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Leoben · 03-12-2020, 07:36 PM

890 Words, ready for grading

Those of us who have been around for more than a season are pretty familiar with how the draft works. GMs have the hard task of deciding who to draft. This becomes even more difficult during Reddit drafts where there will always be new stars, but plenty of duds too. They are a much bigger gamble. Most drafts, however, do have certain archetypes that will always be filled. I’ll break down all the ones that I am familiar with but feel free to add your own.

The Go-Getter – This guy comes in, usually from Reddit, and he is on it! From day one he is sucking up every last drop of TPE he can get. He is studying drafts, asking GMs who they will pick for mocks, studying last season’s standings so he maxes out his predictions, and many other things. This guy will probably be near the top of most boards, possibly first overall. But, he’s a wildcard. He could turn into a star, he could burn out, or he could just fade away into obscurity. Can also be a multi (see below).

The SMJHL Lifer – This guy will race to junior cap and probably be a high pick, last first round or early second, but then he’ll stall, and it would seem intentionally. This person has no desire to play in the SHL but will still want to be selected early or will take it personally. Can also be a Ghost (see below).

The Ghost – This guy will probably go in the first two rounds and show a lot of promise. He will be a solid earner and a good presence in whatever locker room he is in. Then one day, he’ll just disappear. He could have died, he could have just not enjoyed the site, he might have hated his team, but then he’s gone without any kind of warning. He just packed his stuff up and left in the middle of the night.

The Multi – Some people try it for different reasons. Most of them probably get caught. But for whatever reason, people create multiple players or accounts. If you draft one of them, that’s a shame.

The Boomer – According to some, anyone over the age of thirty is a boomer. Probably a little on the conservative side, might not agree with all the views that the younger crowd do, and might be ostracized. May be a Racist, but probably not.

The Rager – This guy will do all he is asked and put in as much effort is possible. But for whatever reason, he still doesn’t get drafted where he thinks he deserves to be drafted. Rather than take it and move on, he goes absolutely mental and initiates attacks on the site. May or may not be a Racist.

The Racist – This guy is pretty good. Could be an excellent player and a huge asset to the team. He could go months and just be a perfectly normal teammate and then he just makes some off the wall comment and goes on a racist rant. He gets TD’d and then he’s done.

The Steal – This guy might be a bit lazy or unmotivated or just a weird guy. His draft stock tanks for whatever reason but he ends up being a nice producer, slowly progressing.

The Musician/Artist – This person will share lyrics or songs or projects they are working on (not you Logan) in the Locker Room. They might get feedback or just a pitiful “that’s cool” from some of their teammates but it’s usually just awkward.

The SJW – I’m not even sure if this is still what they go by but this is the person who is ready to pounce the first time you say anything out of line. They could be a stellar player too so it’s all good. May or may not be a Musician/Artist.

The Returner – This guy is coming back from a break. He was probably a top prospect or draft pick in the past but didn’t work out for a number of reasons from real life to burnout. But when he comes back, his stock will go right back to the top. He will be taken off the board early and be a good player for a season or two before fading away again. May or may not also be a Go-Getter, Ghost, or SMJHL Lifer.

The Re-Creater – This guy can’t decide on a player and may go through four players in the amount of time some people go through four. He just burns out constantly or thinks he can never catch up. May or may not be a Returner.

The Troll-Face Guy – This guy is fine. He’s a good player and a good hand but 95% of his LR contributions are memes and troll faces. Like I said he’s fine, whatever.

The Advanced Stats Guy – This guy is really good with data and spreadsheets. Usually a solid prospect too. He can project wins and losses for each team for the next several seasons and just pull some insane stats out of nowhere. It is highly impressive stuff. May or may not be a Go-Getter.

I have left out a handful, I’m sure.

**Lime** · 03-12-2020, 08:12 PM

03-12-2020, 07:36 PMLeoben Wrote: The Rager – This guy will do all he is asked and put in as much effort is possible. But for whatever reason, he still doesn’t get drafted where he thinks he deserves to be drafted. Rather than take it and move on, he goes absolutely mental and initiates attacks on the site. May or may not be a Racist.

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