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*slothfacekilla* · 01-02-2019, 04:41 PM

“WTF”
That’s the text that Halifax Raiders CEO Lim Jites says he gets five times per game from team owner (who mysteriously, nobody has ever seen).
It happened again on Wednesday night when he was watching the Raiders’ 4-2 loss against the Montreal Militia.
“He’s pissed,” Jites said on Friday afternoon. “And you know what it’s about.”
“He is fucking horse-shit, I don’t know how else to put it,” Jites said. “The team was ok. But Jimmy Slothface is terrible.”
The public frustration began during Wednesday's morning skate, when the Raiders' coach told the team that he was “fucking embarrassed” with the team’s practice and where they were in the standings.
For those in the Raiders’ front offices, that starts with the first round pick, who was given an assistant captain's role, and the player with more job security than anyone else in the franchise.
“I don’t get it,” Jites said. “The good news is the coach got everyone else to go and we found a way and we were able to make up for his lack of playing.”
Frustration has arisen throughout the organization about Slothface's play this season. Slothface currently only has one point, an assist, in the Raiders' first five games, while the Raiders are currently clawing for their first win of the young season. Annoyance about Jimmy Slothface’s uncharacteristic scoring issues bubbled to the surface, and Jites requested an interview with a couple of media members on Thursday to make the concerns public.

“We are a stars-driven league, and our star isn’t getting it done,” Jites said. “It’s embarrassing, and no one writes it. Write it!
“This guy is not good enough. He's not good enough for me, he's not good enough for the owner, and he's certainly not good enough for the brand-new general manager @Jearim, who I can’t speak for, but it’s not good enough for the front office or the job that @StamkosFan has done,” Jites added. “But we’ve had meeting after meeting after meeting. The accountability on the ice is not there. This guy was drafted high and signed to a big contract because he was a big scorer back home in Finland over the past five years. He gets his money, we expect him to not be outplayed every game we play in. And if he were as good as he's been in the past we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Slothface has already spent his entire $3 million initial rookie contract, his whole rookie salary after being drafted in the first round by the Raiders. He has 1 point in 5 games.

“It’s not about how much money. I don’t resent the money,” Jites said. “It’s about what we expect the money to be. You just can’t win if your best players aren’t your best players. And he isn't one of our best players.
“I am sick and tired and listening to bloggers and others talking about @"owenm43" , @sharksisback, or @Kalakar, or @Citizen of Adraa, pick a guy,” Jites said. “We’re just too good. The fans deserve more and the owner deserves more. And I share that opinion with the owner, the fans deserve better and Slothface isn't getting it done. Until he does we aren’t going to be good enough.”

Jimmy Slothface admitted after practice on Thursday that he needs to be better.

“Not good enough,” Slothface said. “I’ve got to play better. I’m trying to do a job, and I haven’t had the right results.”
“I think it’s pretty self-explanatory; if this team wants to get to the next level that starts with myself,” he said. “And that’s exactly what needs to happen, we need to get better.
“It starts with the compete in our game and when we are possessing the puck, I think that’s when we are at our best. I think we can definitely get our possession time up in the offensive zone and we take care of our own end first we are a lot better.”

Jites also gave some insight as to what he and the owner would like to see more of from one of the Raiders’ top players.
“He's the leader of the team, he stirs the drink, but he’s not doing it,” Jites said. “He’s got to get it done.”
Slothface has hit more posts and crossbars combined than any other player in the NHL, but that’s not an acceptable excuse, according to Jites.
“He’s hitting posts, ‘wah-wah.” That’s what I say about hitting posts,” Jites said. “Get a little bit closer to the action, actually go to the spot where you score goals. He doesn’t do that, he never does that anymore. He used to be a pest to play against, people hated playing against Jimmy Slothface, they don’t anymore. They say he hits the bars. I'll tell ya I hear he hits more bars off the ice than he does on the ice..."

“This guy has been a great player, but we are 5 games into this season and he isn't getting it done. We are going to sleepwalk to another last place and miss the playoffs.”

Before his interview Jites prefaced this whole conversation in two ways. First off, this was all on the record. Second, he said that throughout his career he’s never publicly commented on player performance, but with how bad Jimmy Slothface has been this season, he couldn’t sit by and watch the franchise get short-changed by one player.
“I take a lesson from @King here. He said you’d be really successful in this league if you never gave a shit about being invited to players’ daughters’ weddings, and that’s what I think,” Jites said. “I don’t give a fuck. I’m a year-to-year guy and I’ll be damned if a guy who has been as good to me as Halifax's owner — as good to this franchise — isn’t getting results, and this player isn't getting it done. I’m telling you, we are gonna run through a GM who does everything he can to make the team better because we aren’t getting results.”

Jimmy Slothface could not be reached for further comments. The Halifax Gazette stood outside the Raiders' practice rink for hours waiting for Slothface to emerge. When it became clear he was not going to leave the building the Gazette's reporters decided to leave. There are unconfirmed reports of Jimmy Slothface leaving the Halifax practice rink late at night, quickly looking back and forth as he ran from the parking lot. A Halifax Gazette news van was found flipped over the next morning. The Gazette's owners and the Halifax police are still looking into the possibility of Slothface's involvement.

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