So I originally just said to Kimmy that I would write 30 articles as a joke while waiting for my food to grill, but I decided to do it just so I can. Also Kimmy told me he would pay me 1 dollar(SHL), so now I will. Instead of spamming the articles and be an asshole, i'm just going to post all of them in this one article, and also to save the media graders valuable time. (Spoiler alert I only do 18) These ‘articles’ will be mostly just throw away stuff, but #11 and #14 you should read if you dont want to read anything else. The minimum I have to write is 100 words per media piece so here we go.
Oof, what can I say about late bloomer Aleister Cain. Or Slashmc to his friends. While Im writing about him he is playing Civ V, great game, but he should be focusing more on his TPE earning. While trying to find his profile he is unknown that I dont know what team he got drafted into. I have to look at every LR to find him. Turns out he is apart of St. Louis, also unknown. Boom roasted. But what he has done to tank is draft stock is not update for a couple weeks and then update it all. So I am here to tell all the GM’s PICK HIM 3rd round. He has 245 TPE now, plus whatever he gets from the end of season stuff. So lets all band together and crush his dreams, please and thank you. (141 words)
Slash also said something about leaked nudes of him, so I sent my crack reporter, myself, in to investigate these claims. AND WE FOUND NOTHING. Nada, zip, nein, fake news, etc. Slash is trying to spread the rumor himself to lower his stock. As the french would say, Shake my head. This is my message to Slash directly, if you did have nudes, me personally would have found them, but I didn't. You better straighten your act up or I will not endorse you for your presidential run in 2030. Though when you do run I suggest this slogan “Aleister Cain will reduce pain.” Just a thought though. (108 words)
Will the Kovacs ruin the Czechs chance at a three peat? More at 7pm. *its 7 pm right now* Hello, reports are coming in that the Kovac brothers are tanking the Czechs chances at the 3 golds in a row. Looking at the recent exhibition games it feels like that Oliver and Kristof are just sitting on the ice like 2 toddlers just learning to crawl. I really do feel bad for their teammate Pavel Pivonka, who has to put them on leash and lead the 3rd line. No wonder why both Kovacs have -11 +/- in 24 games. If I was the GM I would bench them both and give the ice time to beavers, as they would play better than both of them. (124 words)
BREAKING NEWS, we have reports coming in all around the globe that Kristof Kovacs Hockey Stick has 4 holes in it. Now some people at home might be asking, why the hell would a hockey player have holes on their stick? Well here at this news station we went directly to the source and asked him directly and he said this. “Well one day me and my bro Oliver were camping out in the wilderness of Canada, near a Tim Hortons, and we both realized that we were cold and there was no sticks to start a fire. So I had the best idea to cut holes in my hockey stick(I know who uses wooden sticks anymore lol), and we used it all warmth all night. And by the time we arrived to the rink the next day we had to start on the ice and we didn't have any backup sticks, so I went and played with it.” (159 words)
While we are on the Czechs I’m going to roast Alex Winters for this article post. Lets go by his forum name, 39Alaska39. First of all, he isn't even from Alaska, he grew up in Japan, and then moved to the southern states, lair! Boom Roasted. And he isn’t even 39, or 39 either, what a fraud. Boom Roasted. Who comes up with the name 39Alaska39 anyway, who thinks, “im going to put the same number around a state I haven't lived in and thats what Im going to be called on the internet. Boom Roasted. To top it all off, He’s a red wings fan, Boom Roasted. (108 words)
I'm going to roast every Czech I know now. Let's move forward with roasting this kid named Luke Thomason. Lol, who names their kid luke? Now everytime someone meets him everyone says “luke I am your father” or if they are a nerd they would say “no, I am your father.” Joke on them Luke doesn't have a father. Boom Roasted. What kind of last name is Thomason anyway? It's like the owner was thinking “well my first name is luke, and my middle name is Thomas, so why not throw an on at the end of the thomas, and call it a name. And Boom, that's how Luke Thomason was created, Shake my head. Now even a Czech name in the slightest. (123 words)
Now I’m going to roast the kovacs together, a 2 for 1 deal. I know I already roasted them at the wjc but there is so much to roast them about. Kristof, how does it feel that Oliver is projected to be a top 5 pick, and you are a fringe 1st rounder. Boom Roasted. Oliver, how does it feel that Kristof is the better looking one? Boom Roasted. Kristof, how does it feel every time someone hits you in the head, making oliver the better looking one? Boom roasted. Kristof, how does it feel that you won’t ever play 1st C as King will always take the spot? Boom roasted. Now I'M going to roast both of you, you play for the Halifax Raiders, Boom Roasted. 127
I'm going to roast Pavel Pivonka now. But I can’t roast you harder than Michael Scott. So just replace your name with Jim's name because I can't edit for the life of me. (I know it isn't 100 words but the gif makes up for it. And i'm counting this parenthesis 4th wall thing as words. (57 words)
Now I’m going to roast Caltroit_Red_Wings, our Co-Gm of the Czechs. The Czechs, Boom! Roasted. Mic Drop
I'm done for roasting for now. Let's move onto the WJC. You guys should really look at the WJC, seriously, this is the future of the IIHF, and it shows how many people will eventually come up to the IIHF. Though in general, people should write more about the IIHF. Its a special time, after each season countries will compete against each other, and people dont want that apparently. There should be more hype around it, more articles written about it. Make people excited about and want to represent their country that they chose. I just need six more words (100 words)
12. 13. While we are on the subject for the IIHF, I want to put something out there that I hope will spark conversation. During this reddit draft, right now we have about 30% inactivity, and 70% activity. Thats around 58 people active in the SHL. but that also mean around 20 people inactive. Now, I can say personally what really kept me around the SHL, is the Czech Locker Room. Even though we don’t have a lot of people in it, the LR is a great place to be in. We have people talking everyday in different text chats, either talking or joking around, it is a good time, and I found great people on that discord (Both kovacs, Alaska, Cal, DMS, schultzy, etc). And when I found out through various people that other countries locker rooms aren't that active, or only allow people on the IIHF roster to be in the discord, I think that is one of the reasons why people go inactive. Of course, they have the Rookie discord, but they don't know them. If you invite them to the countries LR’s then they get to talk to people of the same country and get excited toward the future of their Country, and maybe win gold with them. In the Czech Discord, out of 10 people that joined on the reddit draft(with 1 or 2 recreates), Everyone that talked on a regular basis stayed active. When you talk to people, you want to be apart of a community within a larger community, and that is how I feel about the countries locker rooms. You can help eachother out before the draft, so when the draft happens, you get to be apart of at least 2 active locker rooms, their teams and their countries. During the week or 2 of waiting around you can become inactive, so if you invite them to be apart of something, then you will keep them, at least at a higher rate. (328 words. So Im going to count at 11,12, and 13.)
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Ive been listening to a couple things going on in the S43 rookie discord and I would like to give my opinion a one in particular. The money situation facing rookies. So going from the SMJHL to SHL will bring different challenges. As Schultzy said that you will likely spend around 16 Mil a season in equipment and training. And the GM’s signing you, most likely dont have a lot of cap space to use on you guys, so you will have to take small contracts. If you dont have a ton of time, then you cant produce 10k+ words throughout the season, or a good amount of Graphics to make up the training and equipment. And if you do have a job, the job will probably be a 0-5 mil a season. Now I dont think the lack of jobs is the issue. Even if you raise the pay for jobs, that only affects a couple dozen of people. What I propose is to increase the pay of media and graphics, and have them at a balance. Because, like kings article a while ago, people can churn out graphics more than media and get paid better. Im not sure what the balance is, but 100k for 100 words is fine, but for newer players trying to get money together, that isnt a lot. Of Course I know there is a 2x media bonus for their first article, but not a ton of people will pull a King and have a 6k(or 8k I forget) article. I think that there needs to be a better, or easier, way for people to earn money to keep up with the uber competitive players. Of course, the more active players will keep on earning more tpe than them, or have a bigger bank that would have them survive longer. But people need to earn the basics(training and equipment) to be a top player in the league. (323 words, this will count at 3 articles for Kimmy because im too lazy to write all 30)
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Luketd’s Totally Accurate Mock Draft based on activity I see 1. LeShaun King, it's better to ask what he does not do. He literally does everything, even podcast. You guys should check out King and I’s podcast on 8/26/18 as we discuss the mock draft and post it right before the draft. You should also listen to our post draft podcast whenever that comes out
2. Luke Thomason, the less active Leshaun King, you should check out King and I’s podcast though
3. Tig Murphy, good player. I see he is active. He updates people and does graphics and media I think. 11/16 player. He’s a bust at the worse, Andrew McDonald level player at best.
4. Oliver Kovacs. No comment
5. Andrew Martin - Best memer I know, 11/10. Im doing these 30 articles for him to pay me a dollar in SHL money. I want that dollar.
6. Im at 150 words so I dont need to continue (150 words)
I think Im going to give up on article 18, I ran out of ideas and I cant think of anything else. If you read through all of this, Im sorry you had to read this. Dont blame me. Blame @Good_Ole_KimmyI think I lost brain cells typing this
08-26-2018, 10:05 PM(This post was last modified: 08-26-2018, 10:05 PM by Grapehead.)
Rookies who aren't producing a lot of media, or earning money elsewhere shouldn't be buying full gear and $1m training every week. Use the more TPE efficient $500k training, and avoid the pricey gear if you need to make your bank account last longer.
08-26-2018, 10:05 PM pid=\2483359' Wrote: Rookies who aren't producing a lot of media, or earning money elsewhere shouldn't be buying full gear and $1m training every week. Use the more TPE efficient $500k training, and avoid the pricey gear if you need to make your bank account last longer.
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