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LordBirdman · 05-04-2022, 03:58 PM

Sven Svenson took recently drafted Pride first rounder Ben Waters Jr. (@Waters) on a pleasant trip to see the city of San Francisco. Svenson, now on the back 9 of his career, took it upon himself to show the young and impressionable Waters the city he will eventually be living in and playing for.

The day began with Sven picking up Waters at the Holiday Inn on his purple SFP branded tandem bicycle. Waters carelessly didn’t bring a helmet but Sven had an extra full cover motorcycle helmet just in case. The two took off on their merry way, starting the ride with a long twisting and turning ride down a dangerously steep hill. Waters only fell off the back of the bicycle one and a half times.

The pair then had a grueling uphill ride. Sven showed off the strength of his veteran thighs while Waters looked on enviously. Half way up the hill, Sven pulled off and parked the tandem bicycle to stop for ice cream. He paid the local homeless man $150 dollars, the standard rate these days, to make sure no more than two homeless people defecated on the bike. Sven got a medium sized chocolate-vanilla swirl soft serve while Waters got a large mint chocolate chip ice cream in a waffle cone. “This kid has a taste for the finer things in life”, Sven thought to himself as the two watched a pair of pigeons make love in the alley.

After the pit stop for some well deserve ice cream, Sven and Waters cleaned the feces off the tandem bike and got pedaling. Their next stop was the San Francisco Zoo to see the lions. Waters was unaware that the ice cream was microdosed with LSD, as is customary in San Francisco, and after another forty five minutes of hard pedaling was beginning to feel some type of way as they go to the zoo.

Sven and Waters first stop at the zoo was to get some water bottles to stay hydrated. Waters began sharing his philosophy on life to Sven as they looked down on the cage of lions. Sven chuckled at the apparent naiveté of Waters’ hopeful views on the dark simulation world they live in. “Of course Hamilton had another deep run”, Sven said. “You’ll learn that some teams are simply better managed than others over time I suppose…”, Sven said trailing off as he noticed in a panic that Waters was suddenly climbing over the railing and lowering himself into a pack of lions feeding on a slab of fresh meat.

“Waters! No, what are you doing?!?”, Sven shouted.

“Don’t worry, I’m connected to the lions on a spiritual level”, Waters retorted with a faraway look in his now massive pupils.

Sven nodded his head in agreement before noticing the zoo keeper perched in the lookout pulling out a rifle and beginning to aim.

Sven rushed over to the tower and called up, “Please, he’s just a boy and is no threat to those lions!”

The zoo keeper responded, “After the Cincinnati incident with Harambe, we’ve been instructed to shoot both the animals and the children to be fair to everyone.” The explanation made sense to Sven and he nodded in approval at what had to be done.

Click.

Click. Click click.

Sven saw the zoo keeper pulling the trigger but only heard the sound of a click. “Damn, I forgot to take the ammo out of my grandmother’s purse again”, Sven heard the zoo keeper say. At this point, Waters and the lions had miraculously bonded over the piece of raw meat and had moved on to snuggling together in a cozy nap. Sven was able to retrieve Waters and get him back to his Holiday Inn relatively unscathed.

Welcome to San Francisco Ben!

*AgentSmith630* · 05-04-2022, 04:01 PM

sounds like a typical day in San Francisco

Waters · 05-04-2022, 04:07 PM

Should’ve left me with the lions :(

Henrik · 05-04-2022, 04:49 PM

The perfect day out

Grapehead · 05-04-2022, 05:01 PM

Art.

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