Login

***Inf1d3l*** · 10-21-2018, 05:19 PM

With the draft growing ever closer, incoming prospect Barret McCarthy has signed on to his first product endorsement of his young career.

Pharmaceutical company Throb & Phirm has signed with the young rookie to introduce their new stamina enhancement pill, Evergrown. Also known under the pseudonym Myshaftsafloppin, Evergrown is a natural, safe, and effective supplement taken fourteen times daily to help increase your daily stamina. Clinical trials have shown an almost 2 percent increase in daily stamina versus those who were not stuck with a cattle prod in a laboratory.

This safe and effective new supplement has a patented formula proven to make you not understand any of the ingredients on the label. Our formula penetrates deep into your stomach, digesting the pill you take, and if not regurgitated, is expelled through your urine.

This pill has not been approved, submitted, or even had its existence known to the FDA in any way, and is sold in five hundred 100mg bottles. Such a potent formula may typically sell for upwards of five hundred dollars, but thanks to our new sponsorship, we are able to market it to you for the low price of $499.95.

Evergrown is not available by prescription or over the counter, and can only be ordered on our website, ThrobandPhirm.Evergrown.net. Credit cards orders will be charged a $12 processing fee, a $15 shipping fee, a $10 liability fee, and all orders are non-refundable, and adhere to our strict terms & conditions which include waiving all rights to any legal action.

Side effects include: Dizziness, Bad taste in mouth, Blurred Vision, Exhaustion, Laziness, Homosexual urges, Heterosexual urges, Sexual urges, Impotence, Restlessness, Blood in urine, Anal leakage, Identity theft, Ability to taste colors, Mastery of pinball machines, Inability to use verbs, Craving for pumpkin spiced foods, Ability to talk with squirrels, Insomnia, Temporary coma, Belief that Fred Durst is talented, Wanting to be a Roman legionnaire, Allowing your mother to dress you, and Headaches.

If you experience any of these side effects, please do not consult your doctor, or admit yourself into an emergency room. In our clinical trials, all the side effects lasted no more than a few years. If you experience multiple side effects, increasing your dosage of Evergrown can, in fact, decrease the potency of the effects due to raising your blood toxicity level to a point where your blood cells no longer function properly.

Evergrown, a natural stamina enhancement pill, on the market now, get yours today (before the FDA finds out).

Due to the absurd and terrible reviews by everyone, the SHL has chosen not to enforce the substance abuse policy, as only a moron would consider this pill.

(445 words)

***luke*** · 10-21-2018, 05:22 PM

Ill take 22 of them please

Navigation

Extra Menu

About us