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dogwoodmaple · 11-22-2020, 05:28 AM

(1,660 words, 2x draft media)

There are a few things that teams are looking at when they decide who to draft. Raw talent, work ethic, determination, locker room presence, and overall fit. The first four categories can be relatively easily measured, but how exactly do you determine if a certain player is a good fit for your team? For my player, it's easy. General managers and scouts can simply see how prevalent dogwood trees and maple trees are to each team's general area. The more dogwoods and maples, the likelier they are to draft me!

For dogwoods, we'll be looking at genus Cornus and two common varieties: flowering dogwood and pacific dogwood

For maples, we're in genus Acer and we'll be analyzing the red maple, sugar maple, silver maple, bigleaf maple, and the boxelder maple

For each team, I'll be awarding 0, 5 or 10 points depending on the plant's range. 0=nowhere to be found, 5=plants in the general area, 10=plants in the immediate footprint. And for natural habitat range of each tree, I used the wikipedia pages for each of the different species.

The more points, the better fit I would be in each city and thus the higher likelihood of that team drafting me. We'll go from most likely to least likely:

Detroit Falcons - 50 points
Dogwood - 10 points

Flowering - 10- the flowering dogwood extends all the way up to Michigan. Full coverage in Detroit.
Pacific - 0 - and as expected, the pacific dogwood is nowhere to be found in the Michigan.

Maple - 40 points

Red - 10 - like flowering dogwood, there are a ton of red maples in the entire state of Michigan. Ten points!
Sugar - 10 - Detroit keeps the maple love going here. It's right in the middle of sugar maple territory.
Silver - 10 - You know what Detroit loves? All sorts of maples. Silver is no exception.
Bigleaf - 0 - not bigleaf maples, though. Not even close.
Boxelder - 10 - Slide Detroit up north a hundred miles or so and the boxelder maples dry up. Luckily for the Falcons, Detroit is in the perfect spot.

St. Louis Scarecrows - 50 points
Dogwood - 10 points

Flowering - 10 - thanks to the Mississippi River, flowering dogwood gets 10 points in St. Louis.
Pacific - 0 - None. Zilch. Nada.

Maple - 40 points

Red - 10 - This is a close one, but I'm giving full credit for the red maple in St. Louis.
Sugar - 10 - The sugar maple has more of a midwest flair and is even more prevalent in St. Louis than the red. Another 10-spot.
Silver - 10 - Back-to-back-to-back dimes! Silvers are all over Missouri, Illinois, and northern Arkansas.
Bigleaf - 0 - Like so many, we start with three 10s and then run into the bigleaf buzzsaw. Nothing here.
Boxelder - 10 - What a comeback, though! Boxelders save the day with a 10. They're everywhere in St. Louis and the entire region.

Carolina Kraken - 45 points
Dogwood - 10 points

Flowering - 10 - the flowering dogwood is ubiquitous in the Southeastern United States. Carolina gets full marks here
Pacific - 0 - and as expected, the pacific dogwood is nowhere to be found in the Carolinas.

Maple - 35 points

Red - 10 - lots of red maples in the Southeast, good sign for the Kraken
Sugar - 5 - partial credit here for the pockets of sugar maple in North Carolina
Silver - 10 - more good news - there are lots of silver maples in the greater Charlotte region.
Bigleaf - 0 - good news does not continue...no bigleaf maples on the East Coast
Boxelder - 10 - but they end with a high note. Charlotte is right in the middle of boxelder maple territory.

Maine Timber - 35 points
Dogwood - 5 points

Flowering - 5 - take a drive just south of Portland and you'll see some flowering dogwoods. Half-credit.
Pacific - 0 - wrong coast for the pacific dogwoods here

Maple - 30 points

Red - 10 - You can't get that famous Maine foliage without red maples!
Sugar - 10 - Likewise, sugar maples are all over Maine.
Silver - 10 - This was awfully close to half-credit, but the range includes Portland, so full points.
Bigleaf - 0 - none. only about 3,000 miles off.
Boxelder - 0 - This is probably too harsh, but I'm not giving any points. There are some in New England, but Maine has no lover of the boxelder and will receive a big fat zero.

Quebec City Citadelles - 30 points
Dogwood - 0 points

Flowering - 0 - close, but you'd need to head much closer to Toronto to see flowering dogwoods.
Pacific - 0 - as expected, nothing here.

Maple - 30 points

Red - 10 - It makes sense to see red maples in Canada and Quebec is no exception!
Sugar - 10 - Back to back perfect 10s for Quebec with red and sugar. Could this be my new destination?
Silver - 10 - this one was razor-thin. We'll count it, though! Really good looking start to the maple section.
Bigleaf - 0 - and we'll take the L here with bigleafs. Pacific coast only.
Boxelder - 0 - No boxelders, either. What started out great for maples ended on a low note.

Anaheim Outlaws - 20 points
Dogwood - 5 points

Flowering - 0 - the flowering dogwood is not indigenous to California.
Pacific - 5 - so close! The pacific dogwood's range extends into Sequouia National Forest which is just a couple hours from Anaheim, so we'll give it two points.

Maple - 15 points

Red - 0 - the red maple is not indigenous to California
Sugar - 0 - the sugar maple is not indigenous to California
Silver - 0 - the silver maple is not indigenous to California
Bigleaf - 10 - there are absolutely bigleaf maples just outside of Anaheim, so they'll be getting a full 10 points.
Boxelder - 5 - there's definitely some boxelder maples on the far outskirts of Anaheim, which will result in five points.

Vancouver Whalers - 20 points
Dogwood - 10 points

Flowering - 0 - wrong climate for flowering dogwoods, I'm afraid.
Pacific - 10 - but not for pacific dogwoods! Easy 10 here for Vancouver.

Maple - 10 points

Red - 0 - Wrong side of the country for red maples. Nothing in the Pacific Northwest.
Sugar - 0 - Like the red, sugars are also noticeably absent from Vancouver.
Silver - 0 - Yikes. Not looking good here for the Whalers as my new destination.
Bigleaf - 10 - Bigleaf is trying to save the day here for Vancouver. They get a perfect 10 as they're right in the middle of the range.
Boxelder - 0 - Boxelders have a huge range in Canada, but it's simply too far away to give them anything but a zero.

Colorado Raptors - 10 points
Dogwood - 0 points

Flowering - Not surprising that there aren't any flowering dogwood in and around Denver
Pacific - Denver is closer than a lot of these cities, but still not close enough to get points here

Maple - 10 points

Red - 0 - No red maples anywhere near the Raptors' home, unfortunately.
Sugar - 0 - And like the red maples, sugar maples just aren't in Colorado.
Silver - 0 - And that's the trifecta. No reds, no sugars, no silvers.
Bigleaf - 10 - I'm giving the Raptors a full 10 points. There are enough pockets of bigleafs in Denver to save them from no points at all.

Kelowna Knights - 10 points
Dogwood - 5 points

Flowering - 0 - less than ideal start for Kelowna. No dogwoods that far north.
Pacific - 5 - partial credit...Vancouver isn't that far away and they have some pacific dogwoods.

Maple - 5 points

Red - 0 - Canada has some red maples, but not anywhere near Kelowna.
Sugar - 0 - Same story here for the sugar maple. No dice for the Knights.
Silver - 0 - Broken record. Really horrid start to the maple category for Kelowna.
Bigleaf - 5 - finally! Bigleaf maples result in five points thanks to the western Canadian coast.

Newfoundland Berserkers - 10 points
Dogwood - 0 points

Flowering - 0 - bad start for the Battleborn. No flowering dogwoods at all.
Pacific - 0 - not looking good at all...another goose-egg

Maple - 10 points

Red - 10 - St. John's is covered by the wonderful red maple!
Sugar - 0 - there's some sugar maples in Nova Scotia, but this is not the Nova Scotia Berserkers.
Silver - 0 - we're headed in the wrong direction with silvers. Nothing in Newfoundland.
Bigleaf - 0 - after a hot start, we've got our fourth straight zero. Not ideal.
Boxelder - 0 - Man. This looked like a great maple-fest. It just wasn't to be.

Anchorage Armada - 5 points
Dogwood - 0 points

Flowering - 0 - the flowering dogwood is not indigenous to Alaska.
Pacific - 0 - the flowering dogwood is not indigenous to Alaska.so close! The pacific dogwood's range extends into Sequouia National Forest which is just a couple hours from Anaheim, so we'll give it two points.

Maple - 5 points

Red - 0 - the red maple is not indigenous to Alaska

Sugar - 0 - the sugar maple is not indigenous to Alaska
Silver - 0 - the silver maple is not indigenous to Alaska
Bigleaf - 5 - I'm giving partial credit here because there are bigleaf maples in southern Alaska.
Boxelder - 0 - the boxelder maple is not indigenous to Alaska

Nevada Battleborn - 5 points
Dogwood - 0 points

Flowering - 0 - bad start for the Battleborn. No flowering dogwoods at all.
Pacific - 0 - not looking good at all...another goose-egg

Maple - 5 points

Red - 0 - I really don't think the Battleborn will be picking me, because I doubt they've even seen a maple tree. Nothing for the reds.
Sugar - 0 - like the red maple, sugar also gets zero point.
Silver - 0 - stop me if you've heard this one. Zip, zilch.
Bigleaf - 0 - Close, but you'd have to drive on more than one tank of gas to get any bigleafs.
Boxelder - 5 - Finally! It's not full credit, but there are boxelders in southeastern-ish Nevada. Five points!

Conclusions:

Detroit and St. Louis are the clear leaders. I could definitely see myself winding up there at the top of the second round.
Carolina and Maine are just behind them and I certainly wouldn't mind staying on the East Coast. Maybe I won't be moving at all if the Timber pull the trigger on me.
Nevada and Anchorage? No chance. 0%. They hate dogwoods and they don't know much about maples. I'm not sure what I did to irritate these franchises, but I just don't see it based on the science listed above.

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