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***Jexter*** · 10-03-2023, 09:28 PM

The Yukon Malamutes had their first two games of the season and through the first two games, their star player in Theodore Svatos (1G, 3A, +4) has continued to shine, scoring 30 seconds into the first game of the year. Ever on the hunt for perfection, Svatos has expressed disappointment in not being able to score more than the 4 points. However, new Left Winger and the main concern of both this article and this reporter, Langston Hardison-Laurent has been playing on the third line and has scored 2 goals, one in each game and recorded an assist on Jordan Tanner’s shorthanded goal in an impressive display of his counterattacking two-way game style in a jumbled situation that saw him on the first penatly kill squad. His 3 points are tied with the second most on the team and sits at a 50% shooting percentage. Hardison-Laurent also has the lowest TOI on Yukon though not noticeably different from the other rookie wingers on Yukon, of which there are many. Hardy Laurel’s first goal came in the third period against Kelowna. As the lamps lit up, Langston tugged out the collar of his Hawaiian shirt to show his doubters that he was still keeping with him nontraditional attire.

Despite the scoring success, Langston’s defensive output has been worrying as the winger sits at a -1 which is tied for second lowest on the team. His first game was particularly abysmal, being on the ice for 3 of the Kelowna Knights' 4 goals. His defensive play was better in the game against the Vancouver Whalers, but was still recorded an even plus/minus despite a goal again early in the third period. Langston has been spotted working on his defensive play in practice, but has stumbled in games due to the amount of abuse hurled his way by fans displeased with his remarks about Pokémon. His previous statements include the dismissal of Pokémon in favor of Magic: The Gathering and that the most punch-able Pokémon is Jigglypuff. Langston has also been seen kicking alligators while not wearing a shirt and in green shorts. Despite the light snows and highs of 5 degrees Celsius/41 degrees Farenheit, the man from Gainesville, Florida is still wearing flip-flops, sunglasses and swim trunks and was spotted grilling outside. He apparently has started letting his beard grow out as well, citing the extra warmth being good for him. He is also planning on having his teammates over for a barbecue soon as he is settling into a new condo unit near the Malamute home arena. Langston has, however, said that there will be a strict dress code policy as he indicated to what he was currently wearing.

About the other Mutes, since I have to mention them, though I’d much rather talk more about the new Florida Man of the SMJHL.
Other standouts on the Malamutes include new line mate for Svatos Squidwardo Tentacles (2G, 2A, +2) and center of line 1 Florian Söderberg-Motyla (0G, 3A, +2), and of course Goaltender Jim Wen who boasts a .918 Save Percentage on a staggering 85 shots through 2 games. Tentacles will need to work on his puck control as he leads the team in giveaways, however, his strong defensive play has limited the production of the opposition. His first goal came in the second period of the second game of the season and showed off some impressive cohesion with his new line mates. None of the other rookies have managed to notch their first goals as of yet, but some have managed to tally assists including Defender Jaxson Reaper and Right Winger Fred Bread, the new subject of the Weekly Crumb.

Mixed Bag in Odd-Player Situations for the Yukon Malamutes.
Though they have played less games than most of the league, Yukon has managed to have perhaps one of the best penalty kills with a 100% kill rate and 1 shorthanded goal in only 4 shorthanded situations, an early sign perhaps of discipline. However, the Yukon Powerplay has failed to convert on their two chances. These small sample sizes could be absolutely blown out of the water in the coming week where Yukon will play 4 games, facing the undefeated Maine, Kelowna, Colorado and Nevada.

Reporting irregularly in Yukon by Tapper Ib-Arelinoher, The Yukon Duwitt News 10-8-2039

Update: LHL has fallen off the scoring wagon quite a bit and is now down to a -2.

~750 Words

*CptSquall* · 10-07-2023, 10:24 AM

Approved.

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