To Jon, the scariest part about being a goalie wasn’t the small, rubber disks being shot at him at over ninety miles an hour. He had padding and so far, close to a lifetime of training to block the pucks coming at him. Sure there was a moment of adrenaline and anxiety as the puck entered the zone and opponents set up a play or drove to the net, but those events would not keep him up at night. No, the moments that kept him from sleeping tonight were not the pucks in front, but the pucks behind. When a shot came at him and he didn’t feel anything at all, but maybe a grazing of his jersey or glove. And then all the other skaters around him would slow and he’d look behind and see a puck behind him. 

Now, even when he was on the eve of taking the next step in his hockey career, he was still thinking about the scrimmage the other day. Prior to the draft, he was invited to participate in some camps with the Vancouver Whalers, one of the Junior teams in the league. The Whalers had some talent and were having a good season, having made the playoffs and finishing in the middle of the pack in the league in terms of points. To get a test of the next stage was too good to pass up, and Jon leaped at the opportunity. 

He had never been to Vancouver when he first arrived. The city was beautiful, sitting on a strait that led to the Pacific Ocean. It took him a little bit to get his bearings, but once he figured out how the city flowed and where the Whalers practiced he got his feet under him. The Pacific Coliseum was an older building, but steeped in history. Ten championship banners hung from the rafters to go along with the conference championships and retired numbers that encircled the upper decks. The other veteran skaters on the Whalers like Dee Centerman had little reaction to everything going on, but Jon was still trying to take it all in, at least until the practices started. 

Jon was an unrostered draftable free agent. A very long way of describing his status as someone invited to camp, but not actually part of the Whalers, at least not yet. The draft would happen later in the offseason, but for now he would take advantage of his first taste of the game. The actual Whaler goaltenders, Name Redacted and Zack Attack, took the majority of the reps, but Jon still was able to observe and help take part in a few drills when needed. The first thing that struck young Jon St. Ark was the speed of the game. He had been playing since he was a child and had excelled through every level, but the speed of this game was impressive. He had been in attendance at professional games before, of course, but this was different when the skaters and the action were coming at you. 

Little things jumped out at him, even when he was sitting on the bench. The first thing was the speed and accuracy of the passes. For a few of the centers and wingers, the puck seemed to have rockets attached to it as it slid across the ice, tape to tape. In the other levels, the puck took a much lazier track, giving him plenty of time to reposition as needed. But as he watched from afar, he tried to envision how he would move within his crease to block a shot or to get into position. He would have to take off earlier, move smoother, and probably leave a couple more opportunities to chance. 

The skaters themselves were faster too. They covered ice much quicker and their acceleration was impressive. On one drill, practicing some fast breaks, he watched as one skater from the fourth line went from standing still at the blue line to the opposite goal quicker than some of the top liners he had seen in the lower leagues. Coupled with the faster shots, Jon realized he was going to have to get used to an entirely different kind of hockey than he was used to. The two on ones would be sudden and turnovers in the defensive zone especially disastrous. Given the speed, though, Jon was starting to think about how to adjust his technique, or at least focus on some different strategies. Rebound control, particularly, would be critical here, he thought. 

Finally it was time to run a few scrimmages and real game situations in practice. They were working at both ends of the ice, but the top lines and defensive pairings, as well as Name Redacted, were all at the other end. Jon focused all his attention there, as they set up for a standard five on five situation, with the puck starting with the defenders at the blue line. Jon watched as the defensive pair rotated and passed the puck back and forth between each other, while the forwards jockeyed for position near the goal. The movements were crisp and well practiced. One of the defensemen reared back and loosed a slap shot but was blocked by a forward. Jon could hear the thud of the impact from his spot on the bench but the forward got up without any sign of distress. 

The puck ricocheted and was cleared by the defenders, and the drill reset after some coaching. This time, Jon focused on the movement of the defenders instead of those trying to score. While the puck was moved and rotated by the offenders, the defenders rotated in their own little circles, careful to cut off both passing and shooting lanes. If there was a gap, it was to the corner or some hotly contested area that probably wouldn’t lead to a shot. In front of the goal, two players pushed each other for position. Even from here Jon could see that they weren’t putting everything into it, but it simulated the situation well enough. This time the defenders were able to move the puck to the right circle, and were trying to get it into the slot but the lane was closed. One of the forwards tried a wrist shot, but Redacted easily deflected it with his blocker into the corner. Two players competed for the puck at the boards, but the one of the coaches blew the whistle and the play reset. 

After the reset, Jon focused on the Whalers’ goalie in net. Redacted had been on the team for a few seasons now, and should be getting called up to the main SHL after the playoffs. Zack Attack was the heir apparent, but Jon knew nothing was certain, especially at this level. Redacted was calm, precise in net. There was no wasted movement as he readjusted to the puck being moved from side to side near the blue line. The offenders tried an aggressive play, with a forward darting to the slot to receive a pass. The pass was slightly off line though, and Redacted was able to poke it away and out of danger. On the next reset, a slap shot made it all the way to Redacted but he flashed out a glove and caught it easily. After that, the tactics changed to a dump and chase strategy. One of the offenders lifted the puck into the corner and a few skaters went to retrieve it. The action took place behind the net, and Jon watched as Redacted hugged the near post while trying to both look behind him and in the lot ahead. The puck finally came free and a crisp pass put it on the stick of an offender just a few feet from the crease. He promptly buried it and a whistle blew. 

On and on they ran these set ups and plays, each side trying to get the better of the other and take advantage of some errant tendencies. For example, one of the defensemen playing offense in this drill liked to cheat down closer to the circles, leaving an exploitable gap and a few breakways after some blocked passes. On the other side, one of the forwards playing on the defensive side was weak on the puck when pressed up against the boards, and he was pressed on that point more than a few times. Finally, Jon knew it was getting close to the end of practice when he heard his name called. 

“St. Ark, you’re in!” One of the coaches yelled, pointing at him first and then at the goal. 

Redacted stood up and grabbed his water bottle from the top of the net before making his way over to the bench. Jon was momentarily stunned, but recovered and grabbed his mask and equipment. Making his way to the goal, he passed Redacted who gave him a thumbs up. As Jon approached the net, the standard six feet by four feet net looked impossibly large to him. He slid into the crease, stretched a little, before getting into his set position and the whistle blew. 

As before, the puck passed back and forth between the skaters at the blue line. Jon tried to watch it through the screen in front of him, which was ever shifting and moving. The passing seemed lazy, slow, until a sudden and decisive puck movement to the right circle, then back across to the left circle and a shot. Jon felt the Puck graze his glove but go into the back of the net, followed by another whistle. One of the Whalers’ players tapped Jon on the pads and nodded in a show of support, but it did not do much to make him feel better. 

On the next play, he followed the puck better but his defense stepped up and blocked the shot before it even got to him. Jon could not be entirely sure, but he felt fairly confident he was in the right position to block that shot from the point. On the next sequence, the offenders once again attempted their dump and chase strategy into the corner. Jon hugged the corner of the net and followed the puck as it rattled around the boards. As he watched two skaters fight for control of the puck, he glanced out of his peripheral vision as an opponent skated up closer to the slot, ready to receive the pass. One of Jon’s allies moved up to help cut down the angle, but the puck came out quicker than expected, right in the direction of the opponent. 

Jon pushed off the post and got into position. The opponent skater tried to bury it between Jon’s legs, the dreaded five-hole, but Jon’s stick and pads were in position and the puck was stopped and quickly covered by the rookie goaltender. A few more taps on his pads from his teammates, and the teams reset once again. The five more plays, with Jon and the defense stopping three of those. From watching Redacted in goal, Jon knew that wasn’t the right ration for something like this, and he started to think about his mistakes and missteps with increasing frequency. A coach blew a whistle and called for another break and Jon stood up in the goal, removing his mask for a much-needed drink of water. 

With his back turned, Jon didn’t notice as one of the coaches came over to him. “You look good out there, St. Ark,” the coach began. 

Jon turned, wiping the sweat off his face with his sleeve. “Thanks coach, not sure I agree,” he responded. 

The coach shrugged. “You’re thinking too much out there. If the shots are quick, you’re in the right place and with the right instincts. But if they give you some time to think about it, your reaction is delayed.” 

Jon nodded, thinking about the scenarios. He did seem to struggle more with the shots from the circles or the point. “So the classic ‘relax’ advice then?” Jon asked. 

The coach smiled. “Something like that. You’ve got the skills to compete at this level, let the play happen and think about where you want the puck to go after you block it. Let’s see it on the last set of the day,” the coach said, skating away and signalling to the other coaches. 

Taking a deep breath, Jon put his helmet and blocker back on and reset his position in the net. Think less, should be easy enough he thought. He visualized Redacted when he was in goal, blocking shots and sending them either to the corners or right in front of him for the easy cover. In the past, Jon had a little more time to think on and consider every shot since the game was so much slower. Now, he had to trust his body and hope his hours and hours of practice tuned his reflexes to where he needed them to be.  

It was late in the day, and Jon could tell the skaters were getting tired. Their movements were less crisp, less creative. Still, following the puck took all his concentration as he sought to look over the screen in front of him. He could see the one-timer developing in front of him, as one of the opponents at the blue line cheated forward slightly to a patch of open ice. The opponent wound up as the puck came back to him and fired a blast Jon. It was coming in glove side, and Jon snatched it out of the air cleanly. A whistle blew, and a coach came over to retrieve the puck. The shot was a little telegraphed, but still had some heat on it and was meant to test the young goalie. 

On the next set, the opponents tried to send the puck into the slot, but it was easily broken up and turned over to Jon’s allies. The next sequence started, and the offenders quickly changed tactics. They brought the puck down to the left circle, then back to the blue line, then the right circle again. They were attempting longer, more aggressive passes in order to spread the defense apart. An opponent fired a shot from the left circle which hit the skater in front of Jon tried to deflect into the goal. Jon flashed a pad and the puck ricocheted into the corner, off to be retrieved by one of the defenders. 

Confidence increasing, Jon came out of the crease slightly on the next reset, taking a more aggressive position. In front of him, the puck cycled around and Jon noticed an issue. The defenders had spread to the boards or the circles, leaving a huge gap in front of him. One of the opponents saw that and took the puck and charged forward. Jon blocked the initial wrist shot as the opponent tried to go high, but he could do little to block the rebound as it bounced in front of him. Too far to cover, Jon had to reset as the same opponent shooter came upon the puck and tried to poke it into the goal. Jon dropped to the butterfly position in preparation. The opponent had a bit too much momentum however, and careened into Jon with some force, puck still on his stick. 

“Hey sorry, are you okay man?” The skater asked, tangled up with Jon in the crease of the goal. 

“Yeah, no worries,” Jon responded, getting up. He looked behind and saw that the Puck was still on the right side of the red goal line, meaning Jon had blocked the shot. 

“Nice save,” the skater said, tapping Jon’s pads as he glided away. One of the coaches signaled to the others, and the whistle blew twice in short succession, signifying the end of the day. Jon realized exactly how tired he was at that very moment, his adrenaline long since having run out. Skating back towards the bench, Redacted flashed Jon a thumb’s up as he got closer. 

“You looked good out there,” Redacted said as skaters started filing past to head to the locker room. 

“Thanks, I felt better the more reps I got,” Jon responded. 

“That’s the secret, just gotta get out there as much as possible. Let the guys at the other end know if you want more reps, I’m sure Zack needs a break now and then.”

“I will, I appreciate it,” Jon said. 

That night, Jon relaxed at his hotel room and replayed the events of the day. He had gone from sitting on the bench, to taking part in a few drills, and then to competing in a simulated game situation. It was true, the longer he was on the ice, the easier it was to ignore the banners and history in the building. The speed became less overwhelming, and the crisp passes were no longer distracting or a surprise. He could simply follow the action and respond to it just as he always had in every other level of play. He had made more than a few mistakes, sure. Either misjudging certain angles that his opponents could reasonably find, or misplaying a rebound to the wrong direction. As Redacted mentioned, it was going to require more work and practice to fill those gaps, but he was confident that he would be able to get there. 

Vancouver was being good to him, but Jon knew that this wasn’t going to be his permanent home. In a few months, he would be entered into the draft with the other league prospects, some of whom would be goalies, and he would be drafted to a team for potentially the next four seasons. That team might be Vancouver, but it just as easily could be Colorado, Quebec, or more than a handful of other teams with a need at goalie. Still, he would have to approach that situation the same way he had here today in practice. Let things develop, let the puck come to him, and then trust himself to make the right decision. Regardless, his teammates would be there to help out and assist as much as they possibly could, and he knew he was going to need their help if he was to succeed at this level. 

As exhausting slowly overtook him in the hotel, Jon thought not of the handful of pucks that had ended up behind him during practice, but rather the ones he stopped. He had made a number of great plays, and now all he had to do was keep making them. It was easier said than done, but certainly would help him sleep at night. Today he was a prospect goalie, but before he knew it he’d have a number and team of his own. He couldn’t wait.