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Zema · 05-14-2020, 02:30 PM

Words: 1723
Subject to Draft Media Bonus.

In this pretty big draft that we are now getting closer to each day (shocker), there are always some names that stick out. They can be funny, beautiful, intimidating, unique or just flat out good.
This list will tell you who are the top 20, based on a highly technical selection progress. My opinion. So, without further a do, here is the top 10:

20. Sven Gunnar @Southie
There is just something so simple about this name. Two first names are a lethal combo, and when they taste as sweet to speak as Sven Gunnar things become easy. However, the name is just too simple to rise any higher.

19. Aston Martin @Warner
If we just skip the fact that it is referencing a pretty expensive car, can we just appreciate the fact that his name is so simple and easy and good? Also, he's from Finland. Exactly what I was thinking! It shouldn't have anything to do with it, but I'm just imagining Aston driving down that Right Wing to cross the finishing line... Or something.

18. Am Sory @soryantyler
First time I saw his name, I didn't really think much of this D.C native Right Wing. But as I scrolled through the prospect list, I always just stopped dead in my tracks and gave a little exhale to his name. This guy will not be sorry when he just blasts past you on the flank and find a lethal shot to kill your teams dreams. But I will also not be sorry, because the name is just that good.

17. Marc Palicka III @BaseScoutX1
This guy must be royalty. Czech royalty that is. Why else would he have a III there? Or maybe his father thought it funny to give his kid that. Either way, I like the sound of this name. The royal numbers just makes it that extra little bit sweeter.

16. Lonnie O'Donoghue @Good_Ole_Kimmy
A late addition to this list is good ole Lonnie. Lonnie itself is an alright first name, but I am just so weak for Irish names. O'Donoghue is a great last name, and combined with the powers of a Lonnie it just becomes better. Lonnie.

15. Guðmundur Kristjánsson @Fluw
I mentioned my weakness for Irish names. I have the same for Icelandic! Probably the only Icelandic player in this draft, this recreate of a beauty will go high. On this list. As good as the name is, I just can't let my biases dictate this list. And therefore he only finishes 15th.

14. Ginger McAlester @Ginger56
One of two Gingers in this draft. The other guy has that as his last name, but I prefer it as a first name. Once again the Irish shines bright, and it just about beat good ole Lonnie. I prefer Gingers over Lonnies.

13. Johnny Shuffleboard @mee
Initially left of this list, he rose like a the storming winds through the list. Or fell, depending on how you see it. It's coarse, it's rough and yet elegant. As good as he is at Shuffleboard, we all have hopes of him being even better at hockey. If not, well. At least it's a good name.

12. Domenic Alessandrini @kylecorbett42
Ireland, Iceland, Italian. I love names from all these countries! And what do they have in common? All have green in their flags All countries are in Europe of course! This was initially really really high for me, and was one of the names that prompted me to make this list. Sadly, the competition grew too hard for him to be able to crack the top 10. But I believe in Domenic!

11. Boris Bison @tylerw30
He was originally not on this list, because I simply hadn't seen him. If Domenic prompted me to make this list, Boris is the reason it became a top 20 over a top 10 list. A simple and straight up funny name.

10. Rikard Bjerg @AgentSmith630
The 6'3 Swedish RD will start of this lists top 10. An unusual spelling of his first name with a simple but soft last name that feels both tingly and good to say out loud. There are endless amount of nicknames that can be created from both his first and last name. Most of what I can come up with has to do with hamburgers however, but someone with better creativity might be able to come up with something better.
Maybe he'll even be a good player!

9. Max Ripoff @guy
This American winger who was recruited into the league by his father comes onto the list at number 9. There is something powerful about having Max as your first name that enhances every last name following that. I can't really put my finger on why that is. Anyway, just imagining a commentator talking about someone named Ripoff is just so great. One can emphasize his last name in so many different ways and all of them just work out great. Anyway, this kid is likely not to be picked high in the draft, but maybe he'll be drafted slightly higher just because of this powerful name.

8. Igor Victory @Wearingabear
Is he Russian? Is he American? Of course not! This big, strong, offensive Finish D-man wouldn't be from countries like that. Igor has going for him one of the best first names you could ask for. It just rolls of the tongue with a short vibrant sound, and it feels amazing. What is even more amazing than Igor? Combining that with the last name Victory. Although he quiet doesn't reach the absolute peak that a Victory should render, he can still be happy to settle for an 8th place on this list.

7. Joker LeBlanc @CablePlays
Joker LeBlanc. Just say that name out loud just once. I shouldn't have to explain this Canadians place on this list, so I'm not really going to try. If a team is looking for an inactive goalie with a crazy good name to use as a backup for next season, this is the guy for you.

6. Juan Hunna-Pussent @AdamS
Who is this guy? Where does he come from? Doesn't matter. He has the name-game down to a T. Juan is an amazing first name, and I will hear no more about it. But, it's the last name that really caught my attention. Seriously, have you ever heard anything like this? I would love hearing Don Cherry try pronounce this name. I want to know exactly how much a name can be butchered by a single Canadian old man.

5. James Boxman II @siddhus
There is something so simplistic about this name. James. Of course he's from England, and of course he is a lanky tall dude that wants to find himself at the center of it all. There is just something so posh about being known as "The second". Who was the first? Why was he important enough to be called "the second" behind him? And why does a name such as Boxman need a sequel at all? Whatever the answers to these questions are, James Boxman II is simply a clean name.

4. Hennesey-Gallchobhar O'McGuiness @the_paytonium
Another player from Great Britain, but with an upgraded name. A double first name and an apostrophe in his last name, this beauty really needs a simple nickname for him. I've always liked Hennesey as a name, and McGuiness is simply a nice drink. Combing them with a fantastically silly name such as Gallchobhar and the very simple letter O, this is a smash hit that will take everyone by storm. He's also the straight opposite of Boxman II, as this guy is a bit shorter with a much wider frame. A last minute addition to this list, as he only signed up within the week.

3. Jöörgüštrâäd DuBølk @MCP_
Apparently he's Swedish. He's also a giant. 6'8 D-man with only 5 strength. Insanity. Not as insane as his name however. I have no idea how to pronounce that, and he even has a danish letter in the midst of that. Either way, it's so ridiculous that not having him be in my top 3 would invalidate not only this list, but the entire league.

2. Asceplius Perseus Flitterwind @CaptainCrazy
No, he is not a character from Harry Potter. He's Latvian. Maybe that explanation isn't enough to really describe just how much I like the name Asceplius. It's just so giddy and funny and happy to say. It is followed up by the more serious and hacky Perseus. Flitterwind. His name is Flitterwind! I truly don't think it can be so much better than this. It can, because he is number 2 for a reason. But there is just something very magical about this dude. This big, muscular dude from Latvia called Flitterwind. It's incredible.

1. Walrus Walrus @ThePandaGod
A goalie goes top (or bottom) of this list with a name that genuinely made me chuckle. There is just something so innocent about it, yet hilarious when you think about it. Is he a Walrus that is trying to infiltrate the league without anyone noticing? If he has a good game, will he become the Wallrus? Also, whoever named this guy Walrus as a first name to be followed by Walrus as his last name is a genius. There is just something so funny with two names following each other be exactly the same. Like with Joker LeBlanc, just say this guys name out loud. Walrus Walrus. How is that not a winner right there?

That concludes this list. If you liked it, don't forget to hit like and subscribe for more of this content. You can also check out my Patreon for... reasons.

***AgentSmith630*** · 05-14-2020, 02:36 PM

I have an honorable mention: Mr. Bud Light Lime Bud Light Lime. He's a late create, so he may not have shown up on your original scouting!

Also, Rikard had the nickname "The Ice-Bjerg" while playing in Sweden lol Biggrin

***sve7en*** · 05-14-2020, 02:45 PM

My man Bud Light Lime Bud Light Lime being so disrespected

*Good_Ole_Kimmy* · 05-14-2020, 02:58 PM

A lot of time was put into the name Lonnie O'Donoghue, Im glad you can appreciate the glory of it.

*Good_Ole_Kimmy* · 05-14-2020, 02:58 PM

05-14-2020, 02:45 PMsve7en Wrote: My man Bud Light Lime Bud Light Lime being so disrespected

Bud Light Lime Bud Light Lime snubbed smh

Zema · 05-14-2020, 03:12 PM

05-14-2020, 02:45 PMsve7en Wrote: My man Bud Light Lime Bud Light Lime being so disrespected

That's a name that in hindsight probably would've made at least top 15. Quality name, but too much sell-out to go higher.

Here is the source for that ranking

Zema · 05-14-2020, 03:14 PM

05-14-2020, 02:58 PMGood_Ole_Kimmy Wrote: A lot of time was put into the name Lonnie O'Donoghue, Im glad you can appreciate the glory of it.

heh. Lonnie.

***Fluw*** · 05-14-2020, 04:06 PM

I made top 20 ! Good article!

mee · 05-14-2020, 04:53 PM

Happy to make it! Johnny Shuffleboard has been a long time alias Wink

AdamS · 05-14-2020, 09:04 PM

05-14-2020, 03:12 PMZema Wrote:
05-14-2020, 02:45 PMsve7en Wrote: My man Bud Light Lime Bud Light Lime being so disrespected

That's a name that in hindsight probably would've made at least top 15. Quality name, but too much sell-out to go higher.

Here is the source for that ranking

what if hed added "Hulu has live sports" as part of it

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