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FuriousChicken · 02-04-2024, 04:41 PM

With the many SHJML teams that are in existence, and their constant stream of players being there for 4 seasons (or less) before making the move to the SHL. I got interested in what the teams would look like if there was a little tournament, in which each SHJML team could use all of their players, current and past (or yeah not always current, but we will come onto the actual rules for it later). This is why I decided to check up how each of the 14 current SHJML teams would look like. There are a few restrictions I used for this. These are as follows:
*During the time the current batch of players played in the SHJML there has been 1 rebrand, the Anaheim Outlaws going to the Yukon Malamutes. As this is a rebrand, and not a team is dissolving, and a new one coming along I will be acting like this is the same team.
*I used total TPE for this, this is especially important as there are current SHJML players who do make the teams, and have a capped current TPE. For these I will also be taking the total TPE.
*For which players to use, how much TPE each player had, I used the player portal on the 4th of Januari. This does have, if I am correct the negative of being updated “live”, which could mean, especially on the lower end, that some players have gotten skipped as they claimed their weeklies while I was gathering the data, and thus jumped up the list.
*For which SHJML team to put a player in I used the SHJML index. For how I determined the actual team is pretty simple. Firstly I purely looked at the regular season stats, then I looked at which SHJML team the player has the most seasons on, also counting pre-draft seasons, as the index does count those as well. So if a player played 3 seasons on the Anchorage Armada, but then went to the Carolina Kraken for 1 final season, the player would be on the Anchorage Armada for this one. This would stay the same if the player got drafted by the Carolina Kraken but then left for the Anchorage Armada after 1 season. If a player was in both the Anchorage Armada, and the Carolina Kraken for 2 seasons, the player goes to the team where they spend their first season, so if the player got drafted by Anchorage Armada, stays there for 2 seasons, then went to the Carolina Kraken the player will be on the Anchorage Armada for this. Of course we will only be looking at the seasons between these 2 teams, so if the player was on the Colorado Raptors before the draft took place, the player would still be on the Anchorage Armada because the Colorado Raptors only had them for 1 season. If however the player got traded from the Carolina Kraken to the Colorado Raptors for their final season, the player would be on the Colorado Raptors.
*There are some players who aren’t in the index because of them being in the SHJML before the index was a thing. For these players I used the team that drafted them. If this isn’t filled in on the portal (only the case for 1 player), I used the team where the player got the most awards and/or nominations. If the player does not have these either, the player will sadly be skipped (wasn’t the case for any player).
*Xavier Doom for me at least didn’t have a working SHJML index page. So I used the draft team for Doom.
*For the teams I used the current SHJML rules, so each team will have a main, and back-up goalie, 3 lines of defenders, and 4 lines of forwards.
*The players will be divided between goalie/defender/forward, and thus a lower TPE defender can be in the team over a higher TPE forward, if the team only has a defensive slot left. But I didn’t look if a player was left or right defense for defenders, and if the player was left wing, right wing, or center for the forwards.

Now finally, let’s get to the actual teams:

Anchorage Armada:
1st goalie: George Walsh (475)
2nd goalie: Moe Vanbiesbrouck (425)
1st line defenders: Philippe-Eko Eel (1995) & Sean Davies (1501)
2nd line defenders: Georg N’Zola (1479) & Johnny Shuffleboard (909)
3rd line defenders: Cheeks Klapanen (786) & Dan Johnston (786)
1st line forwards: Ricky Koivu (2034) & Edward Elric (1993) & Red Kirkby (1984)
2nd line forwards: Spack Jarrow (1761) & Dusty Rhodes (1719) & Bruno Tooyo (1696)
3rd line forwards: Paul Koivu (1518) & Oskar Scholz (1466) & Sebastien Regazzoni (1415)
4th line forwards: Tony Soprano (1284) & Gnabe Dabson (1262) & Daniel Grumathan (1227)

So yeah, the Anchorage Armada has the best average TPE over all 12 of their forwards (1613.333), which might not be the strangest to hear seeing how none of their forwards come under 1200 TPE (or maybe it is strange, as this is the first team). Their defense is ranked 11th highest in TPE (1242.667 TPE), which is quite a bit lower with them having some absolute greats, together with some up-and-coming defenders. Their goalies are the weakest spot, having the 14th highest goalies (450 TPE) of all teams, with none of the goalies coming over the 500 TPE, which is only 50 over the higher TPE cap in the SHJML league itself. Their average TPE over all 20 players is the 3rd highest (1385.8 TPE). Of course looking at the total average TPE gives a wrong view, as each line plays a different amount of time. But I am not good enough to think of a nice modifier, but I do have the first line TPE (6 players), in which the Anchorage Armada is the 10th best team (1663.667 TPE) which comes from them not having a great goalie, and also shows that while the Anchorage Armada has some amazing depth on most positions, their main lines aren’t much stronger than the other teams.

Carolina Kraken:
1st goalie: BASE PACK (1965)
2nd goalie: Denebor Milasch (431)
1st line defenders: Pass Forfeit (2032) & Lenny Hawk (1286)
2nd line defenders: Lazer Gato (861) & Jimmy Wagner (854)
3rd line defenders: Wesley Kirkpatrick (833) & Aleks Bliztstrom (575)
1st line forwards: Adam Prpich (1894) & Axel Kirkby (1821) & Atticus Hale (1696)
2nd line forwards: Patya Perevalov (1668) & Derek Martin (1613) & Marton Diehm (1607)
3rd line forwards: Julian Eaglesong (1367) & Johnny Wagner-Svenson (1234) & Tomas Lind (1230)
4th line forwards: Kyle Murray (1166) & FITTEDPRIMETIME99* CUDDLES (1111) & Aumy Junior II (1040)

Despite the forwards looking worse than the Anchorage Armada, I want to start off with saying that Aumy Junior II is the 2nd highest 12th forward, and (ex-)forwards of the 2 teams are just unlucky (in terms for this article) to not be included. The average TPE of the Carolina Kraken is the 6th highest (1314.2 TPE) out of all the teams, which is a step down form the Armada. Their goalies however is also the 6th highest (1198 TPE) which is a step up. The defense is where the Kraken is lacking, having the 13th highest defense (1073.5 TPE) of the league. The forwards is the 3rd highest (1453.917 TPE), and their first line is the 5th highest (1782.333) of the league. So in general the Kraken has amazing forward lines, but their defense still needs some time to develop.

Colorado Raptors:
1st goalie: Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz (1376)
2nd goalie: Tanner Pits (414)
1st line defenders: Isaac Forty-One (1780) & Zayne Dangle (1651)
2nd line defenders: Chuchichäschtli Zopf (1487) & Angus McFife XVIII (1451)
3rd line defenders: Hugh Manius (1324) & Gonzo Gobbledygook (1237)
1st line forwards: Binko Koivu (1941) & Evan Winter (1941) & Tom Pedersen (1940)
2nd line forwards: Shōyō Hinata (1829) & Erik Bergmark (1670) & Max Manning (1487)
3rd line forwards: JR Frankenstero (1453) & Adrian O’Rugg (1390) & Noel Blanchet (1305)
4th line forwards: James Ward-Prowse (1223) & Walt "Clyde" Frazier (1050) & Lord Raiden (1005)
The Colorado Raptors got one amazing team, outside of the back-up goalie, who is still in the SHJML, every single position is made up of 1000+ TPE players. This is also showable in the fact they got the best average TPE of all teams (1447.7 TPE). Their goalies do prove to be the weaker point of an amazing team, having the 12th highest average TPE (895). They are also a team that is good across the board, while most teams have a (comparatively to the rest of the teams) good and bad average, on either forwards and or defense, for the Colorado Raptors the defense has the 7th highest average (1488.333 TPE) which is nice in the middle, and the 2nd highest forward average (1519.5 TPE), with a first line of forwards who are only 1 TPE apart. The first line however might be a weakness of the Colorado Raptors, only having the 6th highest average TPE on the first line (1771.5 TPE).

Detroit Falcons:
1st goalie: Jeff Newman (1279)
2nd goalie: Toms Zile (922)
1st line defenders: Julian Flörsch (1966) & Dirty Boots (1774)
2nd line defenders: Nash Topalo (1657) & Nathan Meagher (1415)
3rd line defenders: Luc Blouin (1293) & Zedward Zilliams (904)
1st line forwards: Ivan Lacksamus (1820) & Ty Murphy (1467) & Billy Herrington (1464)
2nd line forwards: Bnana Nwaffles (1440) & Salzberger Lillehammersson (1395) & Bastien Primeau (1080)
3rd line forwards: Trevor Lahey (866) & The Murray (864) & Prince Marius (675)
4th line forwards: 4 Chainz (672) & Kenny Omega (667) & Trap Zelenock (532)
So yeah, just gonna be honest the Detroit Falcons are a step down compared to the previous 3 teams. Despite having a good defense, their average TPE rank is 12th, of the 14 (1207.6), With the goalies being the 8th highest (1100.5). Like I said before their defense is the best one so far, with the Falcons having the 5th highest (1501.5 TPE) average defender TPE. The forward lines are where the real weakness starts showing, with the Falcons having the 13th highest (1078.5 TPE) forward TPE. The first line is also only the 12th highest (1628.333) average TPE line in the numbers.

Great Falls Grizzlies:
1st goalie: Beau Lavamagj (829)
2nd goalie: Hank Stopper (800)
1st line defenders: Chris Valentine (1651) & Pork Tenderloin (1400)
2nd line defenders: Billy Hill (855) & RIP THUNDERDOME 2013-2023 (812)
3rd line defenders: Arnošt Hlemýžď (740) & Peanut (471)
1st line forwards: Grogu Mandosson (1617) & Hài Nam Hoàng (1478) & Bobby McGinnis (1394)
2nd line forwards: Tiberius Kane (1265) & Taschen Messer (1246) & Manny Calavera (1234)
3rd line forwards: James Dion (1128) & Levin Schattenaxt (1021) & Shylo Moxii (1018)
4th line forwards: Andren Akerson (955) & Kyle Latreille (736) & Jani Mänty (701)
So yeah, sadly in these type of lists, 1 team needed to have the lowest average TPE, and for this one it is the Great Falls Grizzlies, having the 14th highest (1067.55 TPE) total average TPE, 13th highest (814.5 TPE) average goalie TPE, 14th highest (988.1667 TPE) average defensive TPE, and the 11th highest (1149.417 TPE) forward TPE. The first line of the Great Falls Grizzlies is also the 14th highest (1394.833) average. The positive note is that there are quite a few younger players, which means this team will mostly get better, while other teams have a few, and sometimes even quite a lot of players in regression soon/already.

Kelowna Knights:
1st goalie: Casey Fantobens (1292)
2nd goalie: Tibuk Soonika (1279)
1st line defenders: Ben Jammin (1833) & Christian Kinsinger (1576)
2nd line defenders: Jacques Hammer (1566) & Ben Waters Jr (1278)
3rd line defenders: Potential Spam (787) & Rikaad Metziller (784)
1st line forwards: Graj Virrok (2003) & Petr Svoboda (1631) & Ekaterina Valieva (1612)
2nd line forwards: Adam Liebold (1582) & Duncan Mackenzie (1391) & Tommy Westbrook (1256)
3rd line forwards: James Lutz (1242) & Logan Webb (1080) & Munko Autmukhambetov (991)
4th line forwards: Kevin Kim (960) & Activity Check (867) & Mu Wisconsin (830)
The 10th best average TPE of all teams (1292 TPE) might not be the highest TPE out of all teams, it is a team that is pretty decent across the board, not having a big weakness. Their goalies are the 4th best (1285.5 TPE) goalies of these teams. Meanwhile the defense is the 8th best defense (1304 TPE) between these teams, while also having the 6th best forwards (1287.083 TPE). This shows that they aren’t bad in any singular position, but their 1st line is a bit lacking compared to the other teams, having the 11th highest 1st line (1657.833 TPE).

Maine Timber:
1st goalie: Sir Devoir (1880)
2nd goalie: Bernard Lodge (864)
1st line defenders: Emil Egli (1964) & Nathaniel Barca (1678)
2nd line defenders: Toasty O’Bigbers (1606) & Miguel Hefeweizen (1417)
3rd line defenders: Puddles O’Duck (1287) & Jay Cue (1006)
1st line forwards: Mads McBride (2010) & Cale Salad (1676) & Nibbles The Squirrel (1675)
2nd line forwards: Viktor Krunk (1538) & Pawter Meowski (1416) & Peter Tingle (1397)
3rd line forwards: Edžus Ozolins (1342) & Barefoot Sugars (1189) & William Tree (1159)
4th line forwards: Dogwood Maple (1156) & Iliket Urtles (1127) & Damien Hirano (1023)
The Maine Timber is a very strong team managing to get the 2nd highest average TPE (1420.5 TPE). They follow this up with really solid TPE on all positions, having the 2nd highest average goalies (1372 TPE), 6th highest average defenders (1493 TPE), 4th highest average forwards (1392.333 TPE), and the 4th highest first line (1813.833 TPE) showing they are solid on every single line and do not really have any big weaknesses.

Nevada Battleborn:
1st goalie: Luka Nogoalov (1005)
2nd goalie: Willie Miller (830)
1st line defenders: Seamus O’Slapahan (1992) & Adelie de Pengu (1662)
2nd line defenders: John Brown (1647) & Jølngüštrâädüvich DuBølk (1346)
3rd line defenders: Ace Lightning (1258) & Chad Nickelback (1249)
1st line forwards: Luke Laraque (2023) & Lias Ekholm-Gunnarsson (1886) & Dave Heinrich (1639)
2nd line forwards: Melvin Majestik-Moose (1611) & Alexi Piastri (1579) & Connor Snooks (1411)
3rd line forwards: Bender Junior (1252) & Max Carnage (1079) & Olivier Castillon (1064)
4th line forwards: Dominik Froste (1042) & Thomas Sawschuk (1014) & Jimmy Larkin-Conway (988)

Nevada Battleborn might be unlucky to come right after the Kelowna Knights, as they are weaker than them. But they are still the 4th highest team (1378.85 TPE) on average of all J-teams. The goalies are however a weak point in the Battleborn line-up being the 11th best (917.5 TPE) average goalies of all teams. The defense however is quite a strong point, having the 4th best defense (1525.666 TPE) of the league, coupled with the 5th best forwards (1382.333 TPE) the Battleborn are quite a formidable opponent for any team, above or below them in the ranking. In terms of first line it is a bit lower, having the 8th best first line (1701.166 TPE) of all teams.

Newfoundland Berserkers:
1st goalie: Rhett “Shaggy” Carpet (1272)
2nd goalie: Tummy Hurts (942)
1st line defenders: Jay O’Neil (1821) & Rasmus Bergling (1709)
2nd line defenders: Lester Oiduser (1638) & Philip Fry (1511)
3rd line defenders: Luca Hanziker (1499) & Mit Wobet (1006)
1st line forwards: Matsmith Söderberg-Tremblay (1882) & Mikko Rashford (1823) & Evil AllBran (1625)
2nd line forwards: Antoine Beauregard (1437) & Luca Pane (1432) & Matiss Ozolinsh (1427)
3rd line forwards: John Hopoate (1234) & Vaseline Podcalzone (1057) & Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez (1023)
4th line forwards: Ryuuji Minamino (823) & Steve Harrington (766) & Dan Craig (748)
After having had the 4th best team just before, the Newfoundland Berserkers follow it up nicely being the 5th best average TPE team (1333.75 TPE). Having a pretty solid all-round team, with the 7th best goalies (1107 TPE), 3rd best defense (1530.666 TPE), and the 7th best forwards (1273.083 TPE) it is obvious that their strongest assets do lie in the defensive side of the rink. A weakness they do have is that while their depth is strong, their 1st line is only the 9th best in the league (1688.666 TPE)

Quebec City Citadelles:
1st goalie: Justin Time (2015)
2nd goalie: Sobchak Walter (1017)
1st line defenders: Louise St. Martin (1920) & Nevek Kove (1858)
2nd line defenders: Alexander MInaj (1297) & Elena Maximova (1264)
3rd line defenders: Jaromir Jagrbomb (884) & Lea Cranberry (592)
1st line forwards: Sophie Bordeleau (2018) & Jack St. Clair (1873) & Aksel Fiske (1754)
2nd line forwards: Konstantin Selich (1657), Viktor Hargreeves (1644), Nathan Cormier (1158)
3rd line forwards: Kev Kerens (1085), Jiggle E. Puff (1084), William Salming (1029)
4th line forwards: Jeff Hunziker (666), Ryland Murphy (620), Shawn Pawn (483)
The Quebec City Citadelles have the 9th best average TPE (1295.5 TPE) of the league. One big highlight of their squad is a really strong goalie duo, having the highest average TPE over their 2 goalies (1516 TPE). The defense goes a bit more standard, with it also being the 9th best in the league (1302.5 TPE). Then the forwards are 1 position better being the 8th best forwards of the league (1255.916 TPE), and finally their first line, which does really well, with QCC having the best first line of all the teams (1906.333 TPE).

Regina Elk:
1st goalie: Rebecca Montagne (1793)
2nd goalie: Ally Mathieson (640)
1st line defenders: San-Sam Emerson (1904) & Hodor (1801)
2nd line defenders: Landon Fischermann (1678) & Jack McCarthy (1428)
3rd line defenders: Angry Gilmore (1335) & Willow Söderberg-Snooks (1248)
1st line forwards: M'Baku Olubori (2066) & Lord Farquaads (2031) & Yannick Svoboda (1730)
2nd line forwards: David-Arturri Donskoi (1631) & Kezia MacKenzie (1284) & Mercedes Baylé (1071)
3rd line forwards: Austin Morley (880) & Rowan O'Beirne (860) & Just-to-Buy My-Love (779)
4th line forwards: Ralph Ryan (766) & Mac Turner (658) & Gritty McGritterson (635)
Next up are the Regina Elk. Having the 7th highest average TPE (1310.9 TPE) of all teams. They do have decently strong goalies, having the 5th highest TPE of all the teams (1216.5 TPE). Their defense is however one of the best in the league, being the 2nd highest average TPE (1565.666 TPE). With their forwards bringing the total average TPE down a bit, being the 10th best TPE of all teams (1199.25 TPE). Their first line is once again really strong, not as strong as QCC, but still the 2nd best first line (1887.5 TPE).

St. Louis Scarecrows:
1st goalie: Anthony Dionne (2034)
2nd goalie: Kay Lee (577)
1st line defenders: Tommi Koivu (1907) & Wide Peepo Happy 3 Koivu (1835)
2nd line defenders: Aleksi Kettu (1703) & Filip Lund (1631)
3rd line defenders: Marcel Beck (1591) & Wendolene Ramsbottom (1482)
1st line forwards: Rikkert Biemans (1999), Outdoor Truck (1691), Jarrod Lakemore (1633)
2nd line forwards: Greyson Cooper (1140), Lasse Zeigler (1135), Dominik Winters (1028)
3rd line forwards: Greg Davies (876), König Wolf (788), Dan Baltisberger (785)
4th line forwards: Sunrise van de Schubbekutteveen (757), Crazy Tomato (751), Marshall Madden (711)
St. Louis Scarecrows are a small step back from the Regina Elk, being 1 position lower, and thus in 8th for the average TPE among all teams (1302.7 TPE). Their goalies are once again in a good spot, having the 3rd best goalies in the league (1305.5 TPE). Their defense shows great promise as well, having the best defense of all teams (1691.5 TPE). Their forwards however are a step down on the Regina Elk, being the 12th highest TPE forwards of all teams (1107.833 TPE). Their first line is in line with the last 2 teams, really good but just a step down, having the 3rd highest first line of all teams (1849.833 TPE).

Vancouver Whalers:
1st goalie: Olof Karsikko (1229)
2nd goalie: Jon St. Ark (949)
1st line defenders: Antonio Flusso (1829) & Sven Svechnikov (1331)
2nd line defenders: Sven Panda (1260) & Miroslav Ketil (1013)
3rd line defenders: Bellamy Blake (1005) & Ryosuke Sato (918)
1st line forwards: Benjamin Surkhi-Ze'ev (2017), Benson Fiorentini (2014), Aleksandr Iskandrov (1877)
2nd line forwards: Meta Knight (1812), Makrus "The Tater" Jager (1141), Thomas Liebold (1063)
3rd line forwards: Johnny FourStar (1012), Klaes Ashford (968), Lev Lebedev (801)
4th line forwards: Pyotr Gallen (722), Inactive Forever (700), Lily Jin Morrow (628)
The Vancouver Whalers are the 11th best average TPE team of the teams (1214.45 TPE). Their goalies are decent for where they are, having the 9th best TPE (1089 TPE). Their defense is in line with their average TPE, being 12th as well (1226 TPE). With the forwards dragging up the average a bit, having the 9th best forwards (1229.583 TPE). Their first line is a middle of the table first line, having the 7th highest TPE (1716.166 TPE).

Yukon Malamutes:
1st goalie: Enes Gündoğan (1391)
2nd goalie: Zhen Roza (484)
1st line defenders: Jayson Aittokallio (1873), Sydney Shaw (1259)
2nd line defenders: Ryuuji Kawashima (1211), Patches The III (1210)
3rd line defenders: Clint Clampton (1105), Furious Chicken (1094)
1st line forwards: Reed Kobo (1957), Oles Kobliska (1660), Videl Valor (1431)
2nd line forwards: Alvin Wong (1247), Ray Alexander (1075), Theodore Svatoš (1067)
3rd line forwards: Ryu Jones (1034), Bobby Tkachuky (677), Florian Söderberg-Motyla (675)
4th line forwards: Stephan Gill (617), High Haschdi (611), Josh Latreille (582)
Onto the final team, and only the most recently rebranded team, with the Yukon Malamutes (also includes the Anaheim Outlaws). YUM has the 13th highest average TPE (1113 TPE), with their goalies being the 10th best of the league (937.5 TPE), and the 10th highest defensive teams (1292 TPE). Finally their forwards, who are the 14th best of the teams (1052.75 TPE). Finally their first line, which is the 13th best first line of the league (1595.166 TPE).

Thanks for reading this article, I hope it was fun for at least somebody to know this information. Just a quick FYI all data was gathered towards the end of last seasons regular season. This indeed means there could be different players, different TPE by regression, or different TPE by new earning if checked today.

3701 words
For the people interested in the data:
Google sheets of the data

**Lime** · 02-04-2024, 06:49 PM

@Nhamlet we gotta stop meeting like this

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