Previous Entries
The 20 Game Mark
To Russia With Love
S55 Wrap Up

Dear Diary,

It's been an eventful and reflective couple of weeks. My rookie season in the SMJHL has come to a close and S56 is set to start in just a few days. I'm not even sure where to begin. Let's start with the draft. It was about as exciting as you'd expect a draft in a pandemic to be. I regret that I couldn't be dressed to the 9s with my best buds, surrounded by thousands of fans in one of the leagues finest arenas. Instead I spent my draft day alone in my apartment, in boxers, and a 3-piece suit just in case some media wanted to facetime me for an interview after the big moment. Alas, no such interview came. But it was still a pleasure to watch so many of my teammates get drafted. I think quite a few of us climbed more than a good chunk of those mock draft posts anticipated. Special shoutout to my boy Funk who saw a meteoric rise to the top 10. Most of those mock submissions in the first few pages had him going in the 20s.

I jumped about 10 spots higher than I was expecting myself, and was selected by San Francisco at 25th overall. I'm super excited and not very surprised to be heading to Cali. San Francisco was the first team to reach out to me and I felt we developed a pretty good rapport early on. I'm excited to have an opportunity to play an important role in bringing San Francisco its first championship. I haven't had much of a chance to be active in the locker room with how busy I've been, but I'm hopeful I'll fit in as easily as I did in Nevada. All in all, I'm pumped to be part of the Pride!

Because I was drafted so early I was hardly ready to call Russia and express my love for America, capitalism and the SHL. As soon as I heard them calling my name, I started scrambling over myself to get to my phone and make my big call. I burned with anticipation as I waited for the ringing to stop, and the phone to be picked up in Moscow. Finally, the ringing stopped and I heard a breath on the other side. I was ready. I exclaimed, "CHAD DANGER IS SAN FRANCISCO BOUND, WEST COAST BEST COAST BAYBEE, SUCK MY MASSIVE CAPITALIST COCK, I'LL NEVER PLAY FOR YOUR KRONY LEAGUE!" - What a rush. A wave of endorphins came over my entire body. I felt like I had uppercut Putin himself. I stood in my living room, shaking with pride in my boxer briefs. I savored my victory for what felt like minutes before I finally heard a response from the other side.

"Chad? Jesus Christ finally. What the fuck are you on about?" The voice was a familiar one. As I recognized it my heart sank into my stomach. It was my talent agent, James Bond. In that moment I remembered that he had gone to Moscow to look for Jimbo.

"Where have you been? Have you had a chance to review the evidence I left in your apartment?" I vomited all over the evidence the day after Bond had left for Moscow after hitting the keg a little too hard.

"Of course I've read the evidence, I've been extremely busy trying to manage my own career in your absence and haven't had a chance to return your calls. Have you found Jimbo?" I told the lies confidently and as far as I could tell, Bond ate up every word. I successfully portrayed myself as a responsible, dream client.

"Return my calls?! The first week I tried to call you it said your number was no longer in service!" Ah shit. I paused my service when the detectives seized stole my phone. I totally forgot I needed to be available for Bond. No matter, I was able to cook up another sly lie for my gullible agent.

"Yeah I think the Russians were interfering with my signals after I definitely read the evidence you left me. I've only recently been able to get connected again." A demonstration of my master deception skills, perfectly utilizing convenient circumstances to spin my own narrative as reality and cleverly hide my laziness, extreme recklessness and general incompetence.

"Couldn't you have used one of your teammates phones to call me? Or any phone in the city?" I stood stunned. I really was hoping he would get on with his point by now and give up on this never-ending line of unreasonable questioning. I stuttered, I tried to come up with another brilliant lie, but I was overloaded. Perhaps if I had sacrificed 10 or 20 less brain cells to the keg the night before I would've come up with anything, but this time there was only silence.

"You're a real piece of shit, Chad, you know that? When I get back to Vegas we're talking about my fees." He let out an exasperated sigh before continuing, "Look, listen, I can't talk long. My mission was a failure, I haven't found Jimbo or anything that could lead me to him, but I have stumbled upon a sinister Russian plot involving the SHL. It's too dangerous to speak details over the phone, but we'll talk as soon as I can get back to Vegas." I was disappointed to hear James hadn't learned anything about Jimbo, because I miss him desperately, but I wasn't surprised. He was after all, definitely in his hotel room enjoying his time as an invisible man.

"Sinister Russian plot huh? What kinda sinister we talking? And how is the SHL involved? Has the league been infiltrated?" I liked rattling the questions off one after the other. I felt like a cold war detective.

"Like I said, can't talk now. I'm getting on the next plane I know is safe. Take extra caution in making sure no one is slipping anything into your drinks or meals after this phone call, I think they may have used a nerve agent to nab Jimbo... And kid, congratulations on getting drafted, don't take any less than $3.5 Million, talk soon." And with that he hung up. I feel like a fool for forgetting I had a talent agent, and that he had traveled across the world to hunt for my best friend, and that I was supposed to be available to help him hunt for my best friend, but in general I feel the phone call went well.

After ringing Russia, I was contacted by my new GM and invited to the SF locker room. Though I've been quiet, it seems like a great atmosphere. The text channels are active, there are game nights with lots of interest despite some timezone challenges and our leadership core is a great bunch. I think I'm going to flourish on the pride. The team has faced some challenging seasons, but I'm excited to be apart of their promising future. The opportunity to bring a city its first championship is really intriguing to me and I think it presents a unique growth opportunity for an athlete to develop a real connection with their city. I've definitely felt this with Nevada, but I've especially felt this with San Fran because they have some recent heartbreaks. Mark my words, those previous demons will be exorcised while Chad is dawning the purple.

Next up on the offseason agenda following the SHL draft was the junior draft. Things couldn't have gone better for us here. We knew for most of the season that we were going to be looking to draft a centre with our 1st pick if a high tier player was available, especially with the disappearance of Jimbo. Rob Wright was a high profile recreate on our radar from the very beginning and when we heard whispers a few weeks back that Anaheim might not select him 1st overall we were thrilled! Rob has a real chance to go down as a Battleborn all-time great if he keeps up with his training. I'm excited to be his teammate. I heard he was hanging around the Frenchies in the summer though, so we'll have to see what that was all about.

Wright was our most high profile pick at the junior draft but he's definitely not the only piece I'm excited for. Jarmo looks to be a hell of a player, and Sniff helps solidify what is quickly becoming one of the Js brightest D cores. And who isn't excited about the return of Noah Johns? I couldn't be happier with how our front office conducted business at the J draft and I see us as big winners. Watching us kick ass at the draft inspired me to start taking my preparation for the upcoming season seriously.

In James Bond's absence I've been trying to be more responsible, y'know, try and make sure I don't ruin my entire career before he gets back. Following the pro draft I thought it might be a good idea to disable my social media accounts, I would hate to Leipsic myself. I was happy to see when I logged in to delete my Instagram, that people have started calling for the defunding of the police. This is no doubt in response to the LVMPD's disgraceful treatment of me and besmirchment of mine and Jimbo's characters. I want to formally and publicly thank every one who has advocated for this cause on my behalf! Defund the LVMPD!

I also deleted my Facebook and Twitter but I've been seeing that some of the guys around the league have official twitter accounts and even get paid to shitpost on them! I gotta look into this.

Preseason kicked off today and the regular season is around the corner. We gave up a ton of shots in our second game against Kelowna, but I thought we looked pretty competitive. I think it's a pretty safe bet that we will land as one of the most improved teams in the J this season. And of course, yours truly had a tuck

I'd like to hit a few more milestones this season. I think some realistic, but ambitious goals for myself are 15 goals and 30 points. I'd love to push 100+ shots this season and play the body a little more. As for the team as a whole, I think we're on the right track. We can make some noise this year, but I really do believe we're contenders in S57 and S58. We have all of our bases covered. We have some scoring depth along the wings, our D core is full of active studs, we have some sophomore talent down the middle and a future star in Snuff. We've also got an active tandem to boot. It would be an honour to bring Nevada's its first championship, especially so soon after expansion. With the regular season just around the corner, my eyes are set on the 4-Star cup.

An exciting rookie season is in the books, here's hoping we avoid a sophomore slump.

Until next time,
C. Danger