Miller's Scuba Experience

And so after two straight encounters with clowns, Rehn Miller decided to go under water this week. Besides when he was on the ice for Team World, Rehn Miller spent all his time this week scuba diving 10 minutes off the site Team World's training grounds in Korea. Phuk U' Scuba, one of North Korea's best scuba companies offered Miller an endorsment deal which included a free week of unlimited scuba tours. Near the end of the week, we at the NWJHL Network were invited to join Miller. Let me say we got the best end of that deal as halfway through the tour, Miller swam by a family of clown fish...."I still have hand marks on my arm for how hard he hung on to me. I have never seen a 17 year old that scared before....he may be scarred for life." said Dan Rosten of the NWJHL Network. Miller is apparently more scared of clown fish then he is of actual clowns. He is currently in his hotel room in Thailand trying to forget about that horrible experience and is expected to make a full recovery....some time in S16



Vitikka no more

And it looks like this will be our last ever report on Tuomas Vitikka. Donini, Vitikka, Schultz, Smith, Swerin, Cerilli and Watson were in Madagascar last Sunday for the Annual NWJHL Prospect Camping Event before the start of the Olympics. Swerin and Vitikka were have believed to have left the surveilled camp ground to go and get some food for the others. After the two hadn't returned for about 7 or so hours the coast guard was sent in to go check. Here's what Fanomenzana Ainaus of the MCG had to say "Tuomas and Shawn we're both found unconscious at the bottom of a waterfall with scratch and bite marks. Shawn is expected to recover fully but Tuomas is to be pronounced dead soon. We believe they were attacked by a pack of rabid squirrels."



World vs Cerilli

Team World may be performing horribly on ice with 1 win in 9 games but that isn't stopping them from fooling around behind the scenes. A recent TMZ report shows that Team World is 1st place in the pranking department, however their latest one may have gone too far. Defenseman Drizzy Drake and Brandon Cant snuck into the bathroom while roommate Angelo Cerilli was in the shower and filled his Aloe Vera Gel bottle with a very strong aftershave, took his clothes and hid in the closet in the bathroom. After getting out of the shower Cerilli shaved and then put what he thought was the Aloe Gel on his face letting out a scream louder than the scream Rehn Miller let out when he got stuck in that haunted house of clowns. Just as he started screaming, Drake and Cant jumped out of the closet took his towel and ran. Cerilli was spotted chasing them throughout the hotel and even ran across the lobby just as Montreal Impact Co-GM Ben Wong was walking in, Wong was supposed to be interviewing Cerilli later that day about the upcoming draft. Drizzy Drake had som comments on the prank. "That had to be our best prank.....Team World has been competing to see who can pull the best prank and i think we just won it. That scream was classic."



Schultz the collector

Last week we learnt about Tuomas Vitikka and his huge pony collection but today we look at a collection so big, so different, so crazy that it'll blow your mind; Roman Schultz and his...yup you guessed it.....pokemon collection. Turns out Schultz has been an avid collector of pokemon since his 8th birthday when his dad's cousin's uncle's brother's son's next door neighbor lost his pokemon cards. Now it just so happens that this boy's next door neighbor (incase you're one of the slower members of this league) is also Roman's next door neighbor. Roman found those hockey cards and being the greedy evil spoiled child that he was , he kept the cards. From that moment on a legendary collection began. According to his parents, Roman spends on average 3,500$ per year on phurchasing pokemon collectibles and memorabilia. Obviously this number should go up substantially with the 2 million dollars Schultz should make in the NWJHL next season. Roman Schultz's collection has even made the Guiness Book of World Records as the biggest Pokemon collection and was a top 5 bid for biggest collection. We caught up to Schultz's younger brother Ryan to learn more. "Roman is obsessed with his pokemon collection. He has EVERYTHING Pokemon. His bed sheets are pokemon, his room is pokemon themed, he has over 10,000 pokemon cards, most of his clothes are pokemon all his school suplies are pokemon he even has a pokemon practice jersey for hockey. I don't think Roman owns anything that isn't pokemon. Even his condoms are pokemon themed by the way please don't tell him i saw those or it'll be the last thing i see." In all of this we were unable to find out which his favortie pokemon is (p.s. this is the part where you ambush him until he gives in )



A Third Collector??

Just when you thought they couldn't get weirder, an NWJHL prospect found another strange collection. Last week we saw this prospect's strategy in order to clinch a starting position and be the only goalie to never get scored on and this week we see the collection resulting from this. The world's biggest McDonald's happy meal collection. Yes that's right you heard right, goalie prospect Mike Verminski is a serious collector of McDonald's happy meals. He collects happy meal toys, happy meal bags and some times even happy meal food! Not only does he collect all that but he even collects regular McDonald's memorabilia including Ronald McDonald shirts, special edition cups and even a Ronald McDonald statue. A similar collection from UK boy Luke Underwood has an approximate value of 10,000$ on the other hand, Mike Verminski's much much much larger collection has been valued 860,000$.....not to bad for McMemorabilia. Mike spoke to us about his collection. "This collection is not only stuff i've been collecting since i started my extremely genious strategy, i've been collecting McMemorabilia since my first happy meal was given to me at age 5."



Smith's FIFA Experience

Dave Smith should be hired as the lead graphic designer for FIFA 13 as he took the realism of the ever popular soccer (aka football) video game to a new level last week. Smith was in England last week watching the UEFA Champions League Finals between Internazionale FC and Manchester City when he pulled out an Xbox controller and began using it like as if he was playing the video game. According to other spectators Smith was concentratedly playing with the controller and would occasionally even let out screams of emotion...those random screams you let out when you're upset or excited while playing FIFA. The man who managed to snap the picture had some words with us. "That was probably the highlight of the game for me...seeing him just sitting there acting like he was playing FIFA while he was at the actually soccer game i really don't know if he was trying to get attention or weither he was serious but that has to be the funniest thing i've seen for a long time."



Donini's Run-Ins

Everybody has had embarassing moments when trying to impress the people they like be it something really small like spilling their drink on them or something really embarassing like being pants'ed by your friends but i don't think anything can get as bad as Donini's constant history of pole running. Donini had this week what is now believed to be his 7th pole run-in since turning 14, 2 years ago. Donini was hanging out with some of the other italian players in Lake Placid this week when they walked by a group of attractive girls. Donini attempted to impress one of them and ended up face first in a pole. Donini explained his little experience to us "I was walking with the same group of teammates that I would chill with everyday. Well this day this girl that we had seen walked by with her really hot friend. Well I tried to be chill and get her attention, and sadly I got both their attention and the attention of my teammates as i walked straight into the huge pole that I didn't notice. To make matters worse, once we got back to the hotel, I was talking to this other real hot broad and I was walking backwards, and again ran straight in the pole."



well that's it for this week, be back next week as we will be bringing to you the headlining stories of the NWJHL right here on NWJHL Weekly