DISCLAIMER: This report is currently unverified by the Halifax Raiders. Statement from the Raiders is encouraged.

Al Kayhall, Hamilton Steelhawks. What do these things have in common? They have a cup! While the city of Hamilton is celebrating the win for Kayhall and looking forward to his return to Hamilton next year with some SHL experience under his belt, there appears to be one person in the locker room dreading his return.

"I'm out here trying to celebrate the fact that Halifax has a true SHL winner coming next year and this fucking disaster is sitting at the bar ranting to anyone who will listen" says one patron of the local watering hole.
"Yeah, I'm not sure what his deal is but I went to the washroom and he came out of the stall just ready to go and rubbing his nose, like it was itchy or something? It was weird. Anyway, as I go to wash my hands he turns to me and says 'Fuck Kayhall dude, he's a fucking bum. Why does this asshole get all the attention around here?' and then he punched the mirror. Seemed completely unfazed at the broken glass and just walked out like nothing happened" says another patron, eager to spill some Thicc Cheezy dirt.

I asked the bartender about whether or not Thicc Cheezy was in the bar tonight and he had this to say "I think a better question would be when is Thicc Cheezy NOT in the pub? Yeah he was here, he was definitely a little off tonight. Kept turning to people ordering drinks saying weird shit like he was the best player on Halifax, he will lead the team to the cup this year, just really weird stuff. I needed to tell him to shut up about a dozen times. He was relentless tonight. At one point he just looked at me and yelled 'HE DOESN'T DESERVE IT' when I asked him to stop yelling he just yelled again and said 'HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING, HE GOT ONE MINUTE OF ICETIME. A TODDLER COULD HAVE DONE WHAT HE DID'. The owner ended up needing to come downstairs and talk with him. Basically told him one more outburst and he was gone. Say what you want about Cheezy, but whenever he is in here he is usually a treat. Very polite and tips well. But tonight something was bugging him for sure, at one point I also needed to give him one of my rags, he came out of either outside or the bathroom with a bloody hand? I think he may have gotten into a fight. That's definitely not like him"

We reached out to Thicc. He answered the call, slurred out a "Hello?" We asked Thicc how he felt about a Kayhall winning a championship. All that was yelled at us was a drunken "FUCK YOU" before he hung up.

Halifax is behind you Al, we are all excited for your win and look forward to seeing you back in Halifax sometime soon! As for Cheezy, you may want to steer clear of that whiney man-child for awhile.




521 words

One minute is all you need according to my lovey wife.