NASA Scientists Concern about Shrinking Ice Caps


NASA Scientist xDPark (left) and Assistant Schultzy (right)

NASA scientists has just issued an announcement that the earth's ice cap is going to be gone by around 2060. This isn't the first time this has come to attention with various news over the century that has the melting ice caps with different year ranges. However, this is the first time that the scientists have actually had an actual defined date on when the ice caps fully melt.

"This is definitely a growing concern. More concerning this year than the previous year" NASA Scientist xDPark said. "For us to change it, I have consulted my assistant scientist for the solution"

We approached xDPark's assistant and this is what assistant Schultzy has to say about the solution:
"We have to make sure that we expand the ice caps. We can't let it be like this forever. There has to be a change in humanity. We have to reduce carbon dioxide emissions. We have to be more efficient. There is just too much we have to do"


However, it's not that easy. There has been protests all over the world about the new D420-bill that has been suggested about reducing the amount of carbon emission world wide to increase the ice caps.
"I NO CARE BOUT EXPANDING ICE CAP." one white washed Chineseman in Yukon said "WE NO WANT NO REDUCE ERECTRICITY."


Buk, the Chinaman against the expansion
The NASA scientists visited the white wash Chineseman, named Buk. Buk has a farm just north of Whitehorse. He owned a very expensive igloo. He also couldn't grow vegetables so they relied on meat instead. The garden was turned into cages. "Farrow me," buk told xDPark and Schultzy.

As they went inside, Buk lead them to the back porch when they saw two grey wolves. "Dis guy name whikadoodre" Buk told the scientists as he pats the bigger grey wolf. "Dis y I against da expnashuuuuuun"

Buk continued "I get aritifushur ice hurr so we get many wolf. if we expand ice caps we get less wolf cuz dey go there i be sad boy."


Less snow in Yukon in over a hundred year record
xDPark revealed that there has been less snow in Yukon for over a hundred years. xDPark wants to change that by implementing a fake blizzard to attract all the wild animal back before terraforming the place. This would be the first instance of this happening and might be shipped to other northern places if this becomes successful. The expansion would include a month worth of strong blizzard and would make the place inhabitable unless if you are a hardcore iglooman. There has been many protests about this including the southern platoon that currently went to Yukon for "special" military training program. They argued that if the place will be "blizzarded", then they will be forced to train in Russia.

"Why zey no blizzarded antartica in za first place"


NASA Scientists xDPark being forced to step down

The citizens of the USA are rioting at the moment to force xDPark to step down as NASA scientist because of the recent D420-bill. According to them, the economy would go down if the carbon emissions are forced to go down. "WE WONT LEAVE THIS STREET UNTIL THE BILL IS DISCONTINUED" said Mikko, a long time Seattle resident.


It seems that the expansion process is very troubling right now as 7.1 billion are against this.
It also has been reported that Schultzy ran away to Mexico and left xDPark on his own.

Previous Issues:
Texas Renegades Gang Tazes a Policemen
SMJHL investigated for fraud
xDPark's e-mail hacked

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