"On behalf of the Berserkers, we are proud to introduce to the Newfoundland fans and media the final pick of the first round of the SMJHL Rookie Draft, Ima Noobie!"

The flashbulbs began to dance along the walls as he sat down at a table covered with microphones.

"Before I take any questions, I want to say a thank you to every team in the SMJHL who gave me at least a small look during the draft scouting time. Which was basically every single team in the league. I respect every one of the organizations in the SMJHL and look forwards to competing against them. And to the Ottawa Highlanders who opened the door for me to become a part of the Season 79 Draft Class. Finally, I want to give a special thanks to this organization for drafting me and paying me five million dollars! You know how many KitKats I can buy with that?"

From there, the floor was open for questions.

Q: "Isn't it true this entire charade is just a YouTube stunt?"

A: "It may have started that way, but it has become so much more than that. I met some great people along the way and also have gained an appreciation for how much work it takes to fly up and down the ice on those skates. I might actually even be in the best physical shape of my life now. And I've only just begun."

Q: "Did you know that some of the Mock Drafts actually had you as the first pick overall?"

A: "Is that why it's called a mock? And, here, I was the one who supposed to pull the pranks."

Q: "Some hockey purists have referred to you as a 'menace' to the league. How do you respond?"

A: "I don't mind the haters or the critics. My team believes in me and has welcomed me with open arms and that's all that matters. As far as the stunts go, the YouTube channel is now closed. The only time you will see me on YouTube now is when the Newfoundland Berserkers are playing hockey! I have a newly found purpose. Or, maybe, a Newfoundland Purpose is more accurate."

Wooooooo

   

s/o sve7en for sig