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Steelhead77 · 07-24-2016, 09:17 PM

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Three of the top recruits in the draft could see their value rise quickly.

We can tell a lot about a player from their skills on the ice, their attitude off the ice, their work ethic and their draft combine scores, but what we don't usually factor in is name value! How much does having a great name drive up your draft stock?

Today we take a look at 3 of the top names in the draft that will surely raise their stock above normal level.

#3 - RW - Fred Toucher: What is he touching? Himself or someone else? No doubt this players name makes you feel a little uncomfortable, that last name has a lot of implications. He's also only listed as being born in the USA, which is great, but no hometown makes you think what is he trying to hide from? Did he touch someone innapropriately and is on the run? Regardless, the 6'3" 230 pound sniping winger has potential to become a riser on draft day thanks to his unique name. Definitely one to watch.

#2 - D - Chadathy Brodangleschlong: What a great name! This guy definitely has some character. With a last name like that he's sure to have a top selling jersey among female fans. He'll probably do a fair amount of puck dangling on the ice, but in the locker room is really where the 6'7" 245 pounder enforcer will get his dangle on. No doubt he will disgust his teammates as he's probably one of those dudes who stands around naked way too long. Nobody wants to see that bro, put it away.

#1 - RW - Poon Slayer: With the top name in the draft we have none other than Poon Slayer! The 6'4 235 pound power forward from Intercourse, PA goes through women like nobody's business. Being from Intercourse, he's been slaying poon since a very young age. Rumor is he already has 16 kids from 17 different women. Don't worry if that's confusing, when you slay poon at the rate he does anything is possible. The dude is a machine. No question every team's Ice Girl squad is hoping they draft this guy. Should be interesting to see where he goes on draft day.

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