fazed. Gronk lands a haymaker, Brumm is wobbly but stays up and lands a right hook to the jaw. Gronk is wobbly now, the two exchange rabid punches, just eating fists, left left left, right right right, the fans are going crazy. Chants of Hit him in the junk! Hit Him in the Junk! Roar up from the hometown Vancouver fans. Someone even throws rubber testicles on the ice, it’s a real shit show now! Brumm jr and Gronkjear are destroying each other, the refs are too scared to get involved....

Just then a song comes on from the jumbo-tron, blasted loudly through the arena, it’s the song “I will Always Love You”… Brumm and Gronkjear begin to slow down, their punches get softer, their anger turns into tears as they look into each others eyes longingly. How could they do this to each other… they were such great friends, had such a special relationship, so many memories of inapropriate junk exposure, it bonded them for eternity. Brumm dropped his hands and said I’m sorry Gronky, I love you pal. Gronkjear dropped his hands for a second then took one last shot, knocked Brumm out and said, love you too buddy.

The end.

Just having some fun, <a href='index.php?showuser=1622' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-56'>Copenhagen</a> <a href='index.php?showuser=1627' rel='nofollow' alt='profile link' class='user-tagged mgroup-3'>tweedlebrumm</a> hope you guys enjoyed this quick money grab. Tongue

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1,500 words

DOUBLE MEDIA - posted before midnight Dec.5th.

---> ParmBorg Highlights <---

#1 All-Time SHL Goal & Point Scorer
- First 2,000 TPE Player in SHL History -
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- Only 500 Goal Scorer in SHL History -
- First GM to Win 5 & 6 Challenge Cups -
Esa Anrikkanen Award - SMJHL ROY - Est. S34
Vidrik Onoprienko Award Winner - S45

Dragonite

tweedlebrumm · 12-06-2017, 12:12 AM

Lmfao

Copenhagen · 12-06-2017, 07:44 AM

:lol: WOW, What an ending! :lol:

tweedlebrumm · 12-06-2017, 12:11 PM

Quote:Originally posted by Copenhagen@Dec 6 2017, 03:44 AM
:lol: WOW, What an ending!  :lol:

suck it pillow hands

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