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pauadrian · 08-26-2021, 03:11 AM

(1919 words, first article)

First off, hello all you fine SHL people! My name is Pau and some of you may know me from leagues such as SCFSL, PBE or even ISFL. This is my first time in the league which I hope to enjoy as I have been looking for a soccer sim league to which I have yet to find. So ice soccer will have to do I guess, oh and I was lucky enough to be given a shot by Evok yesterday in the undrafted free agents thing you guys have which I actually found quite cool. First off sorry to all those GMs I did disappoint by not going to their teams but it was a really tough decision and I had to choose friends over everything to keep me active here and enjoy my first time here. I have no doubt I will be making more friendos as I spend more time here and look forward to seeing you all later down the road or even in this very same thread. I have honestly found it kind of hard to do tons of writing in both ISFL and PBE but after giving it a shot already once in PBE I think I'm just going to smack talk in character to everyone here and hope it gives me enough money to push towards some sort of relevancy. So I hope nobody gets too offended by my in character wrestling/smack talk gimmick or schtick whatever you want to call it. Just remember this is all not real and I do not mean anything I say in character so please feel free to enjoy my introduction to Alex Kidd down below. Enjoy!

*It's pre-game here in this juniors league preseason game here in Quebec City as season 62 preparation is about to begin here for Citadelles/ A countdown starts to appear in the big board of Quebec City Citadelles as the crowd start to cheer for seemingly no reason other than just assuming that their home team's roster is about to come out to greet them and play some ice hockey in front of this 18 grand capacity crowd. Suddenly the clock starting at 10 keeps going lower and lower 9...8...7...6...5. the crowd is counting down with the clock as well..4...3...2...1....The crowd gasps and sits in silence as the clock runs out, the screen goes dark. The arena has now gone completely pitch black and just silence looms over the crowd. After a small delay you hear a big pop as fireworks come out in display through the entrance tunnel. The Quebec team who was already on the rink gets startled and you can even see their general manager fall out of just shock. Suddenly nothing happens, but wait as the pitch dark arena lights still do not come out the big screen for the capacity crowd suddenly has video and it's of crpytic messages spouting some catchphrases such as "The REAL IT Factor" "The King is Back" "Former World Champ" "Member of the Clique". A guitar riff starts playing and some of the crowd act confused but there is a small minority who suddenly start to cheer as you hear a loud bang and fireworks go out again just completely blinding everyone as the smoke clears and the big screen spells out in big bold capital letters the word "Kidd". The Good Life a song sung by Three Days Grace and a song that can be played on any of your favorite music streaming sites is playing around the arena. This is Alex Kidd's theme song as fans are in absolute shock as this is the return of a wrestler Alex Kidd, the newest member of the minor Quebec City Citadelles. But wait where is this guy coming from? Why all the big showmanship and the big tease, who is he? Well Alex Kidd is a former professional wrestler for the Extreme Wrestling Association where he held their world championship for over 1 year and remaining undefeated throughout that time. But why is he here? What business does he have in Canada, in Quebec City of all places? Why a hockey rink? Isn't this dude a wrestler? How did he even get to tryout for this team? Well let's find out. As he stands in the tunnel with his back against the rink facing the inside of the tunnel with his arms stretched and he turns around to see the excited crowd. He walks around and just struts with his long black hair and a microphone in his hand getting ready to clearly speak. As you new people to this man, to this character are about to realize just how cockey this man can be."

Alex Kidd: Welcome to the Alex "King" Kidd show! *Alex Kidd just starts blowing kisses as he stops himself again to just look around with just an evil grin on his face* And I am the newest and brightest face of the Simulation Hockey League. I am the franchise player you have all been waiting for. You see, I have been quite out of this sports game for a while. In fact, I have never even played this sport. I have been retired from professional wrestling for a good few years now and so it may come as a surprise to you but I am actually inspired by someone else, his name may seem familiar. Him being Bobby Roode, you see Bobby Roode is currently one of the hottest prospects in the Pro Baseball Experience but he has turned his eye to wrestling where he is garnering great success. Bobby Roode is one of my biggest idols so why not do the inverted version of his story. After I have dominated the wrestling ring, I think I am ready to dominate the hockey RINK. *The crowd starts to cheer for Kidd as he stops himself* And for those of you who have been living under a rock or have just been struggling to get wifi out of this shitty stadium to google me. I am Alex Kidd, your new hero, the new face of the franchise here in Quebec City after signing here to prove a point. And that's to prove that not only can I go in the ring but also in a different sport altogether. Tonight is going to be a freaking party at the end of tonight's game and I am going to show you all why I am one of the most charismatic must see sportsmen to ever grace this planet. The best showman to ever grace your television screen, mobile device or for you poor bastards a computer monitor streaming on some sketchy illegal russian website because you're too cheap to get the Simulation Hockey League subscription to watch all your favorite junior and majors games.

And for those of you who DO know me and yeah I am talking directly to you mr Jon Forty One. Remember me? All hail Alex "King" Kidd. Now when you think of a new era, you think of an action that started it all, an action that can change the course of history. Well I am the change and I am the new era. This is the action that changed the history of the Simulation Hockey League forever. A new era is what a league of this magnitude and history needs. What was once a captivating and history making league has now been surpassed or matched by leagues such as Super Casual Football Sim League. The Pro Baseball Experience, the International Football Sim League. This league is so desperate for new people to even play the sport that it's making constant plans to hold monthly press conferences, meetings, gatherings whatever you want to call it with other leagues! This league is so desperate to cling on to relevance that I had to come in here from a completely different sport to spice things up. The drama between the players isn't even that great! This league has snooze fests of drama and the fighting in the rink is just boring. This league needs me, it's knight in shining armor. This league needs the leader of the selfish generation! Alex Kidd. This is why I am here, Alex Kidd has come to save the Simulation Hockey League with a man of my skill, charisma and gorgeous looks I will propel to this league to stardom once again! Now let's get to the facts, all of you here have never cheered so much in your life for any Quebec City game in your life. In fact I can guarantee that some of you didn't even buy a damn ticket. You were probably given it to someone in the parking lot giving out tickets to people for free so the minors doesn't look bad on tv. To be honest I get it, yeah I get why you don't care, why would you? In fact I think that some of you are probably even embarrassed to be here. Some of you in this crowd right now are probably embarrassed to still watch a stinking irrelevant sport like this one. I mean it's not even the 3rd best sport in North America! In fact it's a knockoff in soccer except with more ice and fighting! *the crowd suddenly goes from cheering to realizing Alex Kidd is insulting them and starts to boo louder and louder by the second*

Even I am embarrassed for you and I do not blame you one bit. You people have had to deal with a bunch of uninteresting, untalented, mediocre waste of space sports athletes that call themselves hockey players. No wonder you guys don't buy tickets to games! You could care less about any of those idiots out there in the visiting locker room and quite frankly those garbage Quebec City players in the rink and yes I am even talking about the lack of charisma hacks in the majors too. You people have been lead to believe that mediocrity is excellence, no Alex Kidd is excellence baby. Now for the first time in the Simulation Hockey League history, you have a man who can not only play in the rink but also entertain you. You have a man who is good enough for you. You have a man who can make you jump off your seats, raise your filthy fat little heads and scream GO KIDD GO, GO KIDD GO. *Suddenly the crowd starts chanting exactly that as they get up off their seats and start pumping their fists repeating the catchphrase almost as if Alex Kidd had control over them despite the insults* THANK YOU. This new era has arrived in SHL The Alex Kidd era is here. Now that I am here, from the front office idiots to all the amateur Alex Kidd wannabees in the leagues to you pathetic buffoons in the crowd to even the idiotic general managers who think they know better than me....All of you will reap the benefits and the Simulation Hockey League will never, ever be the same again