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inverted · 12-08-2020, 02:00 AM

You can tell a lot about a new user based off the player name they choose. How much effort they put into it as well as how creative they are. Nobody wants a boring person in their locker room and everyone knows the lazy ones will be be gone soon enough anyway. Here is my own scientifically accurate ranking of the best.. and the worst names.

Tier 1
#A-Rye Izzy - I mean come on. The man has a freaking hashtag in his name
Golden Face - Legendary super criminal and speed skater
-Nikolaj Boyle - Son of one of the greatest detectives NYPD has ever seen
Friedensreich Hundertwasser - the longest name of the draft, that has to count for something, right?
Zayne Rotzbua - stolen from the usernames of 2 other users in this draft class. Brash and Bold. If a bit confusing
Kermit Murphy - it's a muppet! surely a broadcast spot willl be open after they retire
Jörg Fuchs - He fuchs. get it?
Tier 2
Tim Allen Jr. - Another son of a legend. His father was a great comedian, DIY god and drug smuggler. Do these powerful genes have what it take to play hockey too?
Mew Two - Pokemon is something we all can love. This would be tier one if the name was better
Jonny Tsunami - That old school Disney Channel throw back and a great name on its own. bonus points for nostalgia.
Dogwood Maple - It's also his username but it's memorable enough to claim a spot in tier 2.
Jean-Locke Zidane - It's a fun name to say and it's possible he's related to one of the greatest ever soccer players. Can that talent carry over to the ice?
Puddles O'Duck - I don't entirely get it but it makes me giggle. Ducks are fun animals
Bean Beanman - I assume this guy will fly across the ice to hit the star players at full speed and strength. Top of the charts appeal, second tier name.

Bottom Tier
David S. Pumpkins - It's a reference to something I haven't seen so I automatically hate it. I also don't like the gifs I see when I search this name. First name of the bottom team
Danny C - again, it's the username, but this one is uninspired. Couldn't even bother with a full last name.
Christopher Ford - Maybe this is another reference but I don't know it and it's a pretty basic name. Nothing exciting.
Nike Kickz Jr - What is this a paid advertisement? Until I see some kickbacks I do not approve.
Ric Charlesworth - It's spelled Rick. smh
Bjørn Jakobsen - Could've been Bjork. so close, but so far.
Gregory Goode - Alliteration is overused and overrated.
Where they rank in TPE
If my theory is correct the average TPE of tier 1 names should be the highest and bottom tier should stay on the bottom. I will organize this by class rankings in TPE earned so far.
Tier 1 ranking numbers are 1 43 13 6 11 20 21. All together that is an average of 16.43 according to the first google result because math is hard.
Tier 2 ranking numbers are 44 17 6 6 19 40 31. That average is much higher, sitting at 23.29
Bottom tier should be even lower of a ranking. 25 13 45 35 29 13 1. This is an average of 23 even.

To sum all this up I think there is some truth to my theory. To accept this you first have to accept my opinion as fact. It seems the elite names set them self apart but then after that it seems to somewhat even out.

Approved, +5 TPE @inverted

bjkman · 12-08-2020, 02:13 AM

DeletedAtUserRequest · 12-08-2020, 02:17 AM

Beauty.

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inverted · 12-08-2020, 11:31 PM

Did not mean to tag people and none of this is serious. So sorry to the people I mindlessly put in the bottom tier. Sorry if my skimming through skipped your great name too lol

Seymour · 12-10-2020, 02:03 AM

>second tier name.

Those are fighting words.

nyumbayangu · 12-10-2020, 02:48 AM

On Sardang names are merely audible representations of the sound that the female birth body makes when jetisoning the new spawn from the sexual orifice. It was difficult to translate that into words that humans would understand.

Rev · 12-10-2020, 11:31 AM

12-08-2020, 11:31 PMinverted Wrote: Did not mean to tag people and none of this is serious. So sorry to the people I mindlessly put in the bottom tier. Sorry if my skimming through skipped your great name too lol

What, you think I'm gonna stop typing my 13 page response just because I stopped to take a break and read this comment? Yeah right. See you in your DMs, bud.

inverted · 12-11-2020, 02:22 AM

12-10-2020, 11:31 AMRev Wrote:
12-08-2020, 11:31 PMinverted Wrote: Did not mean to tag people and none of this is serious. So sorry to the people I mindlessly put in the bottom tier. Sorry if my skimming through skipped your great name too lol
What, you think I'm gonna stop typing my 13 page response just because I stopped to take a break and read this comment? Yeah right. See you in your DMs, bud.

I should've made a lower than bottom tier just for you bud

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