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Troy_McClure03 · 07-10-2018, 03:47 AM

(Prague, CZE) - We at the great nation of Czechoslovakia, and representing management of the UCORCAL group, are outraged and disgusted by the high, hard, and from our point of view illegal hit to the head of unsuspecting defensemen and national treasure Troy McClure III.

https://youtu.be/K_HLdt2_Kow

As the video shows, after an attempted pass from his defensive partner, Troy misses the puck. However. Viktor Valentine has already lined up Troy for a hit. Troy extends in an effort to retrieve the loose puck, when Viktor delivers an elbow directly to his face. This is interference. This is charging. This is an illegal hit to the head. This will not be tolerated!!

Troy was unable to return to the bench under his own power, and soiled his hockey pants. We at UCORCAL respectfully demand at the very least free dry cleaning services for our uniforms ,an apology from Viktor, publicly released, and that the refs for this game also be given concussions to see how it feels.

Troy has returned to Colorado where he is being submerged in a pool of stingray blood. We told him it would help, but who really knows?

To replace Troy, the UCORCAL has decided on Jean-Luc Picard. Picard knows his job, and intends to fill the big man shoes. We are very fortunate that he was available at this time, as a passport issue kept him off our original roster. Thanks for filling in J.L.P!!

(241 wrds)