It’s that time of year again. The old war chest isn’t what it once was and funds are looking slim. There is only one thing for it, and that is to produce some puff piece draft media that no one will read, much less pay any attention of any real kind to, in order to maintain the appearance that I work hard and contribute to this league in some way or another. Anyway, I’ve decided that I’m going to sporadically force myself to write something, even if it is of a terrible standard, because when I do write good media it doesn’t get a bonus so it makes more sense to just milk a word count and collect some money, especially with double payout on media articles. I kinda feel like I’d be stupid not to. Anyway, it’s time to get into the article itself. I have to make this draft related to get the additional TPE and since I have no picks in this draft I’ve not really paid any attention to it’s going ons whatsoever. Unfortunately that leaves me in a bit of a tight spot when the time comes to produce media on it and so I am going to have to default to writing about a player I am already familiar with. There aren’t many of those, so I will write about one who is in my locker room, a simple resolution. So without further ado, here is my media piece that I predict will be read by no person other than the one who it is written about and whoever is assigned the unenviable task of grading this; my sincere apologies in advance.
Marc Hagan is the son of not one, but two SHL players! For there were two Colton Hagans seen previously in the league, one creating in the big S31 class and the other some seasons later. The exact story behind how two of the same person came to exist is one that has never been explored in any real depth, but perhaps that is a story to be looked at in more depth in another media article, one that doesn’t have to be draft focused in order to obtain a media bonus. Apologies for briefly deviating from the draft in that little section. Anyway, Marc is not like his parent(s) in some ways, but in others he is the same. He is a forward, as the Coltons were, but unlike them, he is a two way forward, where they were power forwards. The two way forward is a categorically better build than the power forward so there is something than Marc has done better than his dad(s) already, choosing his build. Now, Marc is a good old boy from the Deep South of the US of A, raised on a healthy mix of Outback Steakhouse, bro country records and his momma’s home cooking. But tragically for this young man of the Confederate, he’s had to leave his home behind in order to play out his SMJHL years in the bleak city of Montreal, in smelly Canada! We sure ain’t in Kansas no more! Marc has spent a year in Montreal and I imagine he is sick to death of the city already and looking forward to getting away from poutine and bilingualism, and back to the warm embrace of Florida Georgia Line.
But where is it that Marc will go in the draft? Good question, thanks for asking it. I don’t know where Marc is going to go in the draft. Well, can’t you at least speculate? We’re not going to get any sort of word count otherwise?! Fine, if you insist. Marc is a rock solid young guy who should be taking with the first overall pick of the draft. You know who has that though? Winnipeg. And I mean jheeze, if you thought Montreal was a bleak city then you need to get a load of Winnipeg. Our country bumpkin would be a long way from the homestead if that was the play we saw happen. But when it comes to talent, that is where Marc deserves to go. Now CampinKiller is the simmer for the SMJHL I imagine his stock had flown up in the eyes of many teams who see he can be a rocksteady guy. Every GM with this viewpoint is a poser. I had a Hagan on my team for many years although I can’t take any credit for drafting them, my great shame. A team that a lot of the so called mock drafts that I have seen predict Hagan to be joining is the San Francisco Pride. I don’t think there’s a worse city for our working class hero to be heading to for San Francisco. Marc Hagan is positively anti-urbane, and the liberal elites in San Francisco would be wholly unprepared for his down home charm and rustic warmth. No, not a great fit for Marc I would suggest, but what do I know. It’s a shame that the Texas Renegades, a team that flies the flag for the South and the traditional values that Marc holds dear. It would be a perfect fit, like a rancher’s hand in a Vaseline filled glove, but not one that seems destined to happen from the reality of the situation we’ve seen so far.
Marc Hagan is a big ol’ boy. Stands at 6’3 and 204 lbs soaking wet. A kid his age who tips the scale like that certainly ain’t been skipping out on second helpings of his momma’s favourite chicken fried steak. Hagan got a lot of physical gifts and abilities that will come together to make him into a real success out on the rink. You know I wonder when I look at a guy like him how much of success in sport is predetermined. Does a guy like Hagan with successful dad(s), great genetics and a sense of humbleness that one can only get from a down home upbringing like his have that much of an advantage over a guy who didn’t get all that. That’s another question I can’t answer, but you know what, you don’t need to ask twice. I’m going to go right ahead and speculate. You know what I think, I think Hagan might have had all the gifts that God could give but that boy did mighty fine to put it all together and make it to where he has. Playing up in Montreal he’s been collecting TPE like it ain’t no one’s business and really motoring I’m ahead of all those city slickers who got drafted ahead of him. The way he’s worked hard is going to have him set in peoples minds as someone who is the kid they want on their team, and I think that right there gives you your answer. Hagan sure does have all those God given gifts which prove he truly does give with both hands, but there ain’t better a head sitting on any shoulders that he could have to get him to where he is today.
So, let’s conclude our article here today. Marc Hagan is a prospect in this draft. That is a fact. He is one of the better prospects in this draft, which in my brutally honest perspective is not of the highest quality in general. That’s no knock on Hagan because he could be a top prospect in any draft, but it does mean he stands out even more, like a peacock with the flashiest tail feathers, something that is only going to help his case. I am not as tuned in to who goes where as I have been in some seasons so I genuinely have no idea what team it’ll be that takes Hagan, but the seasons I have spent with CampinKiller as his teammate and as his GM tell me that whichever team gets him, they’ll be getting a good guy who adds a lot to the team and will make a great player. It breaks my little heart that we don’t got our first round pick (or second round pick for that matter, how painful), but I will still admire Hagan from afar. But not in a creepy way. I know it wasn’t suggested by anyone, but he’s still a kid so just wanted to put that out there so there was no confusion on the matter at all. Marc Hagan will carry on the path laid out for him by his father(s), and although the road to SHL greatness isn’t one to take lightly, it’s one he’ll follow with the whole of the South behind him. Like one of Marc’s heroes Sam Hunt once sang on his hit single Body Like A Back Road, “I’ma take it slow just as fast as I can”. These are the words that make me think of Marc. He is doing it his own way, the Southern way, where they do things a little differently. It’s worked for him so far, and I mean shit, if it ain’t broke then don’t you try and fix it.
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