(741 Word Count)

What a month for Zarley Zalapski! This kid has been riding high every since he was drafted to Montreal for Season 47 of the SMJHL. It seems that an avid hockey enthusiast, Bob Mckenzie, was watching the SMJHL Tonight show and seen that Mr. Zalapski had mentioned that his next dream would be to do something with Elsinore Beer. Well it didn't take long for the Mckenzie Brothers to get in contact with Zarley, Eh!? Seeing that they have recently inherited the brewery and they love hockey they couldn't think of a better spokesperson for the revamp of the adult beverage. Trying to talk to Bob and Doug was like trying to understand the Russian Language to this reporter. They seemed more focused on pounding down the brews and watching out for lions. Yes lions! They were doing a new commercial and had a live lion in the studio! I was a bit nervous but they told me that hoser was more harmless than a kitten. I took their word for it and they offered me a brown bottle. I was working but figured I better accept or I might be found at the bottom of the hill, swimming in the harbor. For those of you who know the brothers history, you know what I am talking about. For the rest of you, you will just have to go to your local search engine and look it up. I know, I know... that just takes too long!  I noticed the brown bottle was lighter than usual and didn't have a cap but I thought they opened it for me. As it turned out there was a little mouse in the bottle. They apologized and took it back. They said they didn't want me to claim a Free two four and that if I wanted a two four, I had to pay the going rate like everyone else.

So it seems these brothers felt like they got the short end of the stick in the contract with Zarley. It appears that he signed off with the company to do a couple of commercials for a lifetime supply of beer and peanuts! Wow! I thought. What a great deal! I was trying to find the angle on how to get that deal for myself. It shouldn't be too hard to fool these two but it would take serious effort I imagined. We talked about the upcoming beer convention in Las Vegas and I figured they would attend. They told me that they wouldn't to my surprise. When confronted about the issue they said that they had plenty of beer right here at the brewery and felt no need to go over 2000 miles just to get the same beer they can right here. They basically just called me a knob and laughed. At least that is what it sounded like. I was unable to confirm that statement and Doug kinda mumbled it so please don't quote me on that. 

The boys were pretty nice to me as I headed out to the car. It seemed they had one of their workers fill my vehicle up to the brim with Two Fours and I could barely get into drive. I thanked them and waved goodbye. When I caught up with Zarley a few hours later he was grinning from ear to ear. He laughed and asked me in his Russian accent if I was going to have enough room for all those Two Fours? I told him that I could manage and just wanted to ask him a few questions about this deal. Zarley said it was amazing! He got a phone call early in the morning from Bob or maybe it was Doug. He didn't know for sure but he said he would do it. He told me he didn't even ask for terms or consider money, beer or nuts. He just said he would do it and they met at a local tavern. It only took the time for all three of them to have a beer and laugh while Zarley signed a bar napkin stating that all he wanted was Free Beer and Nuts for the rest of his life. Bob shook his hand and Zarley signed. According to Zarley he has to give them a couple of free passes to some Militia games but he figured he could work that out.

Hey you hoser, great read!  

Glad Bob and Doug are fans of the SMJHL!