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***notorioustig*** · 08-27-2018, 03:00 AM

Word count: 1424

Despite being named after a type of birds as a team, each member of the Detroit Falcons roster in many ways embodies the personification and qualities of many different creatures in the animal kingdom. Just as animals have evolved to display different amounts of strength, agility, finesse, or aggression, so to have the Falcons displayed a varying set of skills and traits. The Totally Offical Spirit Animals™ of the team is as follows:

Cedric Robinson:

He's tall, he's wide, he's basically a brick wall of muscle and can stare down any shooter in the league with a frightening level of confidence. His size allows him to avoid problems in the first place without even having to move. Robinson's spirit animal is unquestionably... an elephant.

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Usually passive, he is also fiercely protective of his crease and just like the elephant in this image, will deck you if you fuck with him. Seriously, he once two-handed a guy in the ankles just because he wanted to set the tone. He may seem like a gentle giant most of the time, but watch yourself.

Marcel Puhringer:

Puhringer's game is built on power and physical play, but his puck skills offer a touch of finesse as well. He's got the size and power to impose his will on his opponents, and the skills to make them constantly wary of his presence. Puhringer's spirit animal is... a panther.

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A panther will stalk it's prey and overpower it in any number of ways, using its agility to prevent escape and its raw strength to kill with little effort. Puhringer will glide across the ice silently before launching himself into an opponent. The comparison basically writes itself.

David Fantobens:

Fantobens is a shifty scoring forward who excels on disappearing from coverage and slipping into scoring areas without being seen. Quick with good hands and a lethal shot, he's always ready to strike when he can find an opportune moment. Fantobens' spirit animal is... a cobra.

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Just like a snake in the grass, he will wait until the time, space, and opportunity to use his shot appears, and before you know it, the puck is in the back of the net. Just as a cobra strike happens faster than the eye can see, the puck is on and off his stick before goalies even register any of it. If you don't have eyes on him, you're as good as dead.

Dank Boija:

Short but stocky, Boija is a lot of power packed into a short frame. He's completely fearless, and embraces his role as a powerhouse that doesn't have the size advantage of some of the others in his role. His strength is off the charts and his willingness to do the grunt work follows with it. Boija's spirit animal is... a wild boar

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Just like a boar, Boija will bowl you over and smile while he shreds your whole team to pieces. An absolute wrecking ball, there are persistent rumours that he's never learned how to stop on skates - he just uses the bodies of the other team and the boards to slow himself down. If you're on the ice with him, it's not a matter of if you'll be hit, only when.

Eero Makinen:

Makinen is a playmaker, through and through. He creates chances through slick puck skills, astute passing, and elite vision. Because of his ability to build and create out of limited time and space, Makinen's spirit animal is... a beaver.

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Just like a beaver, Makinen is a cooperative team player who utilizes his teammates effectively to make great things happen. He's slippery and has the vision to see things developing ahead of time. As a beaver creates a house on the river, so to does Makinen make plays into the house that is the slot.

Wolfhard Richter:

Richter's most famous weapon is a cannon of a shot from the point, in addition to electrifying stick skills and good speed from the back-end. He's capable of making the puck dance and possesses the same agility himself. Despite his small frame, he is, in many ways, explosive. Richter's spirit animal is... a peregrine falcon.

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Just like Richter's slapshot, a peregrine falcon can move faster than any other animal on earth when dive-bombing their prey as if they've been shot out of a cannon. His ability to stickhandle and skate around opponents is like watching a bird of prey key in on a target. Additionally, the fact that this Detroit Falcon's spirit animal is a falcon is no coincidence - few teammates in the sport are as beloved and exemplify their team's values like Richter.

Marc Palicka:

Palicka is a two-way centre with good speed and skill, in addition to excellent faceoff ability. As well, he combines these things with a wide 6'2 frame that gives him enough power to compete in intense physical battles while also being light enough to avoid weighing him down. Palicka's spirit animal is... an elk.

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A heated faceoff is reminiscent of two male elks fighting with the use of their antlers, head to head and grinding against each other. Palicka takes pride in winning these battles more than using his talent to score points. As well, an elk's call is called a bugle. A little known fact about Palicka is that he's an accomplished horn player - usually of his own horn.

Aleksandria Aleksandrovia:

Aleksandrovia is a beanpole of a defenseman, with the reach to effectively defend against skill and power forwards. That lankiness also leads to a great deal of incoordination, and it's unknown if it's a frame that can be effectively filled out. Aleksandrovia's spirit animal is... a giraffe.

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Having such an immense reach is a benefit to any defenseman, just like the long neck of a giraffe can be used for feeding and for defense. As well, they are inherently awkward creatures due to their proportions. While Aleksandrovia's frame may fill out to be less gangly, for now, a giraffe is perfectly representative.

Tig Murphy:

Murphy's playstyle is like if you shook up a jar of bees. He's high-octane, all the time, and uses his skating to create plays all over the ice and on both sides of the puck. His speed and passing ability set him apart as an offensive producer, but his energetic style can get him into trouble. Murphy's spirit animal is... Tigger from Winnie the Pooh.

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Just like Tigger, Murphy is like a wind-up toy that's always wound up, constantly looking to press the attack even when his team does not have the puck. He's constantly looking to pounce on loose pucks and enjoys the adventure of carrying the puck into the opposing end. All the same, this rambunctious style can get him in trouble with the teammates that have to cover for him and coaches who wished he wasn't jumping on every sliver of opportunity. Murphy's skillset is fairly unique - not only was it his childhood nickname, but just like Tigger, the most wonderful thing is that he's the only one.

Hippo Passamus:

Passamus stands just 5'6, but weighs an astonishing 290 pounds of pure muscle. In scientific terms, he is referred to as an "absolute unit." Many onlookers describe feelings of awe at the sight of this lad, and he provides a strong two-way game that makes use of his low centre of gravity to win puck battles all over the ice. I know what you're thinking, this spirit animal is obvious - Passamus' spirit animal is... a honey badger.

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A honey badger is small, but immensely powerful, just like Passamus. In addition, he simply just does not give a shit. He's a body that's essentially just a ball of straight up muscle and he sees nothing wrong with launching himself into a scrum to shake a puck loose. He has no fear, and no regard for the well-being of anybody who gets caught in his path.

Tobias Viklund

Viklund is a classic example of the big man with skill. Despite his large frame, he is capable of reaching speeds and taking corners that take defenders by surprise. Seeing a big body move with the puck the way he does is a rare sight indeed. Viklund's spirit animal is... a hippopotamus.

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Hippos are deceptively fast, leading to many fatalities every year. In Viklund's case, underestimating his speed and and ability to bulldoze his way to the net is a recipe for disaster as well. He can beat you through skating or with his size, making the prospect of a fully grown Viklund a terrifying thought for defensemen everywhere.