The incompetent PGS Head is reported to be distraught after finally losing his easy job. After years of minimal effort and creativity, HO pulled the plug on the sad trainwreck of a PT team. The news that PGS was being replaced surfaced on the site, to thunderous applause. The PGS team doesn’t understand how such a dated format could have been removed.

“Why couldn’t the rookies just deal with the PTs the way we all dealt with the anthology PTs? We had such a good thing going, keeping the money rolling in and doing just enough not to get canned by HO. This is an easy job that has been around for generations of lazy users, now it got swept away by some bright-eyed change petitioners? What’s next, they’ll get rid of the All Star Committee?” said the PGS Head in a fit of rage.

The applause for the new adjustment died down quickly after people realized there was a 500 word requirement for the new deep dive format; begging for PGS to return has already started in the Kelowna LR. The SMJHL Players Association said in a statement that “there is no way in hell any of us are going to write that many words” and that they “secretly enjoyed the stifling confines of the PGS format.”

Next up on the Onion News Network: Is New England secretly deflating TPE before games?