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***Rangerjase*** · 12-15-2020, 04:59 PM

Taking a look around the Tampa Bay Barracuda locker room. There are two players that would stand out in a battle royal. Just pure stats, height weight, Ambacas Cuddles and Jacob Hamr would just crush the competition. You’ve all seen hamr on the ice. The guy does nothing but hit other people. I don’t even know if he can shoot the puck! HIT HIT HIT HIT HIT that’s his mindset. In a battle royal, you better hope you’re staying away from him. Next guy up is Ambacas Cuddles. Standing at a whopping SEVEN FOOT NINE INCHES and weighing a MEAN THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS. I don’t even know how someone can compete with that. Bear knuckle brawling these two are really a force out there. Just to boot, Cuddles is a Defensive defenseman. Not only can he defend the puck, but he can most certainly defend himself from any harm. Don’t mess with the Tampa Bay Barracuda Battle royal squad.

marco999 · 12-15-2020, 08:11 PM

If a Battle Royale was to happen in the Anaheim Outlaws locker room, and I hope it doesn't happen, some players would definitely have the upper hand over some other players who wouldn't last very long. The second line centerman Sammy Blaze appears to be an early favorite to win the battle royale as he seems to be the strongest player on the team, He could expect tough competition from fourth line winger Max Müller, who has a certain edge in his game that could give him a good advantage in the battle royale. The defenseman Michael Scotch also has a certain edge in his game that could help him win the this thing, as he's not afraid to go in the corners and put his body on the line for the team. More frail players like Biggs Secksy and Chet Hillier look like they would struggle in the context, but everyone loves an underdog story. Players like James Yzerman and Asclepius Perseus Flitterwind, who don't like to hit very much, might struggle quite a bit, but they could still put up a fight if their life depended on it. If I had to pick a winner for the Anaheim Outlaws Battle Royale, it would be Sammy Blaze.

**RomanesEuntDomus** · 12-15-2020, 08:39 PM

I was quite tempted to write up an Among Us scenario for a second here, but will stick with the actual topic and descruve a Battle Royale among LA Panthers members. This fight to the death features a bunch of early favorites. Among them is Jimmy Wagner who is almost impervious to the cold and the elements, showcased by the fact that he is running around in what is basically underwear all day which should come in handy for this battle where supplies and tactical clothing will be scarce. Another participant with strengths in the supply department is Keith Lee whose advantage isn't based on his apparel however, but on his skills as a cook. Careful though because young Sean Gatez might give him a run for his money in this category... You also shouldn't forget about Jimmy Slothface who might not have the quickest reflexes out there but whose natural abilities should help him to blend in pretty well with almost every enviroment. But ultimately my money will be on old man Jon Toner. For some reason I have a feeling that this old geezer, who came here before and probably still will be around when we are all gone, will somehow still be standing once the dust has settled...

***hotdog*** · 12-15-2020, 09:00 PM

12-14-2020, 06:56 PMMoreorless89 Wrote:
12-14-2020, 06:54 PMMoreorless89 Wrote: As an addendum to my post: There can only be one Luffy, so I invite that Monkey on a boat, and then throw him into the ocean because everyone knows that Monkey D Luffy Cannot swim, and now I am the only Luffy muhahahahahahahahahaahahaha.
oops this was supposed to be a reply....to my post...feel free to delete this...

i like it i'm gonna leave it

***hhh81*** · 12-15-2020, 09:07 PM

The Seattle Argonauts battle royale is one for the ages. From the cannon fire that opened the bloodsport. In the mud pits at the center of the forest where the game was set up, Abel Skinner @KC15 and Jack Kanoff @jeffie43 got into a fist fight over who would get to execute Nolan McMahon, the most hated person in all of Seattle sports. Rookie Thor Odinson @feeler sniped the kill on McMahon and fled, just like he took the veteran goalie’s crease. Kanoff and Skinner stared at each other for a few seconds in shock, before teaming up to hunt Thor.

Thomas Vanice @JuOSu got greedy off the jump, slaughtering team IA pylons Kristoffer Svensson, Anastasia O’Koivu, Ben van Dijk, and Mikas Beiksa. He was then cut down by Bo Kane @NONAME.

Fred Wanesly @Mediocre_Fred didn’t realize a battle royale was going on, and accidentally pushed Hiro Fujikawa off a cliff. Cassius Darrow saw Bo Kane was tailing Fred and, using poor ol Knute Knurtsson as a decoy, got Fred to safety before knee capping Kane and pushing him off the same cliff.

When the Skinner-Kanoff pairing fell into a rope trap walking through the forest, they started tussling with each other, putting all the blame on the other one. The next thing they knew and they both lost a kidney. Kriss Darzins @lilstifler found them and put them out of their misery, before he too got ambushed and lost a kidney.

Thor found Wanesly playing tic-tac-toe in the dirt with Alexei Rykov, and scalped them both. As he wandered back toward the center clearing, he found Darrow dangling from a tree. In shock and horror, he investigated. He never saw the knife coming, and he too lost a kidney.

And that’s how Satoshi Zigzagooney @TheWoZy found his dinner of Argonaut kidneys as the champion of the Battle Royale.

Snoopdogg · 12-15-2020, 11:42 PM

Well well well, if the Edmonton Blizzard were to have a Royal rumble I see a few guys who would love a good toss up. Bunch of gym rats up here in Blizz town looking for some team bonding of punch you in the face, throw against the wall or slam to the ground.

Leading the pack into the ring will be no doubt our Captain Jean-Paul Boivin as he is our de-facto "goon" sort to speak. Always looking to catch you with your head down and lay the body. The couple of dudes likely to jump in are Karlstrasse Scholz and Tony Pepperoni, as they too do not shy away from the body contact. Some riley veterans who can take a punch or two.

Add in this mix, sophomores like myself Laforest and Foley who have severely high testosterone (we're juicing with JPB) levels always trying to up the other in bench press competitions.

But in my honest opinion, the game changer, Conor Tanner who is always calm and collective joins in on the fun and enters the ring. And I mean ALL. All as in all his 6'7" 270lbs comes crashing down on all of us. Some (myself and Foley) purposefully jump out, JPB I think passed out in the ring while Scholz and Tony stood there frozen with nothing to say waving the white flag!

Tanner wins without throwing a single punch, just the kinda guy he is and we love him for it.

Cheers boys!
Cheers

Muerto · 12-16-2020, 12:41 AM

After a brutal sim day where the listless Jets were defeated by a backup goalie then shutout 3 consecutive games, the team was pointing fingers at each other and accusations were flying. They decided that the best thing to do was let all the aggression and frustration out on each other. Every player on the ice was told to take a starting position - the last one standing would get to skip the bag skate the next morning. If you fled the ice, got tossed over the boards, or were knocked unconscious, you were out. When the whistle blew, all the players starting squaring off. Goku went super-saiyan mode early, and made a beeline towards Yoshi - Yoshi was ready, though and brought out his samurai sword. The two collided at center ice creating a huge explosion which sent both of them flying out of the rink. 2 down. In the corner, Strom Chamberlain was running the ground and pound on Vincent Mietitore, screaming, "YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE MY STARTER SPOT HUH? HUH??", rendering him bloody. However, Devitt came skating behind and slammed him over the head with a chair. 2 more down, both goalies out! Commander Shepard, used to these types of situations, tosses a couple grenades into the fray, sending Tor Tuck and Jason Desrouleaux into the stands, before wading into the fray pretending his stick was an assault rifle. Crudelli attempts a garotting of Nick Brain, but Brain reverses and slams him over the boards! We're losing people rapidly now! Big McScruff deals a might blow to Liljestrom, then tosses him bodily into Blunt and Duggan who are off trying to have a smoke. They tumble through the zamboni doors, 3 down in one shot! Diporov and Biscuit are engaged in a lengthy submission battle, and they choke each other out. We're left with Shepard, Brain, McScruff, Devitt, and Sutherland squaring off. McScruff and Devitt tag-team Brain while Shepard pulls out a blaster and stuns Sutherland. He's down! Shepard thinks he is toast, but suddenly Devitt pulls a heel turn and trips up McScruff as he is about to bodycheck Shepard, putting him right through the boards and into the penalty box. Shepard wastes no time in blasting Devitt to smithereens with his last frag grenade. He surveys the aftermath of the destruction calmly. He's been though it all before, and fighting off a bunch of hockey players is easier than fighting an alien race, so just another Tuesday for him. Enjoy your day off, Commander!

Velevra · 12-16-2020, 12:57 AM

I think a lot of members of the Chicago Syndicate would do well in a battle royale although some others would probably also do pretty poorly. This Battle Royale would obviously take place in Chicago and all the top mobsters in the city would be invited to take part. This would definitely make it one of the most dangerous battle royales in history! Firstly I think my own player Akira Ren would do incredibly bad. While he is a pretty tough young lad, he has no aim and reaction time whatsoever which would result in him being terrible with weapons. Kit Smeb is one of the smaller players on the Syndicate but he will probably do well with his tenacity and ability to sneak into small hiding spots. Daniel Smeb would also do quite well since I hear he often participates in underground battle royales in his freetime. The winner would have to be Martjin Westbroek though, I hear he is a fortnite god and those skills have to carry over in a real life Battle Royale.

***Chevy*** · 12-16-2020, 02:57 AM

The concept of a battle royale happening in the Winnipeg Jets locker-room is something I've been curious about myself for a couple seasons now. At the encouragement of Prince Devitt (@CFJ), and most of the team's familiarity with the world of Wrestling....I decided to go ahead and give ourselves an inaugural Royal Rumble!

I inquired in our locker-room about each players fighting style if they could mimic a professional wrestler. The list came out as follows:

Yoshimitsu McCloud (@Thunfish): Great Muta
Strom Chamberlain (@Geekusoid): Triple H
Zakkira Diporov (@TheSparkyDee): John Cena
Dwayne Gretzky (@3lewsers): George "The Animal" Steele
Goku Muerto (@Muerto): "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka
Vincent Mietitore (@ViN): "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
Magnus Liljestrom (@roastpuff): The Rock
Pojo Biscuit (@.bojo): Rey Mysterio Jr.
Reid Sutherland (@reid): The Undertaker
Prince Devitt (@CFJ): Seth Rollins
Tor Tuck (@ErM): Mick Foley
Nick Brain (@StadiumGambler): Dan Severen

Utilizing their chosen wrestler's style, we went to town in the ring. The rules for victory were throwing someone over the top rope, making them submit, or getting a 3-count pin. With twelve total participants, we were broke up into two groups of 6, and the winners of each group met up in one final showdown. The results of that rumble, are as follows (for your enjoyment):

jRuutu · 12-16-2020, 04:46 AM

When only one fighter is left standing it is tough to say who could be the winner in the end as endurance and size are both needed. My initial thought would be to pick players like Rob Wright, C.K. Supernaw, Chad Danger, and Bane to be the winners. Each of these four are at least 6 ft 4, so they have the size and reach advantage. On top of it all, Supernaw for example is a goalie, so the endurance won't be a problem, but then again he is not perhaps used to fighting in the corners, etc, so can he take a beating so to speak?

Rock Strongo and James Kimanje are big boys as well, Strongo, as the name suggests, is a tank, he is a strong player. He can dish the punishment out with the best of them and as a center, he is used to verbal back and forth with other players and refs.

I think this battle royale event will in all reality be decided by tactics and by a bit of luck. It would be smart from the rest of the fighters to target the top fighters first and get them out. Nevada has quite a few smart players and fighters who I could see doing something like that, but is the size of the mentioned players too much to handle? I think so, the winner of Nevada battle royale is someone from these six mentioned players.

If I would have to guess, the fight is pure chaos. Whatever tactical ideas people have first will soon be forgotten. The strongest and biggest players will shine in an event like this. In the end, Strong and Supernaw will be the two fighters left standing and they will decide who wins it. Supernaw has the reach advantage but Strongo is stronger, classic matchup.

*Mutedfaith* · 12-16-2020, 06:49 AM

Not a lot of Monarchs have been involved in fights the last few seasons.

Season 57:
Cal Labovitch: 1 fight, 1 win, 0 lost

Season 56:
Mathias Seger: 1 fight, 0 wins, 1 loss
Noah Gallagher: 1 fight, 0 wins, 1 loss

Season 55:
Ti-Guy Edmond: 1 fight, 1 win, 0 lost

Season 54:
Ti-Guy Edmond: 1 fight, 0 win, 1 lost
Mikas Bieksa: 1 fight, 0 win, 1 lost

Season 53:
Noah Gallagher: 1 fight, 1 wins, 0 lost

So we have three guys in the last 5 season who won their fight, one of which (Ti-Guy Edmond) is no longer on the team and therefore not able to compete. That means the battle royale will ultimately come down to two current players:

In the one corner we have the old, reliable Noah Gallagher. Part of the S47 class, this 6ft 2 inch, 208 lbs (188cm and 94kg for non-freedom people) Irish left winger has the following physical and mental stats:

Physical Ratings
Acceleration: 15
Agility: 15
Balance: 17
Speed: 15
Stamina: 15
Strength: 19
Fighting: 5

Mental Ratings
Aggression: 5
Bravery: 10

He will have to square off against the younger Cal Labovitch. Part of the S52 class, this 6ft 1 inch, 202 lbs (185cm and 91.5kg for non-freedom people) Swiss right winger has the following physical and mental stats:

Physical Ratings
Acceleration: 17
Agility: 15
Balance: 17
Speed: 15
Stamina: 16
Strength: 17
Fighting: 5

Mental Ratings
Aggression: 5
Bravery: 11

So while Noah Gallagher is a bit stronger, Cal Labovitch has the higher stamina, bravery and acceleration. Since it's a battle royale, that stamina may be the key to winning this brawl in the Monarchs lockerroom and the added acceleration could see Cal Labovitch being able to take out Noah Gallagher before he even gets a chance to put his higher strength into use.

**OrbitingDeath** · 12-16-2020, 09:35 AM

A battle royale amongst the Panthers, bring it on little pussies. None of you will be able to beat Vorian Atreides as I actually AM immortal. Good luck with all your cheap shots, silly tricks, modern weaponry as it just wont work. Even heavier artillery or nuclear bombs will keep Vorian standing. So I would expect this Battle Royal to be everyone versus Vorian in round one and that Vorian will be the last one standing.

He fought in wars to save humanity against the self thinking machines and that was a lot more fierce then a team of hockey players could produce. So there is not a chance in the world I will lose it. I think Philipp Winter might be the second to last one standing, basically as I can see him sitting in a bar while the others fight and die one by one, he's german after all so he probably still is celebrating Octoberfest by now.

***Ace*** · 12-16-2020, 09:41 AM

@Zomp would get us all started by using a drone that was created by the premier designers with cutting edge laser combat technology. @BloomeyGB would react by tossing a WW1 era hand grenade that was found in the trenches of France. @Zema would build a snow fort and hunker down and wait for the whole thing to blow over with a pint of the finest Swedish beer. @JaytheGreat would be running around and trying to patch up all his opponents because he’s far too into helping others. @bbjygm would be creating a Google Doc to dissect the probability of his success. @bluesfan55 would be screeching at the top of his lungs with a trident in his hand and yelling something about a Boat Team. @Fluw would be using diamond encrusted brass knuckles and leveraging the best ground for his attacks because he suddenly became a real estate genius. @kenvald would be slinking in the darkness, striking at his opponents when they least expect it. @Clean Andrei Kostitsyn would stab people while playing “Darude Sandstorm” on a recorder. All in all, it would be a messy affair.

Wearingabear · 12-16-2020, 09:59 AM

In this battle royale the Barracuda prospects are put in a grassy knoll and the chaos ensues:

Igor Victory: While Victory may be in his name, this Finnish behemoth is trying to survive for his life out there. His weapon of choice? A sauna whip, to some it's relaxing, to some it's punishment. The best weapon when you're trying to kill your opponents? Nope, not really.

Colin Lambert: The good ol' boy from Ohio. He hails from a town called Defiance, so you figure in this context he'd use a bit of the Defiance and make an outlasting stand for himself. His weapon of choice? A go kart, but his go kart is much more akin towards the Mario Kart, full of goomba shells, banana peels, and weird paper mache stars he keeps throwing at everyone.

TURG TURG: It's kind of assumed that notoriously good/bad guy TURG TURG will be apart of any sort of Battle Royale happening. He's the natural survivalist, having grown up in the woods. However, he doesn't want to hurt his fellow team mates, all he really wants to do is play hockey and drink chocolate out of his chocolate fountain. His weapon of choice? TURG's hockey stick.

KnockedOut ByOvechkin: This man's name just inspires fear to people that don't know him. Hailing from Russia, he's fueled on Vodka, Gas, and borscht. Again a guy you look at, hear his name, and assume he's the single most badass person on the planet. He's a softy inside though. His weapon of choice? Frozen beets from his Babushka's garden. Once destined for borscht, now coming for people's heads.

Vladmir Petrov: Another Russian to hit the list, and one of the feared Petrov Brothers. Currently experiencing issues with his GM in Anchorage, he has no choice but to win this battle royale to escape the hands of Gabe Johnson. His weapon of choice? The trident that hangs from the rafters of the Armada's home ice.

JSS331 · 12-16-2020, 11:02 AM

I can only imagine the shenanigans involved if there was a battle royale in the Hamilton locker room. I know we have some wrestling fans so the entrance music and costumes would be on point. We do not really have any fighters on the team so we would need to just look at physical strength and aggression. I know Samuel Michaud and Aaron Wilson are not afraid to put the body on someone on the ice so I have no doubt they would bring some heat in the ring. Bork Lazer and Michael Scarn are probably not far behind either.

At the end of the day only one person could emerge victorious from the ring. While the guys mentioned above are all physical and strong, only one person on the team brings a secret weapon that cannot be countered by any known means. That is of course, the one and only DICK CLAPPER. A few claps and you are rolling on the ground calling for your mommy. Hard to beat that.

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