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**Lime** · 02-21-2020, 08:20 AM

Welcome back to our series on the Ancient SHL.

The Ancient SHL lasted many thousands of years. Of course this means over time the rivalries become very fierce. During the latter part of the S300s there was a legendary beef between the Rock City Clubbers and the Big Valley Bears. We have uncovered a record of one of these derbys and are excited to share it here with you. The following translation takes some liberties so that a modern audience may better understand it.

Day 92 of Cold Season

AT

ROCK CITY CLUBBERS BIG VALLEY BEARS

5 - 6

Hey guys it's Nerk Gharker and welcome back to Nerk's Post Game Show. This was a big one for sure as the the rivalry between these two titans of the valley has been boiling over - and if things hold we are set to see one dungbeetle of a playoffs series. The Clubbers are sitting at a comfortable 65-20-7 record and seem nigh unbeatable to everyone but their rivals. The Bears, despite a worse 40-33-19 record seem to have the Clubbers' number, sweeping them in their series this year. That is, except for the one tie in which both teams elected to duke it out for the entire day while the puck sat still.

SUN UP

There's a red hot start to the game as Rock City tries to rock the confidence of Big Valley by putting up two goals within the first hour. The first is a one timer by Fridrark from about thirty feet away that crept towards the snow pile - unguarded by Bear goalie Ghuh who was taking a dump in a hole off to the side. Bears Coach D remarks that he definitely asked him if he needed to go before the game started and the goalie said no. In fact I'm not sure Big Valley was aware the game had even started, as the next goal came just a minute later as Onorv walked it in. Of course he was fighting off Bears players on his way there.

There would be another hour or so before a third goal would come for the Clubbers. Quick passing from the front ten would confuse the Bears defense and they would lose track of who actually had the puck. The shot was nearly saved by Ghuh but frankly he's just really bad and should have easily saved it. This third goal would ignite a fire under the Bears as they would start wholesale beating the living snot out of Clubbers players. In the process they would score a beautiful goal from Terc that would go unnoticed by most. By midday break, nearly half the Clubbers were unable to play from injury, while the Bears had lost only a few men.

SCORE: 3-1 CLUBBERS

MIDDAY

After midday break the Bears continued their momentum to score two more in a row, both from a Goorboll in fine form. The game is tied 3-3 halfway through. The lack of manpower is certainly effecting Rock City. More ten man brawls would break out between the two sides, but the Clubbers would bring out their biggest men and the fighting was tilted in their favor. There are a good twenty five Clubbers and a handful more than that worth of Bears still in the game, but the fighting is wearing them out. Jirzab would find snow for Rock City and give them a shaky one goal lead heading into the sun down break.

SCORE: 4-3 CLUBBERS

SUN DOWN

Big Valley opened up the final third of the game with a controversial hattrick goal from Goorboll. In fact I hesitate to say it was part of the final third because technically Goorboll just ran through at the end of the break and threw the puck into the Rock City snow pile. Since more Bears were still standing than Clubbers, the vote to let the goal stand went in favor of the Bears. It is now tied once again, this time 4 all. Rock City is getting restless, determined not to be swept in the series. Almost all of the players were now engaged in fisticuffs, which allowed Onorv to walk in his second for the Clubbers. Of course he was fighting off bears on his way there.

I mean bears with the little b there. Somehow in the commotion a few actual bears wandered onto the ice and started attacking Clubbers players. Despite his valiant effort, Onorv would be eaten shortly after scoring his goal. Players on both sides fled from the bears for a few hours. They slowly trickled back onto the ice just before it was too dark to continue playing. Left standing were twelve Bears (players this time) and three Clubbers. Electing not to be murdered, the remaining three clubbers allowed Sulfurgold of the Bears to score two unanswered goals and come home with the win.

FINAL SCORE: 6-5 BEARS

3 STARS

⭐ - Khoh Goorboll (BVB)

⭐⭐ - Burlok Sulfurgold (BVB)

⭐⭐⭐ - Rhozged Terc (BVB)

[840 Words]

I will of course keep you guys updated if I find anything new.

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