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bbp · 07-06-2017, 02:09 AM

The Barlow Boys are Coming to a SMJHL Team Near You!

The SHL is full of weak individuals. People who have forgotten what it means to play hockey. They run into the corners stick first, afraid of contact. The Barlow Boys are from a far superior stock. Unadulterated, the Barlow Boys are here to bring back the rough and tumble ways of hockey. They will not play nice on or off the ice. Tommy has a message for SMJHL and future SHL general managers.

â€œWe have a few simple rules. We will sign together and we will play on the same line. If you can do that for us then we will battle for you. If you cannot do that donâ€™t message us. That is all.â€

Short and sweet Tommy Barlow has laid out exactly what him and his brother Timmy want to do with their SHL/SMJHL careers. The SHL has not seen a duo like this before. Twins Tommy and Timmy will not be beaten down by the SHL and her delicate cultural tradition. They are being fair and honest. If you can accommodate their needs they will die for you. If you try to play hard ball with them they will make a big ass public stink about it so please donâ€™t. They just want to enjoy the SHL their way.

Why should we play on the same line?

We are built to play together. Timmy Barlow is the finisher and Tommy Barlow is the passer. We will have close to identical builds designed to compliment each other. Every line maker should recognize the importance of balancing shooters and passers and the Barlow Boys are a ready made package! Their chemistry will be fabulous. We also believe that physicality is distinctly missing in the modern SHL as the harsh update scale makes it difficult to develop your offensive game when you are dumping TPE into checking. We will work to balance out our builds, not the Charlybâ€™y route here, so we believe we can contribute at a high level for our SMJHL side.

Now for a brief look at the SMJHL teams and Tommy Barlowâ€™s take on them.

Detroit Falcons

Falcons have an aggressive looking bird as a logo. I can get behind sporting this logo on my chest. I believe our aggressive play style will lend itself to this rough and tumble city. The fans would love us. Plus we look good in red.

Halifax Raiders

Another great option for the Barlow Boys. The east coast of Canada has plenty of Irish connection so we would feel at home here. Raiders is a strong name and I believe we are great ambassadors to this brand. We come in quick and hit shit. Seems like a great fit. Black is a very intimidating colour on the Barlow Boys.

Montreal Militia

Militia guard us. Militia fight for us. The Barlow Boys can embrace this image. Montreal is the mecca of hockey and it would be great to play for fans who appreciate the game the way Montreal fans do. Maroon is a healthy colour, brings out the fire in our eyes.

St. Louis Scarecrows

The Scarecrows are close to our hearts and it would be fun be a part of this franchise. Awesome colour scheme here, though the Barlow Boys would be doing their best to scare more than just crows.

Colorado Mammoths

The Barlow Boys are colossal players. Big frames and big personalities. This fits the brand of the Mammoths. While Ireland does not have anything close to the mountains of Colorado I believe we could get into the mountaineering culture.

Kelowna Knights

Knights. Combat. Yes. We could easily represent this franchise. Green is the colour of our native land as well which would make it a joy to don their jersey. I know Timmy has a particular affiliation to this region of Canada for some reason as well.

Prince George Firebirds:

Firebirdsâ€¦ I can get behind that. Prince George is rural and rural folks love physical hockey. I know the loggers of BC would love our game. The teamâ€™s colours are fierce, just like us.

Vancouver Whalers

Whaling is rough work. Whales are big animals. We are big and rough players. Seems like a good fit to me! The colour green is always attractive to Irishmen. We would have no issue suiting and representing Van City.

Conclusion

We will sign anywhere. No favouritism here. We just want to play together. The only thing that matters is if a team can guarantee the same line. Bonus points will be awarded for a team willing to put a point in physical for our line. 1-1-3 anyone? Maybe 2-0-3 hehe or 3-1-1 :D just kidding you donâ€™t need to run a 3-1-1â€¦ maybe for the last sim though? If playoffs are guaranteed?

PM ME PEOPLE

Words: 802

JLysohirka · 07-06-2017, 02:30 AM

I Timmy Barlow approve this message! Ireland

Allen · 07-06-2017, 07:12 AM

Timmy and Tommy Smile

)

TML99 · 07-06-2017, 08:25 AM

I hear the Irish love St. Louis Ireland

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