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Tracking Spreadsheet

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SMJHL S50 Game 74 - STL @ HFX

SMJHL Game 74 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: James Ronlain @Rankle
Team: St. Louis Scarecrows
Victim: Abel Skinner @"KC Philip"
Team: Halifax Raiders
Time: 16:25 of 1st period
Total possession time:  16:25
Hot po-take-to:
In a last ditch effort to prevent Ronlain from fully becoming a Potato, a few players and coaches from St. louis decided enough is enough. Instead of pandering to his insane ideologies and actions they banded together and started to dig him up. Slowly, and after a small scrum that sent dirt, leave, and roots flying all over, they were successful. The captain of St. louis, Aron Hernadivic, was seen giving an impassioned speech to the half Spud while the rest of the team helped prune him and brush away all the dirt. It seems that their efforts were not in vain as Ronlain actually laced up skates and decided to play like a regular human being. Surprise surprise, playing like an actual hockey player miraculously worked for Ronlain and he was able to fly into Abel Skinner, finally freeing himself from the Potato. The crowd erupted in thunderous applause and his teammates all congratulated him when he got back to the bench. No longer would he live underground! He seemed eager for the game to end so he could take a long overdue shower.

SMJHL Game 74 Advanced Taterlytics Report:
Posessor: Abel Skinner @"KC Philip"
Team: Halifax Raiders
Victim: N/A
Team: St. Louis Scarecrows
Time: N/A
Total possession time:  45:49
Hot po-take-to:
When Skinner was first hit, he was absolutely shocked. Was this THE James Ronlain? The guy who supposedly thought himself a Potato and lived underground? The Spud Lord himself? After he shook off the initial surprise of the hit, he felt absolutely disgusted. How long had it been that Ronlain was underground? How long had it been since he last showered?? Appalled, Skinner played the rest of the game dry heaving and trying to wipe himself off with the Lysol wipes the trainers were able to grab for him. Immediately after the final horn sounded, he ran to the showers only to find...he wasn’t so disgusted anymore. In fact, living underground doesn’t seem half bad! Uh oh...and so the cycle lives on.

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