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natedoeshockey · 06-13-2021, 05:58 AM

Save my first time bonus again, and hit me with that sweet 2x draft media bonus. <3

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Excuse English, for me is not so good, but am for today use practice much. Privet, am Patya Perevalov. Told questions people have for draft, am here for answer happy. Who is start, please?

*points*

Glasses man there.

Yes, uh, hi there Patya. My question is, how are you feeling heading into the draft later today?

Am good feeling. Have okay play in showcase, am show talent and skills good. Hope pick in draft soon by team for improve them because am want to win. Am winner big always.

Who next question is?

*points*

Yes brown-hair lady, is pretty to me.

*rolls eyes*

Whatever you say, Mr. Perevalov. My question pertains to yesterday’s games. You’re coming off the playoff showcase where you had 3 goals and an assist for a +2 rating. That said, you were held to just 2 goals for a 0 rating against Tokyo, including game 1 in which you failed to register a point. The Tokyo Yoshis are a team that you previously dominated in the showcase. What happened out there on the ice today?

*grins ever so slightly at the reporter*

Am not have you before game in room is happen. If have number of phone, am better player, no?

*winks, then chuckles slightly along the men in the room who just outed themselves*

Is…how you say in America? Is just joke.

*stares angrily*

While I can assure you that I appreciate a good joke, Mr. Perevalov, that was tasteless and demeaning. I don’t know how things work back in your hometown of Omsk, but here in America, sexual harassment is no laughing matter, and I won’t be spoken to in that manner, simply for being a woman.

*looks puzzlingly at the reporter*

These words am not know. What “harassment” mean?

*sighs angrily*

It means that your actions are not wanted, nor appreciated, and that the continuance thereof is a violation of my person.

*continues to stare blanky at the reporter*

Am still not understand, but am see are you mad. Am sorry much, am mean not make enemy. Am not like enemies having, am only want Patya friends for to have. Am have mother Nadia, teach me love in heart for to share with world.

*face relieves of tension*

I get that there’s a communication barrier here, so I’ll let it go this time. Please try to be more considerate of people and their feelings in the future if you’re going to make a joke in poor taste. Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman, and you should make her proud. Let her serve as a role model for other hockey moms over the world to teach compassion.

*nods agreeingly*

Am have taste much excellent, love food for make me fast and strong. Nadia wonderful mother, make rolls best in Omsk! Am not know “compassion.” What means this?

*sighs in annoyance*

Just…can you please answer the question Mr. Perevalov?

Okay am answer, again am sorry much for make anger. Am not know how Patya time not dominate green lizard team. Some time, am have not skills for play good to win. Am today learn this word, consi-… con… sist… consistency! Am Patya have say right this word? Am need much this word, work on Patya for have more of this word. Am still think good hockey player is Patya, great showcase for show teams for see am bring much skills, am hard worker like father, Vitali, who am teach much Patya how for a man to be in the hockey.

Am sorry for wait, for who is now?

*points*

Man with headshine.

Uh, hey Patya. So uh, I was wondering, uh, what was it like playing under Bob Hartley in the KHL and winning a Gagarin Cup for your hometown, and the first Gagarin cup that Avangard Omsk has ever won?

*stirs excitedly*

Am like question much! Hartley is…how you say?... Is making much demand of players. Is make much demands of Patya. Is say to Patya, “Patya, am need you for play hockey best of ever for win bringing to Omsk. Am need for you team leader, make teammates for winner big as you.” Patya think Hartley like much father, is man of good. Am happiest moment in life when win Gagarin Cup for Omsk. Am make proud for Omsk, am make proud for Hartley, am make proud for family, am make proud for Russia!

*still slightly teary-eyed from emotionally stirring sentiment*

N-n-next is w-who?

*points*

Lady with yellow-hair who have much green dress.

Yes, hi, Patya. What do you think is your biggest hurdle that you’ll face in your transition to America and playing in the SMJHL?

Am sure hurdle of English biggest, no?

*chuckles with the room before looking at the lady reporter from earlier*

Again, still sorry much. Am just want for to give you re-memory.

* she smiles slightly, shaking her head as she rolls her eyes again*

*looking back out in to the general pressroom*

Am think playstyle change hurdle biggest for Patya. Am much fast, outskate in KHL all players. SHL players much fast, much strong, much skill, in Russia would be like Patya much – superstar of KHL… but Patya adapt. Am much cha-…cham…chaaaam…chamomile! Am have say right this word?

*a reporter in the room yells to him*

CHAMELEON!

*he chuckles along with the room again*

OH! Yes, this is right word. Cha-me-le-on. Chameleon. Patya is also today learn this word. Maybe am right at first of time, is English.

*still more chuckling ensues before quieting back down again*

Patya is chameleon. Am have skills for play hockey style of any. Am have not much defense skills, and have much offense skills. Am use offense for much making up. Patya always for himself responsible. Am not for be responsible of teammate. Am be much good player for team.

Am time having for last question.

*scans the room and points for the final time*

Moustache man.

*slight fist pump for getting the last question*

Hey Patya. I just wanted to know, where do you see yourself at the end of career?

Patya am much skill at hockey. Am see self in famous hall of SHL. Am winner big, win much cups, win much MVPs, win much hearts. Patya am first at hockey for Russia! Am best Russia player of hockey ever! Am make history much! Am make Patya time!

Thank much for you today for time having. Ready for Patya draft. Remember for follow on twitter @patyaperevalov. Am hope much good your day!

[1085 words: Microsoft Word, 1086 words: WordCounter.net, 1287 words: forum character count]

monochroma · 06-13-2021, 07:14 AM

banger

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