Login

juniped · 06-18-2021, 10:44 PM

Press Release From Juni Panda

I would like to apologize to my family, my friends, my teammates, my countrymen and my country. I have done something I am ashamed of and I would like to apologize. I admit I have been stressed watching the IIHF and the wjc this year, not because I am playing but because I've been watching from the sidelines unable to help my fellow swedes in there competitions. I know I'm not the best player but I have done my best to maintain High morale and help keep our players sharp and ready for the game. However in my endeavors to bring about brotherhood and team cohesion I went a step too far.

A night like any other night is what it should have been, instead it began at lunch the day before the semifinals match. I was sitting with First-Name Last-Name and we were discussing different ways we could bring about some team chemistry to the junior squad. Thinking back, we had a lot of ideas that we're probably better than what we had done. We considered doing some practice matches but we didn't want to tire them out beforehand. We considered a day of thanking King Carl and getting tattoos of him, but I was told that might be a bit too far. We also could have done something simple like everyone spending the day enjoying the sights together as a team. However I was feeling adventurous.

I convinced First-Name Last-Name to help me bust all of the Juniors Squad out of the dorms and sneak out past curfew to go bar hopping. Now I'm know I'm not much of a drinker but I can definitely pound some claws like the rest of them if my country needs me, and I felt my country needed me. So I managed to convince all of the chaperones end team veterans to get some rest for the day tomorrow, after all they're getting old and need their sleep. So then together we woke up all of the junior roster and took them out for a night on the town. If my memory serves me correctly we hit up 3 clubs, 5 bars, 2 pubs and a Wendy's.

The play you saw from the junior squad was not the play you should expect from them. I have been a negative influence on the team this tournament and I regret my choices. If it were not for me I am sure that they could have taken anyone in the tournament. I wish I could take it all back but instead I'm going to do my best to learn from what I have done end I hope to be a better role model for my juniors going into the future. I know I haven't image as a bully, a brute only knows how to hurt and someone who does not belong in the modern game but I'm doing my best to change and I hope you will forgive me. I hope King Carl can forgive my trespasses I want to be better.

*512 words*

*gurbs* · 06-18-2021, 11:05 PM

So maybe in hindsight we probably should’ve just went bowling eh?

In my defense, the IIHF team had just went through major heartbreak in the elimination rounds and I just needed some company. Don Julio was calling my name at the bars but we should’ve known better and left the baby Swedes. We promised to have them all back at a decent time…. but when Mr. Julio started flowing, it all went off the rails. The last thing I remember is Juni feeding me some spicy McNuggets in our Uber. Man I’m hoping there weren’t any secret cameras in that car… wouldn’t that be a video all our teammates would wanna see.

Sorry King Carl… I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us. We’ll be better next year I promise.

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us