best article of the year

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Paul Koivu || RW || Anchorage Armada/Hamilton Steelhawks || S62 || Also a bust
Name: Paul Koivu
Birthplace: Montreal,Canada
Height: 5'11''
Weight: 178 lbs
Number: 62
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Regular Season Stats
S61 | ANC | GP: 66 | G: 9 | A: 16 | P: 25 | +/-: 2
S62 | ANC | GP: 66 | G: 11 | A: 29 | P: 40 | +/-: 29
S63 | ANC | GP: 66 | G: 15 | A: 32 | P: 47 | +/-: 0
S64 | ANC | GP: 66 | G: 22 | A: 20 | P: 42 | +/-: -51
S65 | NEW | GP: 66 | G: 15 | A: 23 | P: 28 | +/-: -33
S66 | NEW | GP: 66 | G: 24 | A: 39 | P: 63 | +/-: -34
S67 | NEW | GP: 66 | G: 25 | A: 33 | P: 58 | +/-: -7
S68 | NEW | GP: 66 | G: 39 | A: 42 | P: 81 | +/-: 5
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Playoffs Stats
S61 | ANC | GP: 10 | G: 5 | A: 2 | P: 7 | +/-: 8
S62 | ANC | GP: 14 | G: 4 | A: 6 | P: 10 | +/-: 2
S63 | ANC | GP: - | G: - | A: - | P: - | +/-: -
S64 | ANC | GP: 4 | G: 1 | A: 0 | P: 1 | +/-: -5
S65 | NEW | GP: - | G: - | A: - | P: - | +/-: -
S66 | NEW | GP: - | G: - | A: - | P: - | +/-: -
S67 | NEW | GP: 4| G: 0 | A: 3 | P: 3 | +/-: -6
S68 | NEW | GP: 5| G: 1 | A: 1 | P: 2 | +/-: -1
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Achievements
Drafted 2nd OA by the Anchorage Armada
Drafted 8th OA by the Manhattan Rage
S63 Brandon Holmes Trophy (Best defensive Forward)
S63 WJC Silver Medal
S64 WJC Gold Medal
S66 All-Star Team
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Simon LeBlanc || D || Kelowna Knights/Atlanta Inferno || S47-S61 || Absolute Bust || Retired
Name: Simon LeBlanc
Birthplace: Montreal,Canada
Height: 5'11''
Weight: 180 lbs
Number: 16
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Regular Season Stats
S47 | KEL | GP: 50 | G: 3 | A: 4 | P: 7 | +/-: 4 | PIM : 28 | SOG: 17 | HT: 57 | SB: 46
S48 | KEL | GP: 50 | G: 2 | A: 15 | P:17 | +/-: -1 | PIM : 56 | SOG: 23 | HT: 60 | SB: 39
S49 | KEL | GP: 50 | G: 6 | A: 23 | P:29 | +/-: 3 | PIM : 30 | SOG: 40 | HT: 55 | SB: 62
S50 | KEL | GP: 50 | G: 3 | A: 35 | P: 38 | +/-: 0 | PIM : 69 | SOG: 41 | HT: 105 | SB: 61
S51 | LAP | GP: 50 | G: 2 | A: 9 | P: 11 | +/-: -4 | PIM : 67 | SOG: 7 | HT: 77 | SB: 61
S52 | LAP | GP: 50 | G: 2 | A: 11 | P: 13 | +/-: 4 | PIM : 35 | SOG: 16 | HT: 101 | SB: 61
S53 | LAP | GP: 50 | G: 4 | A: 11 | P: 15 | +/-: 26 | PIM : 4 | SOG: 68 | HT: 76 | SB: 76
S54 | LAP | GP: 50 | G: 6 | A: 11 | P: 17 | +/-: 13 | PIM : 14 | SOG: 87 | HT: 100 | SB: 80
S55 | LAP | GP: 50 | G: 7 | A: 13 | P: 20 | +/-: -15 | PIM : 8 | SOG: 81 | HT: 91 | SB: 148
S56 | ATL | GP: 50 | G: 2 | A: 16 | P: 18 | +/-: -2 | PIM : 26 | SOG: 100 | HT: 92 | SB: 115
S57 | ATL | GP: 66 | G: 7 | A: 27 | P: 34 | +/-: -4 | PIM : 52 | SOG: 175 | HT: 140 | SB: 140
S58 | ATL | GP: 66 | G: 6 | A: 25 | P: 31 | +/-: 12 | PIM : 30 | SOG: 137 | HT: 130 | SB: 218
S59 | ATL | GP: 66 | G: 10 | A: 19 | P: 29 | +/-: -14 | PIM : 37 | SOG: 152 | HT: 111 | SB: 222
S60 | ATL | GP: 66 | G: 9 | A: 24 | P: 33 | +/-: 25 | PIM : 10 | SOG: 169 | HT: 127 | SB: 170
S61 | ATL | GP: 66 | G: 8 | A: 14 | P: 22 | +/-: -4 | PIM : 28 | SOG: 136 | HT: 118 | SB: 146
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Playoffs Stats
S47 | KEL | GP: 10 | G: 0 | A: 0 | P: 0 | +/-: -3 | PIM : 8 | SOG: 3 | HT: 10 | SB: 7
S48 | KEL | GP: 6 | G: 0 | A: 0 | P: 0 | +/-: -3 | PIM : 6 | SOG: 1 | HT: 13 | SB: 6
S49 | KEL | GP: 17 | G: 0 | A: 7 | P: 7 | +/-: -11 | PIM : 14 | SOG: 17 | HT: 15 | SB: 23
S50 | KEL | GP: 6 | G: 0 | A: 1 | P: 1 | +/-: -2 | PIM : 4 | SOG: 3 | HT: 13 | SB: 5
S51 | LAP | GP: 15 | G: 0 | A: 2 | P: 2 | +/-: -2 | PIM : 14 | SOG: 5 | HT: 26 | SB: 28
S52 | LAP | GP: 7 | G: 0 | A: 1 | P: 1 | +/-: 0 | PIM : 0 | SOG: 2 | HT: 16 | SB: 5
S53 | LAP | GP: 11 | G: 0 | A: 3 | P: 3 | +/-: -2 | PIM : 2 | SOG: 17 | HT: 22 | SB: 16
S54 | LAP | GP: 12 | G: 2 | A: 3 | P: 5 | +/-: -1 | PIM : 2 | SOG: 13 | HT: 18 | SB: 35
S55 | LAP | GP: - | G: - | A: - | P: - | +/-: - | PIM : - | SOG: - | HT: - | SB: -
S56 | ATL | GP: 11 | G: 0 | A: 3 | P: 3 | +/-: -13 | PIM : 4 | SOG: 15 | HT: 11 | SB: 26
S57 | ATL | GP: 10 | G: 2 | A: 3 | P: 5 | +/-: -3 | PIM : 4 | SOG: 16 | HT: 12 | SB: 38
S58 | ATL | GP: 11 | G: 0 | A: 5 | P: 5 | +/-: 4 | PIM : 4 | SOG: 20 | HT: 11 | SB: 26
S59 | ATL | GP: 4 | G: 0 | A: 3 | P: 3 | +/-: -3 | PIM : 0 | SOG: 11 | HT: 15 | SB: 19
S60 | ATL | GP: 14 | G: 4 | A: 5 | P: 9 | +/-: 3 | PIM : 2 | SOG: 26 | HT: 23 | SB: 39
S61 | ATL | GP: 4 | G: 0| A: 0 | P: 0 | +/-: -4 | PIM : 2 | SOG: 10 | HT: 6 | SB: 10
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Achievements
Drafted 30th OA by Kelowna 
S47 WJC Gold Medal with Canada
Drafted 25th OA by LA Panthers
S48 WJC Gold Medal with Canada
S50 - Nominated for the Quilha Agante Award(Best Defenseman)
First SHL Goal(S51 - Game 19)
S50 WJC Silver Medal
S51 WJC Gold as WJC GM of Canada
S54 IIHF Gold as Canada Co Fedhead
S55 Traded to Atlanta Inferno
S56 IIHF Gold as Co Fedhead and player
S57 IIHF Gold
S60 Named Captain of the Atlanta Inferno

is this some SHL joke im too rookie to understand?

Valentin Kalashnikov || D || Baltimore Platoon || 2106 TPE

6'3'' || 225 lbs || Grozny, Russian Federation

S52 SMJHL Entry Draft 5th Overall (Halifax Raiders)

S53 SHL Draft 12th Overall (Tampa Bay Barracuda)

S52 WJC IIHF Champion (UCORCAL)

S53 WJC IIHF Bronze (UCORCAL)

S55 WJC IIHF Champion (UCORCAL)

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SMJHL Season Stats

Szn || Team || GP ||  G||  A||  P|| +/- || HIT || SHB || TOI ||

S52 || HFX  || 50 ||  4|| 11|| 14 ||  -7 ||  85 ||  47 || 1093|| 

S53 || MET || 50 ||  9|| 14|| 23 ||  -13 ||  166 ||  85 || 23:20 ||

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Playoffs Stats

Szn || Team || GP  || G || A || P || +/- || HIT || SHB || TOI ||

S52 || HFX  || 6/6 || 0 || 4 || 4 ||  +2 ||  12 ||  5 || 127 ||

S53 || MET  || DNQ || 0 || 0 || 0 ||  0 ||  0 ||  0 || 0 ||

        

is this some SHL joke im too rookie to understand?

Hardly a joke.