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Snoopdogg · 09-07-2020, 10:49 AM

Doggs Realtor Inc.

Been so long I have written something here and with the influx of homes now on the market I have decided to look into the home market in the SHL. Looking quickly I have to say this, buyer beware! It may seem like a buyers market at first glance but when we look closely into it, it seems that the homes although carry a fair value might just be a trap, a curse some would say.

First we have Brady McIntyre, listed at $3 million dollars and situated out in the province of Alberta, Edmonton. This luxury home has a total of 12 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms with both indoor and outdoor in ground pools. Also outside by the gazebo in this 2 acre piece of wooded land we find a jacuzzi which seems to be on its last legs. Landscaping is green and with various colors come fall and is adjacent to a shallow stream which runs from east to west.

Next comes Tor Tuck, yep you guessed it, also listed at close to $3 million dollars, actually just a shade under but with millionaires like this who is counting. Tuck's home is similar in size to his beloved teammate but with a slight advantage on the landscape. His courtyard is overlooking the same river just across the McIntyre estate. Two kayaks await on a wooden dock built by his own Tor Tuck who enjoyed taking daily excursions on the stream and maintain a good regiment for upper body strength. Not the only activities available here, we find a small tennis court, olympic size pool and a shot put range.

If you have an extra million or two, take a drive down to New Orleans, there the home of Darnell Johnson goes up for sale listed at a whopping $6 million dollars. A home which has been revamped from top to bottom after Mr. Johnson was fortunate enough to put his hands on last season Challenge Cup. This championship has brought an influx of wealth and therefore added numerous renovations.

Next we head down to Newfoundland, right of the coast of the St. Lawrence river out in the boonies of Newfoundland, we find the estate of the recent 4 Star Cup Champion Steve Harrington. This bachelor pad lies on a piece of land of just over 12 acres and has a view of the open waters allowing any passer by fall in love with the settings. The home listed at $2,25 million dollars is not very extravagant compared to the others lister here today, but it does come with a ping pong table, foosball table and a giant pyramid (20ftx40ft high) consisting of empty beer cans which have been drank by the illustrious Steve Harrington himself and any other midnight friends to have come and enjoy their stay. Why such a steep price you say, well the property comes with a stable and 4 pure breed horses. Also the pyramid I mentioned earlier consists of 95% White Claw beer!

So we head out to Tampa bay where we find a makeshift home of Tom Fiddler! Asking price for this marvelous pile of junk seen here ...(bijoux) is $100k dollars. Plotted on a 30ftx100ft piece of shit land, Tom will add an extra $1200 dollars to the buyer and a box of matches only if the buyer promises and signs the agreement to burn it down! Why the $1200 you ask, this is to cover the deployment of the fire department expenses that will be laid on the new home buyers. What a guy!

Another home to hit the market in New Orleans, here is the grumpy but cool Aleister Cain, a goalie with an attitude so he stands firm on his price and there is no wiggle room for negotiating. With all fairness this is the most up kept home I've seen thus far. Its no wonder at that, as we walk the halls of this mansion which is listed at over $10 million dollars, we find monuments of Cain in various positions back stopping the Specters to last season Challenge Cup win. Also plastered on the walls throughout this mansion are numerous paintings of himself in different attires to different venues he has attended time and time again. Marble floors, mirrored rooms and apparently there is also a labyrinth for anyone wanting to go find themselves. Yep you got it, all the paintings and sculptures come with the home as seen on the listing.

There you have it, make your choice and do not let these butes slip through your hands, come by and make an offer! Please do not take offence to these remarks all in good fun.

Thanks Snoop

(805words)