Barriers
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![]() SHL GM pure of heart, dumb of ass
[1064 words, ready for grading]
author's note: Since it's Pride Month, I wanted to check back in on our favourite side character! As well, to clarify again - non-English dialogue is in italics to indicate it's in whatever language. This was a tricky piece to write and design for the character and it took me a really long time to figure out how I wanted to do this part, so a big thank you to those who gave advice - y'all know who you are. Enjoy! ~~~ The now-familiar signals of the days getting shorter and school getting more intense for Ana no longer held as much apprehension as they used to, for now the arrival of those things meant more time on the ice and in between the pipes. She was in an older division now and the opponents were getting bigger and stronger, but for Ana that just meant a greater challenge to test her own skills against and get better, along with the more targeting coaching that was coming with it. One thing that she had really been working on in the summer had been her recovery to get back on her feet after facing shots, and it seemed to be paying off so far. As goalies do, she was starting to develop some habits that made her feel more comfortable around the net too - hockey players are superstitious, and the young goalie was no different, figuring out how best to push the snow around to make movement easier. In the tense moments before a big game, it was a nice way for her sometimes-wandering mind to focus on the details and get set for playing goalie. Away from the rink, things couldn't be more different. Ana was becoming more aware of her differences from the other kids as a girl playing hockey with the boys, and it was starting to show in how everyone dressed too. She was usually content to just tuck her hair into her favourite knit cap and rock a sweater, but this didn't help her fit in with her peers and got her some ribbing from those who thought a girl playing boy's sports at this point was weird. Ana liked being out on the ice since with her shorter hair nobody could tell she wasn't one of the guys; behind the mask was an escape for her. The girls didn't see her as one of them, not just for her style and sports but for other things as well. The other girls were talking so much about the people they liked, a conversation that Ana just couldn't make herself be a believable part of. They would talk at length about the boys who played sports, a view that the goalie just didn't seem to share and which rendered her even more of an outsider. It was because they were teammates, Ana would think to herself. It was natural to not see them that way, she just had to figure out which boys she was into and that would fix everything. Wouldn't it? Along with the differing matters of the heart, there was one more thing on Ana's mind that seemed to set her apart. "Why do we speak a different language at home?" she innocently inquired to her mother one day. "Everyone thinks I'm different for playing hockey, and my name isn't close to anyone else's either," Ana went on. At this her mother briefly reacted with surprise, but then gently the two sat down before she started speaking again. "I was born in a different country, a place you've never visited. I came here to go to school, I met your father here, and we decided to stay," Ana's mother explained softly. "When you were born, we knew we wanted to make sure you never forgot where you came from, so that was why we gave you a name from my land and why we speak that language in this home." Trying to make sense of this revelation, the girl responded shyly. "I never knew that, sometimes I'll use that language at school and nobody can understand me and so they look at me funny," she admitted. "Why haven't we ever been there?" she finished inquisitively. Though it quickly cleared, Ana could see an expression of some discomfort flash across her mother's face at this question. "You'll know more when you get older," her mother answered with some care. "Just know that we're very happy and we've made a life here, and that's all that matters," she finished. While this answer didn't really sway Ana's interest, she could tell this was an uncomfortable topic and didn't push further, reaching out to grab her mother's hand. This conversation and everything going on was still on Ana's mind for her next game, which was an important one for her team. She went through her normal pre-game exercises to try and block out everything else and focus on the game, but it wasn't working as well as she hoped. A few minutes into the game, a shot came off the wing that she'd normally have easily steered to the corner or gloved down, but she mistimed her reaction and ended up awkwardly deflecting the shot off her pads, leading to a rebound opportunity that was thankfully blocked. In the second period, another chance popped up when the puck was passed out of the corner to the face-off circle. Ana came out to challenge the shot, but her positioning was off square and it came in a location she wasn't expecting and went past her for a goal. While these mistakes didn't end up mattering to the result, as her team was one of the best in the league, it was an uncharacteristically sloppy performance and Ana knew it - she'd let her real-life stresses get in the way of hockey and it was showing. Taking off her pads in the locker room and leaving in her usual sweater and hat, she was deep in thought about the events of the prior weeks. She knew she was different from the other girls in so many ways, but if she could shut out the outside world during her hockey games, she could figure out how to be more like them. Just like learning from the goalies of the SHL and the international games, she could learn how to fit in. She had to. ![]() SHL GM pure of heart, dumb of ass |
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