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AW13 · 11-14-2018, 05:59 PM

PBE PT Username: AndrewWarren13

***Inf1d3l*** · 11-14-2018, 06:55 PM

Where Are They Now - Waffles Man

Waffles Man, third round draft pick of the Detroit Falcons in Season 43, came into his rookie season with a strong outlook on his future in the SHL. Putting up respectable numbers that season, fans and experts wondered how he would fare going into his sophomore season. Unfortunately for Waffles, his outlook grew grim. Drafted by Seattle in the Second round of the Season 44 entry draft, Waffle fell off the face of the Earth, and so we ask, Where is he now?

After doing some research, we caught up to Waffles Man, doing maybe the only other thing his namesake would allow him to excel at. In downtown Detroit, Waffles Man runs a successful breakfast based food truck, serving hundreds of customers daily. Named Falcon Waffles, after his short stint in the SHL, Waffles Man enjoys his new gig. Able to serve the Detroit fans outside the arena during gamedays, he serves more than just breakfast. His waffle desserts are sought after before and after every game, and his Falcon Burger is a treat for anyone who has never tried it.

Asked about his previous SHL experience, Waffles Man simply says "It was something I was good at, but it wasn't my dream"

Waffles Man, still supporting his Juniors team, through wonderful food. Good on you chef!

Moosecop · 11-14-2018, 08:52 PM

NSFL PT

adamantium · 11-14-2018, 09:58 PM

"I don't know if I'm actually allowed to talk about this, but I guess I'm gonna fuckin' do it anyway and talk about an old friend of mine named Bojo Biscuit. (@.bojo)

Back when I was playing Juniors, in the system of the West Kendall Platoon, Bojo was a man who did things to me. Terrible, awful things, like forcing me to clean his mansion in a maid costume, or harassing me at the local Denny's because I actually wanted a Grand Slam and didn't have a personal chef to cook for me. Bojo and I never got to play together, but I'll never forget that man because he changed me. For good.

So what exactly is he up to now? God only fucking knows. I mean, the last time I saw Bojo? He was being arrested by Miami PD for public indecency after getting into a naked row with one of his thirty maids on top of several long-expired traffic tickets. He did get let out on bail after that, but it's only because of me. I mean, he called my cell phone about a day after I saw him getting arrested. This would've been... I don't know, three seasons into my tenure with West Kendall? We never actually played a single game together, but he calls me up and he says, 'Finn. It's me.' And I'm rightfully confused, right, so I say 'Me who?' and the jackass responds with 'Who the fuck else is going to call you at two in the afternoon from a fucking prison cell?!' And that's when I knew Bojo was about to ask me to bail him out of prison. Initially, I lead the conversation with 'Fuck you, you made me dress up as a maid and clean your toilet with a toothbrush,' but then I realized that this might have been the perfect time to keep tabs on Bojo and have a little leverage over him finally. So I said, 'How much is your bail posted at,' and he tells me the number and I say to him 'Fine. I'll bail you out. But you owe me, Biscuit.' I'm still waiting on the day that I can cash that one in, but you know, I think it'll be pretty fucking hysterical to see the look on his face whenever I do.

Beyond that though? I dunno, I wouldn't be surprised if he's working at a Popeye's or something. Fuckin' bum."

- Finn Kruger, on an episode of Spittin' Chiclets

sigs by me bitch

Ragnar · 11-14-2018, 10:21 PM

Brian Morley, the Los Angeles Panthers legend and first ballot SHL hall of famer, is living a life of leisure in his retired days. He has sired over eighty children around the planet with various ladies of the night. He runs a successful cocaine dispensary in Beirut as well as a successful kangaroo ranch in Australia. SHL News Today attempted to catch up with Morley, however he was on the run from the law here in America due to owing over $40 million in back child support, as well as being wanted for questioning in over 200 public indecency cases across the Pacific Northwest. Rumors are circulating that he runs his own strip club called The Boner Garage, but those are yet to be confirmed. What can be confirmed, however, is that he has lost an eye in a cock fighting accident in Tijuana. Authorities are on the look out for a one eyed male, possibly wearing a speedo and coked out of his mind.

Sigs by Me, Merica, High Stick King, Rum_Ham, Jess, vulfzilla, enigmatic, and Carpy

❤!! RIP to the big homies 701 and Mac !!❤

**Rich** · 11-14-2018, 10:56 PM

My former team mate, Kyle Wahlgren, aka Olli O’Koivu, was known throughout his career as a very good goaltender. One of the better ones in the league. Never the best or the worst, but always solid. The former Portland Admiral and Minnesota Chief ended his career rather suddenly shortly after a cup winning season in Minnesota. Now that his playing career is over, he has a lot of free time and a lot of money to play with. So, obviously he has taken to day trading. He spends his days wheeling and dealing in securities, working short term trades from his home office. His signature play is to slowly grind his way to a healthy profit, then lose everything he made plus a little extra on one outrageous, possibly illegal, move. This wild pattern doesn’t seem to bother him, if you didn’t know better, you’d think he enjoyed the thrill of defeat more than any level of success.

Jiggly_333 · 11-14-2018, 11:07 PM

NSFL PT

Player Page||Update Page

Jamie T Wrote:But I wish I'd been a little more exceptional
And I wish I'd been a little unconventional
But I was not enough, no, I'm not enough

Paq · 11-14-2018, 11:19 PM

PBE PT

wumaduce · 11-15-2018, 06:49 AM

Where are they now? Willie Mack

Mack was a high draft pick in the SMJHL, and he tore it up in the league. However, much like his other family members who played before him, he decided hockey just wasn't his thing after a few seasons. Mack abruptly retired from hockey and went to build a log cabin in the woods of the Pacific northwest. Mack took his contract money, bought all sorts of tools and supplies, smashed his phone, and decided it was time to live off the land and get off the grid. After a year, with the cabin still not built and losing his mind not being able to play Candy Crush any more, Mack decided it was time to go back to civilization. He moved to New Hampshire, where he got a job driving for moose seeing trips. He's a fixture in the local bars, and is one of the most well liked people in the town.

Nictox · 11-15-2018, 09:39 AM

Where Are They Now? Aleister Cain

After spending many seasons with Edmonton, Cain would fulfill his dream of being the big cheese. That's right, he's the guy you see in the giant Swiss cheese costume outside your local grocery store. Not only that, he moonlights as a very respected SHL ambassador. Over the years, Cain has had his hand in a little bit of everything. GMing for the WJC, in charge of the WJC, being apart of the IIHF, and most importantly a hall of fame goalie. Not only is Aleister the kind of guy you want on your team, he is great friend to have off the ice. While Cain had controversy early in his SMJHL career, by the time he hit the SHL he was a star. I cannot name the amount of goalies that started playing because of Cainer. So if you really need to get your cheese fix, head over to your local grocery store between 10am and 2pm, to see this SHL legend doing his lifelong dream of Cheese Dancing.

@SlashACM

RIP Dangel #AD26 | RIP TDZ

Toivo · 11-15-2018, 10:28 AM

What the heck is Julian O’Sullivan up to these days? O’Sullivan, once poised to take over the reins from Mikke Laukkanen has stopped playing hockey. Is it permanent? No one knows right now. Nonetheless, we decided to catch up with Julian O’Sullivan to see what he’s doing these days. We found him at a Boston sports bar doing some planning for his baseball fantasy pool for next season. O’Sullivan takes fantasy baseball very seriously and spends a lot of time planning stuff. O’Sullivan says that he misses the game of hockey, but his knees don’t. He alluded to his knees as the primary motivator for him calling it quits. He grabs a drink and reviews some baseball stats, looking for things that don’t necessarily stand out to the average person. He tends to read between the stat lines and it pays off well. O’Sullivan can live off his fantasy baseball earnings. He doesn’t have an outlandish lifestyle, but he maintains the one he had while playing professional hockey.

*thedangazone* · 11-15-2018, 10:33 AM

Where is Bar Downski now? After a tremendous career in the SMHJL Bar Downski kind of just stopped caring in his later seasons. It really looked like he was phoning it in. For those first few seasons though there wasn't many people on the ice who could match his talent. Edmonton had drafted him quite high and expectations were there as well as all the talent in the world. He was a nice guy too, real leader on and off the ice. Up until those last few seasons anyways. Downski can now be found working a desk job and living the family life. While the money is not as nice as it was playing hockey professionally he is enjoying his family life quite a lot. He still gets down at the ice for some pick up games occasionally too. You can hear the ping as it the puck goes in and him screaming "Wheel, Snipe, Celly." Some habits and talents just never leave.

164 words

Muford · 11-15-2018, 01:49 PM

http://probaseballexperience.jcink.net/i...st&p=47833

WELFARE

JumpierPegasus · 11-15-2018, 04:48 PM

Not a teammate for long, but a teammate none-the-less. Gareth Rush's very short career was shrouded in controversy and anguish for every team he touched. Drafted to Colorado and a rare hold-out, Rush was moved to St. Louis. After his one season in St. Louis Gareth went undrafted to the SHL and ended up going AWOL. St. Louis authorities and teammates searched for Rush for 4 months as the season began, and St. Louis was without one of its top 9 forwards. Despite his personality he was still important to the Scarecrows.

Rush was found 8 months after disappearing in a Kentucky gas station, where authorities arrested him for tax fraud and the Scarecrows subsequently terminated his contract. Years later, Rush now works at the local Waffle House in Bardstown, Kentucky, after getting released from prison after a 6 month term. His shot at an SHL career is over, and everything we know about him to this day is gone with the wind. All we know is he wasn't above taking everything down with him

enigmatic · 11-15-2018, 05:43 PM

NSFL PT

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