The light reflected off the surface like beads of moisture dancing in the wind. To the untrained eye it was merely ice and water, but for the true initiates, it was an intimate tapestry woven in a fragile world where every layer had to be picture perfect. Welcome to the oft hidden world of the ice maker, the zamboni driver and the support crew, without whom, none of our incredible highlight reel moments could ever exist.

We've all seen the great plays, the jaw-dropping dekes and the amazing passes, but have we ever actually stopped to consider what if there was no ice? What if the only guy with the recipe up and died and the games just ceased to exist? In such a tragic circumstance, the sudden lamentation would be deafening as a great multitude of hearts simultaneously broke across the nation and across the globe.

To prevent such needless agony, come the men and women of the Zamboni Brigade, an elite corps of highly trained and highly skilled ice technicians who know all there is to know about the fine art of making water hard. These brave men and women are our fist and final line of defense against the unspeakable tragedy of trying to play our beloved game in the shallow end of the pool. So please show a little respect as we take a journey on an in-depth profile of a true ice making god.

Billy Bob Dupree is a rather stout average looking man with beady eyes and a receding hairline. But don't make the mistake of being fooled by outward appearance, for inside beats the heart of a lion, and the mind of a magnificent ice guru. Billy Bob started his professional career as an aspiring  NASCAR driver in the friendly confines of his adopted home of Atlanta Georgia. Born and bred in the deep south, Billy Bob was a natural behind the wheel, turning heads and gaining recognition as one of the top up and coming drivers, until that fateful day when a horrible shoulder strain deprived him of his ability to turn left.

Just like that, all his hopes and dreams were shattered as everything screeched to a sudden halt. Billy Bob was still great in the straight-a-ways but could no longer handle the precision turns. Forced to retire at a young age, B.B soon became despondent and was driven to self medicate with his Uncle's rock gut moonshine. After years of downward spiral, one day Billy Bob attended a Carolina Kraken game and it changed his entire life.

Right there before his unbelieving eyes was this high precision metal monster known as the Zamboni! It was as if the hockey gods had reached down and parted the sea of despair just for him! And the greatest part of all? Billy Bob sat hypnotized in the stands and watched with his mouth hanging open whilst the great Zamboni sped down the straight-away and then turned RIGHT!! Yes I said a right turn! At the end of every row!

From that day forward, it became Billy Bob's sole purpose in life to learn all there was to know about the Zamboni and this strange world of cold and ice.

"You know, a lot of folk think making ice is easy. Like all ya do is add water and lower the temperature." Billy Bob chortled with a beer in his enormous paw. "But there's a lot more to it than that. You gotta wipe the top too!" The excitement in B. B.'s eyes was obvious. Clearly this was a man who loved his craft and his craft beer.

"I'll tell ya a secret. The key is to stay limber. I do ten calf raises a day. That's right a whole set of ten. That way my calf is primed and ready to exert and maintain just the right amount of pressure on the pedal." Billy Bob rolls up his pant leg to expose a hyper trained calf muscle that would be the envy of many a wheelchair bound athlete.

"The haters like to say a trained monkey could ride a Zamboni, but don't you believe 'em. I'd like to see a trained monkey with a calf like that." Billy Bob pauses to point down proudly to his most prized part of anatomy. "Besides, you gotta be tough in this business. One time I remember I was helping my Uncle Zeb spruce up his trailer when I hit my thumb with a hammer. Smarted like the dickens. But did you see me takin' time off on the injury list? Nope. The very next day, right back in the chair."

B.B. has a multitude of similar stories of guts and heroism, but time and space prevent us from sharing them here. "They'll just have to wait for the book," he chuckled with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "But what I will do," Billy Bob continued, "is take you on a test run so you can get a sense of the true power of this hulking beast."

No visit would be complete without a guided tour and a test lap on the machine that makes it all possible, so who was I to say no? As we buckled up and prepared to cast our fates to the wind, Billy Bob promised to guide me every step of the way. "Okay now, just a little pressure on the pedal. Not too much, not too little. Gotta get it just right."

"Now, go straight, go straight, go straight, that's right, keep going straight. Okay now, get ready. Turn right! Turn right!! Turn right!!!"

"Yah, that's not too bad for a city slicker. Now go straight, go straight, go straight...."

As we rode off into the sunset, I knew we'd learned a very valuable life lesson this day. Even if your hopes and dreams seem shattered, don't worry, there could always be a Zamboni parked just around the corner.

1016 Words

A proud member of the Season 67  Four Star Cup champion Maine Timber!! 



Maine Timber Alternate Captain! 

Thanks to @Merica for the sig!

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