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5ympathies · 04-19-2019, 09:57 PM

2x Draft Media, WC: 663

Third time doing this, first time doing it in for the SMJHL draft. I'm aware that the quality gets worse with every iteration, I could probably recycle captions and nobody would notice. Pretty sure 2x media is still happening so it's free money. Hopefully the last trash media piece I have to write this season. Without further adieu, here my name review of the S47 SMJHL Entry Draft, listed in order of draft position.

Round 1

1. Falcons

Travis Bitties (173 TPE) - Tig ol Bitties' long lost nephew? Part of a lineage of greats.
2. Raptors

Alexander Thorstorm (155 TPE) - Thorstorm is cool cause of like Thor, but also it's so close to Thornberry, from the hit Nickelodeon show, The Wild Thornberrys.
3. Whalers

Kaspars Claude (192 TPE) - I like this name because Kaspars is almost Casper, and that reminds me of Casper the friendly ghost.
4. Knights

Piotr Horvat (155 TPE) - Horvat is a great last name. Future captain of my fav NHL team, the Vancouver Canucks.
5. Lions

GORDAN BOMBAY (173 TPE) - Coach of the Mighty Ducks and could probably do better than whoever is coaching the lions right now Wink

6.

NICK CONNOLLY (155 TPE) - REGULAR NAME BUT IT'S IN ALL CAPS
7. Militia

Padraig Sarantez (155 TPE) - Clearly a foreign name, from which country I cannot say.
8. Armada

Joe Kerr (170 TPE) - If you say the name quickly it sounds like Joker!! Not sure if that's intentional, feel like it is, but I think it's great.
9. raiders

Atlas Rush (155 TPE) - Amazing first name, always fancy a bit of geography (took geo 12 in high school, fucking loved it). Just make sure you rush out of Halifax.
10. Scarecrows

Mika Kandinsky (155 TPE) - Kandinsky seems like a nice name. Drafted by St. Louis which I'm not a fan of. Hopefully they don't win four in a row.

Round 2

11. Raptors

Celogero Crudelli - Can't explain why buy Crudelli reminds me of the name Spinelli, which is the name of the girl in Recess who always wears an orange toque. Very unique first name as well.
12. Whalers

Bobby Bobcalf - I like it when the initials are the same letter. Bobcalf also makes me think of like a bobcat, but wide like a cow.
13. Raptors

Mikelis Ozolins - Unique name.
14. Militia

Oliver Cleary - Not so unique name.
15. Militia

Ravyn Tedisko - Back to being unique.
16. raiders

Jaakko Jarvinen - I've said it before, I'm a big fan of names with these double letters. Jaakko is just so much better than Jako.
17. Armada

Gabriel Johnson - This guy sounds like he would be a player on the Colorado Avalanche (currently up 3-1 over calgary).
18. Falcons

Satoshi Zizagooney - Is it racist to say that the first name sounds Japanese? If it is, then the first name sounds Asian (idk if thats better). The last name, however, is top tier. It's so absurd but I can't stop saying it.
19. Scarecrows

Lyle Odelein III - Big fan of multi-generation names. Only thing better than the third is the fourth (IV in a name is such a power move). Not a fan of the name Lyle cause it might as well be Kyle (unless your real name is actually Lyle in which case I'm sorry for shitting on it lol).
20. raiders

Bryan Lee - Pretty sure this was the name of the truant? officer at my high school. Head of Discipline was his title, I think, but regardless, this name instills fear into my heart.

Top 3
1. Falcons

Satoshi Zizagooney
2. raiders

Atlas Rush
3. Whalers

Bobby Bobcalf

I was planning on doing every round but I felt my brain cells dying with every word so I had to stop early, sorry to disappoint. The names in this draft class, however, were much much better than last seasons.