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Flareon · 12-21-2018, 07:50 PM

PUCK SHORTAGE STRIKES THE SMJHL

Following yesterday's eventful SMJHL draft, GMs and coaches are already hard at work attempting to build chemistry between their previous players and the freshly drafted rookies. The team training camps are very important parts of the season and potentially set the tone for the rest of the matches. This would be fine and dandy, except for one issue, sources are telling us that teams all over the league are barely even touching a puck. We decided to go in to the Halifax Raiders locker room to see if the players could shed some light on the current situation.

Andrej Doskočil was the first to speak up, quoted as saying "Well. Not like we need any." This was met with various nodding and noises of approval from everyone else. Doskočil then went on to say "We're actually pranking Perry [Morgan] by hiding all the pucks, don't tell him please." Several sniggers came from across the room, and Morgan, who heard the statement had a look of pure confusion across his face.

PJ Paradise was next to speak up. Initially I was happy that I was about to receive a serious response, but my hopes were quickly shot down. "We tried using burgers from the cafe, but it's not the same." Kristoffer Matsson chimed in to agree, stating that "the rink was left an absolute mess full of lettuce."

Jimmy Slothface, proclaimed by many to be the "new face" of the Halifax Raiders was next to talk. I considered the possibility of my question being genuinely answered, but I wasn't left waiting for long. "I stayed late after practice trying to find them, and I looked everywhere, but all I found was an old ding dong. Which I ate." Well there you have it folks, the brand new face of the Raiders. You may not like it, but this is peak human performance. Slothface will almost certainly lead this team to a four-star cup.

As one last resort, I decided to seek out the GM of the Raiders, King, to obtain an actual answer. With the luck of a thousand gods, I actually got one. "We're trying to run a professional franchise here. And we're trying to build something where everything is done with excellence. Being short pucks when the rookies got here is totally unacceptable and I take full responsibility. I should of made sure our group was better prepared."

Well that explains the puck shortage up in Halifax, but what about the rest of the SMJHL? What problems plague them? Will the Raiders get their rink cleared up? Look out for these answers and more probably never.

King · 12-21-2018, 07:54 PM

Justice · 12-21-2018, 07:56 PM

what the PUCK :o

Avakael · 12-21-2018, 08:04 PM

They're all gone, motherpuckers.

Troy_McClure03 · 12-21-2018, 09:01 PM

Good one!

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