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The Sheriff · 03-05-2014, 09:28 PM

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Welcome to the first edition of The Post Game Show! It’s a spinoff of the old postgame show that was done, only this time it’s all New England Wolfpack based. The Post Game Show will occur twice a week, every Wednesday and Saturday. It will primarily focus on game summaries and could include Wolfpack news and interviews from players.

On the first edition, we will get you caught up on the first six days of SHL action for the Pack and will have an interview with third year defenseman Gabriel DuJardin. Enjoy the show, and don’t forget to comment. Now we turn it over to analysts Tobias Mortensen ™ and Eoghan O’Donnell (EO), take it away gents.

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Eoghan O'Donnell GBE and Tobias Mortensen CBE

GAME SUMMARIES WITH EOGHAN O'DONNELL AND TOBIAS MORTENSEN!</div>

EO: Thanks Jim! We’re going to start with day one.

TM: That would make sense. In day one, we saw the Wolfpack take on the Manhattan Rage. Wasn’t that your first team, Eoghan?

EO: Yes it was, and it was run by Spangs the manwhore.

TM: That’s not very nice, Eoghan. Maybe we should stick to the game. In the first period, we saw Carter O’Callahan put the Pack up by one. Assists came from Ace Faulkner and Gabriel DuJardin. Do you want to take the goal from here E.O.?

EO: Sure Toby, DuJ dumped the puck into the Rage zone, and Faulkner picked it up. He tried the wrap around, but Bobber stopped it. Luckily for the Pack, Cally was there to pick up the rebound and shot it over a sprawled out Bobrovsky. After the goal, the Pack would shortly add another one. Your turn Toby.

TM: JNH scored on a beautiful three way passing play started by Chuck Winnfield. Winnfield rushed the puck into the Rage zone, passed it to Nike Kickz and then JNH and Kickz played catch until JNH put it past Bobber. Unfortunetly, the Rage scored. Since we’re bias, we’re not going to describe their goal.

EO: I think it was kicked it myself, but the referees are douches so they counted it. In the second period Chuck Weird got a goal from the blue line. It was just an absolute rocket. Assists came from Ace Faulkner and Chuck Winnfield.

TM: Third period, the Rage cheated again and made it a 3-2 game. However Alexey Kovalenko made it a 4-2 game with an insurance marker. It was a sick deke set up by JNH and Pumped-Up Kickz. The game ended 4-2 and Noah Robinson got the Wolfpack their first win of Season 17. He had 10 saves. What a great game by him considering the only two goals by the Rage were either kicked in or gloved in. Do you want to name your Pierre McGuire MONSTER of the game?

b]EO:[/b] Yes, yes I do. The Pierre McGuire MONSTER of the game, brought to you by Turtle Wax is Alexey Kovalenko of the New England Wolfpack. He had the goal of the season and six MONTROUS hits! Congrats Alexey. You win a pint of Guinness paid for by Carter O’Callahan. Onto day two.

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THE MONSTER OF THE GAME!</div>

TM: That would make sense, now wouldn’t it? The first two periods didn’t really have anything exciting happen in them.

EO: Correction, Toby. In the second period, the Rage scored a goal by running Noah Robinson into the end boards when he was playing the puck and sitting on him.

TM: Oh yeah, I forgot about them. Those dirty cheaters. You’ve never done anything like that, have you Eoghan?

EO: Oh no….never…. never intentionally injured a player. Anywho, in the third, I assume the Rage cheated again and scored to go up two to nothing. JNH, Chuck Weird and Dean Clarke all scored shortly after to secure the win. JNH’s goal was really nice and gets my vote for the play of the game. The other two were very ugly goals caused by crashing the net. However, I’ll let you describe JNH’s goal because it was the goal of the season by far.

TM: Chuck Weird crushed Wowbagger the Infinitely into the end boards in the Pack end. He passed it to Gabriel DuJardin, who just hopped over the boards, and the Frenchman swerved through traffic, faked the shot and passed it in between his legs to a streaking JNH.

EO: Ew, JNH was streaking?

TM: *shakes head* Anyways, the game ended 3-2 and Noah Robinson had 14 saves, including robbing Kein Monesti at point blank range. Who is your Pierre McGuire MONSTER of the game?

EO: My Pierre McGuire MONSTER of the game, brought to you by Turtle Wax is Gabriel DuJardin, who had two assists and 1 MONTSROUS hit! For his accomplishment, he gets a pair of Chuck Winnfield’s old socks.

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THE MONSTER OF THE GAME!</div>

TM: The Wolfpack would again face the Manhattan Rage, who plans this?

EO: Probably Spangs the manwhore.

TM: Good point. Anyways, JNH got the Pack out to a good start with two goals in the first period. But the Rage were up to their old tricks, clawing back into the game, and literally biting opposing defensemen so they could get easy goals.

EO: I heard they bribed O’Cally with some Guinness. What a mean thing to do to an Irishman.

TM: In the second period, the Rage raged, see what I did there, all over the referees until they awarded them an odd goal. In the third, JNH had enough and speared a referee in the throat.

EO: I don’t blame him, those zebras were absolutely brutal. And unfortunetly the Rage capitilized. They ended up winning because of the referees. I think everyone involved in the outcome of the game should be fired. You should be able to spear whomever you please.

TM: Now careful, Eoghan, you’re going to get fined by the league. Anywho, who is your Pierre McGuire MONSTER of the game?

EO: My Pierre McGuire MONSTER of the Game brought to you by Turtle Wax is Jordan Nugent-Hall! He had 15 penalty minutes, 2 Goals, and a MONSTROUS trident throw at the referee. For his accomplishment, he gets to hang out with me for the day. [/color]

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THE MONSTER OF THE GAME!</div>

TM: That's not a very good reward. Day Four saw the Pack finally take on someone else. CJ James and the gayass Platoon came in-

EO: Hold-on, weren’t you a Platooner?

TM: That’s a chapter of my life I’d like to forget. Like the Rage, these guys are major cheaters. The Pack seemed to have scored some goals, but they have the Refs like marionettes. The West Kendall Puppet Masters ended up winning one to nothing. Who’s your Monster of the Game?

EO: That’s the Pierre McGuire MONSTER of the Game, brought to you by Turtle Wax. I think I’m going to give it the Zebras on this one. They had a MONSTROUS fifteen Puppet Master high sticks missed. CONGRATULATIONS I’M SENDING YOU TOBY’S OLD JOCKSTRAP AS A REWARD!

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THE MONSTER(S) OF THE GAME!</div>

TM: You kept that? Gross! The Pack were static for Day Five, but played those cheating Platoon on Day Six. Carter O’Callahan was huge in this game, getting two goals. His first was just dirty. Standing in the crease, he deflected a Gabriel DuJardin point shot past whoever the hell was playing goal. Dean Clarke made it two nothing with a blast from the point, assisted by Robin Karlsson and Ace Faulkner.

EO: By the way, Erik Lehner had the second assist on the O’Cally goal. You seemed to neglect to mention that. Poor Erik Lehner, seems you haven’t Lehner’ed to appreciate him yet. Ha ha I crack myself up.

TM: You’re such a lame, lame person. Those two goals came in the second period after a scoreless first. In the third period the Platoon were pack to their dirty tricks, with Peter Iannitelli practically sitting on poor Jermaine Tennyson and gloving a point shot into the net. They awarded the assists to Rampage and Hjamlrsson.

EO: Jeez, I think the Pack should have went on a Rampage after that.

TM: Will you stop that? O’Cally would make it a two goal game again when Dean Clarke found a streaking Carter O’Callahan going to the net. O’Cally deked CJ James out of his Jock strap and put it in the open cage. Second assist went to Robin LEHNER! Remembered it that time! Who’s your Pierre McGuire MONSTER of the game?

EO: The Pierre McGuire MONSTER of the Game, brought to you by Turtle Wax easily goes to my fellow countryman Carter “The Beast” O’Callahan! O’Cally had two goals and a MONTROUS FOUR HITS! I will give you a week’s supply of Guinness, paid by our good friend Tobias Mortensen!

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THE MONSTER OF THE GAME!</div>

TM: HEY! You gave away my Jock Strap last game, now you’re making me pay for Guinness?

EO: You love giving away stuff, Toby. That’s all for this week, back to you Jim!

Well there you have it, folks. That’s a wrap. Oh wait, there’s supposed to be an interview with defenseman Gabriel DuJardin (GD). Let’s go down to analyst Reginald Semin (RS).

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RS: Thanks Jim. I’m here with Reginald Semin… I mean Gabriel DuJardin. Gabe, you have I believe five points in six games. How do you think your season is going so far?

[color=green]GD: Fucking great.

RS: You want to match your rookie season totals, do you think you will?

GD: How the fuck do I know?

RS: What’s your pregame ritual?

GD: I have sex with my fiancée and then I eat some baguettes. Sometimes at the same time. It’s fucking amazing. Do you have any more questions, or am I free to go?

RS: One last question, who is your least favourite player in the league?

GD: Ronald Bolt.

RS: He retired.

GD: What a pussy. I guess it would be Chuck Winnfield. What an asshole that guy is.

RS: Thanks for your time!

GD: Go fuck yourself.

RS: Okay…. Back to you Jim.

That’s a wrap folks! Comment and we might use your comment in the next edition. For the post game show, I’m Adele Dazeem, not Jim. :,(

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1700 Words

Wasty · 03-05-2014, 09:36 PM

:o how can that be Tobias Mortensen when that's Niclas Wastlund! Imposter!! Tongue

Also great read! Cheers

#40 Niclas Wastlund - W - VANCOUVER WHALERS Whalers

/ MINNESOTA MONARCHS

The Sheriff · 03-05-2014, 09:41 PM

Twinsies

JNH · 03-05-2014, 09:42 PM

Lmao that was fuckin awesome, laughed the whole way through. :lol:

Abdeezy · 03-05-2014, 10:16 PM

Hey the post game show, my baby :D

The Sheriff · 03-05-2014, 10:18 PM

The only good thing Abdeezy ever did. Tongue

Careful everyone, JNH will spear you in the throat if you upset him

Abdeezy · 03-05-2014, 10:19 PM

Quote:Originally posted by The Sheriff@Mar 5 2014, 10:18 PM
The only good thing Abdeezy ever did. 

Careful everyone, JNH will spear you in the throat if you upset him

:(

The Sheriff · 03-05-2014, 10:22 PM

Quote:Originally posted by Abdeezy@Mar 5 2014, 10:19 PM

:(

<3 ily

Abdeezy · 03-05-2014, 10:25 PM

Quote:Originally posted by The Sheriff@Mar 5 2014, 10:22 PM

<3 ily

<_<

The Sheriff · 03-05-2014, 10:49 PM

Quote:Originally posted by Abdeezy@Mar 5 2014, 10:25 PM

<_<

SensNation613 · 03-06-2014, 12:05 AM

Quote:Originally posted by The Sheriff@Mar 5 2014, 08:28 PM
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[color=dimgrey][b]TM: Will you stop that?  Oâ€™Cally would make it a two goal game again when Dean Clarke found a streaking Carter Oâ€™Callahan going to the net.  Oâ€™Cally deked CJ James out of his Jock strap and put it in the open cage.  Second assist went to Robin LEHNER[/b]

fack u

The Sheriff · 03-06-2014, 12:13 AM

Tobias Mortensen is a mean man.

***Nike*** · 03-06-2014, 01:05 AM

This was fucking awesome

fever95 · 03-06-2014, 01:27 AM

Quote:Originally posted by Nike@Mar 5 2014, 10:05 PM
This was fucking awesome

great read sherf Smile

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