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*WithTheMoose* · 05-08-2021, 10:57 PM

Please gib first media article double bonus.

Introduction:

Hi guys! Isa here. I’m known a bit around the ISFL and SCFSL circuits as football is kinda my thing. It is the only sport I follow with any regularity and so those leagues sat with me pretty well. I’ve never watched hockey at all or followed it. In fact I don’t even know what most of the equipment is called and had to be reminded the black circle thing that gets smacked around is called a puck, so that is how new I am to the experience. I couldn’t tell you the name of a single real life player or team. As such, I’m not really familiar with statistics, rules, terminology, positions, or really anything in the hockey world. Still I’ve been told time and time again that this league is incredible and is a perfect spot for a second league. After being asked to join many times by compatriots in the ISFL, I decided to mosey on over despite having zero knowledge of anything going on. All that said to point out that despite being a bit of a media mogul in ISFL, it will be a whole new experience and a whole new challenge to find things to write about here. Until I can learn a bit more about the league and the sport as a whole, I suppose I can start off with an introduction to my player and how he made his way to the fascinating world of hockey.

The History of Adelie de Pengu:

Adelie de Pengu has been a long term two league player. His origins date all the way back to when he was simply your normal, everyday Adelie penguin exploring the frozen tundra of Antartica. Diving for Krill, tobogganing on his tummy down snow banks, and collecting only the best of pebbles for his little nest. He was living life and being the best penguin he could be. He seemed destined for wonderful things in the penguin world, but everything changed when the skua nation attacked. Adelie had wandered a bit too far from the colony while enjoying his tobogganing. He had found one massive hill after another and was having an absolute blast, but unfortunately this led to him getting lost. It wasn’t long before he was found though. Found by one of the creatures of the arctic that enjoyed seeing penguins alone and isolated. A vicious and hungry skua had spotted him and was now on the prowl! He wanted to run, but as he had no idea where he was he was left with only one option. To stand his ground and fight. After scurrying up a hill with his little short legs, he turned towards skua and tobogganed down the hill at great speeds. He crashed into the skua brutally and scattered it to the wind as it panicked and fled. This was an incredible victory for the young penguin and he had no idea that this was just the start. In the distance, he’d been observed by a kind stranger who saw true talent in the penguin. Now was time for Adelie’s life to change forever.

The watcher who had seen his little encounter was none other than Bjorn Ironside, a legend from a sports league known as the International Football Simulation League. He was a large beast of a man who had recently retired and was looking for something to fill his free time after football. This had led to him hiking into the Arctic with his three brothers, all of which were large grizzly bears. It was this journey that brought him to his true calling. Training animals to do things people never thought they could. This journey was to start with this young penguin who had impeccable tackling form. Bjorn knew immediately that the young Adelie would fit right in among the world of football and so after he had finished defending himself, Bjorn made his approach. He made a simple offer to the penguin, who he spoke to in his native language. “Gacker, squawk, gacker, gacker.” It simply meant that Bjorn could help him find his colony or he could lead the penguin down a different life. A life where he would become something greater than a simple penguin.

Bjorn began to train Adelie rigorously to get him ready for the trials ahead. It seemed Adelie was truly destined for greatness as every test Bjorn gave him, Adelie seemed to excel at. He became faster, stronger, and smarter under the tutelage of a man who had done it all. Together they learned much about themselves and who they were as individuals. Adelie himself learned that he had a drive. He had never really felt it before. He had never experienced the need or urge to be greater, but now he knew what he had to do. After training under the legend and getting his feet wet, he set out with a single goal. The goal of being the most legendary penguin in all the sporting world.

He started with the league that Bjorn was native to. The ISFL was the perfect place to start his dreams. After all, it was where his mentor had the most experience. He hit the ground running in the ISFL’s developmental league. Thanks to his connections with Bjorn, he was a highly touted prospect who really seemed to be able to do it all. That is exactly how his team used him. His natural athleticism allowed him to be moved wherever the team needed and though originally he was set to be in the secondary, he really found his calling in his second season as a linebacker. He was absolutely versatile in the middle of the field and became a complete monster in the lower league. This led to him winning his first championship in a league as the Norfolk Seawolves managed to take it all just before he got called up to the next level. Coincidentally this is where he met his best friend Melvin Murder Moose who would soon become a constant in his career as an athlete.

Adelie made his way into the majors and took it by storm as he rose the ranks to become one of the better linebackers in the league.His very first season he was top three in tackles as he proved to be a dynamic playmaker who could really shake things up for the Colorado Yeti. He was such a commanding force in the middle that he helped the Yeti get over the hump and make the championship in his first year. Unfortunately they were dealt a loss, but Adelie knew they’d be back. The following season his partner in crime, Melvin Murder Moose joined the Yeti and they’re linebacker corps. This gave them an absolute monstrous one two punch that saw the Yeti defense put up dominant numbers. They tore through the league in route to another finals game. Despite being the clear favorites after dominating all season long, they once more just couldn’t get it done though. Adelie refused to be deterred though. After all, he swore to be the best penguin in all of sports. He’d continue working and pushing to get over the hump.

As he pushed himself, he realized that his boundless energy couldn’t hold him to just a single league. After all, he had said he would be the best penguin in all of sports, not just one league. As a result, he headed off and joined another league. It was familiar to him as he stayed in the realm of football. The Super Casual Football Sim League welcomed him with open arms. He was already a known entity thanks to his time in the ISFL and he saw himself selected second overall. He started off as a linebacker his rookie season as that was what was familiar to him, but then his general managers realized he was capable of much, much more. He was quick and slippery and his specific set of skills made him perfect for playing in the secondary. He had proven his versatility in the past and now this was time to do it again. Before he knew it, he was being moved all over the defense. He made it to the championship his rookie season, but now he had to also deal with his third such loss in sports. A one to three start in championship games was not a great beginning to the best penguin of all time. He would have to just take it to the next level.

That next level involved him leaving for the New Zealand Wallabies. He came onto the roster hot after a rookie of the year performance just the season before. He was a difference maker and put on an absolute clinic as he was the front runner for defensive back of the year his first season with the Wallabies. Thanks to his efforts and the efforts of his teammates, at long last Adelie was able to see another championship win. The Wallabies had gotten him there and had earned his eternal gratitude. All he did to repay them is simply go on to have a hall of fame worthy career with the team. They dominated season after season. His second season they had the best record in the league, but unfortunately got bounced in the second round of the playoffs. They came back with a vengeance though and won back to back championships. Adelie was a turnover magnet and his interceptions played a huge role in the absolute tear this team went on.

After winning three championships with his beloved Wallabies, he decided that he had achieved all he really could in the SCFSL and declared he was going to play only one more season. They made it to the finals one last time and Adelie saw yet another loss, but this brought his total in championship games to four wins and four losses. Though he had lost more than he would like, eight championship games wasn’t bad for just one penguin. He figured he would just go back to the ISFL and focus on only it for a while, but he began to get restless. Had he really done enough to be considered the best penguin in all of sports? After all, he’d only played football to this point. He decided the answer to that was a resounding no. It was time to branch out. It was time to not just open himself up to a new league, but to spread his wings and join an entirely different sport.

Adelie had heard rumors for a long while in the ISFL about a hockey league. Being a penguin, Adelie wasn’t really familiar with all the different sports out there and so he had never heard of hockey before. He ignored it for a while while his teammates and even opponents continued to rave about this other league. Finally Adelie just had to investigate and see what all the fuss was about. He started to do some research and ended up in the depths of youtube to watch some highlights. After some thorough viewing, he learned that much like football, it was an incredibly violent and exciting sport to watch. It was likely just as fun to play. He put in a couple calls, bought up some gear, and threw in his name to join the league. First he would need to learn. He took on some practice and at least got down the basics. Being from the arctic, he already had some natural talent on the ice. He had fantastic balance and seemed to just glide around. The next part was a bit harder as holding a stick with his flippers wasn’t the easiest task for a penguin. It was during these trials that he realized defense may be the best place for him as he may not have the stick skills to really navigate a puck past the goalie.

A few weeks went by and it was finally time for him to make his debut. He knew the first step was to walk on and see if anyone was willing to take a flier on a penguin with no former experience in hockey. Waiting by the phone to see if one of the teams would offer him a contract would be excruciating, but he knew deep down he’d get a call. He would get a chance to prove himself in the juniors of this Simulated Hockey League he had found and would prove by draft time that he was worth the risk. Adelie de Pengu was moving to hockey.

Team Branding Overviews by a Penguin:

As he got involved, he started looking through at all the teams. His first stop would be in the SMJHL so he decided to take a glance at the teams and the branding there. He wanted to get familiar with his new surroundings so he started to flip through to see what really stood out to him.

Starting off is the Anaheim Outlaws. This is a team that would be incredibly familiar because in the ISFL there is an Arizona Outlaws. The branding is actually incredibly similar. They use the same classic color scheme that you almost can never go wrong with. Red and black has always been one of the staples in the sporting world. It makes you look both aggressive and dangerous and can really pop out with the right jersey schemes. More than that, the logo is fairly similar to that of its ISFL counterpart. Cowboy hat, bandana mask, and a six shooter. All good things an Outlaw should have. This would definitely be one that Adelie could find himself comfortable in thanks to already having seen it all once before.

Next up comes the Anchorage Armada. The branding here would be absolute perfection for Adelie. In fact, it could be his favorite purely because of the sentimental value. You see the first team that Adelie ever played for was in the ISFL’s developmental league, the Norfolk Seawolves. Seawolves are a class of military submarine. Their traditional colors are navy blue, gray, and black. Here we are faced with the Armada who has a logo that is a battleship with the exact same color scheme of Adelie’s home team. Some of his best memories in all of sport were suiting up in his navy blues on game day and going out to get a well deserved win. This team brings up so much nostalgia for the penguin that it is mindblowing. Common themes can definitely be something that excite!

Then there is the Carolina Kraken taking a bold and unique turn for branding. The beast known as the kraken is obviously mythological and even if it did exist, I’m not sure you’d find it off the coast of Carolina. Most of the tales that tell of the mighty kraken are ancient and you’d more likely find it somewhere in the North Sea were it real. Off the coast of the United Kingdom or threatening near one of the Scandinavian countries. Despite that, Adelie couldn’t actually take points away here because have you even seen that logo? The orange and back color scheme is wild and really stands out amongst the typical reds and blues you see in sports. Mix this with a really modern and threatening kraken logo and you make a beast that Adelie absolutely would not want to meet on a late night swim. Just thinking about it gives him shivers of fright.

Moving on to the Colorado Raptors and you get to mix one of my favorite color schemes with even more nostalgia. Starting with the color scheme, the bright blue and the yellow mix so very well. It is one of those combinations that could make a jersey absolutely brim with color. As a lover of colors who enjoys color rush jerseys more than any other in the sport of football, Adelie could really see himself attracted to this team. The vibrant uniforms you could create here with that almost neon blue with the naturally vibrant yellow could really make someone stand out. Mix that with them being from Colorado while Adelie currently plays for the Colorado Yeti in the ISFL and you have yourself the makings of arguably his favorite branding so far. Have I mentioned that penguins are very attracted to yellow? Adelie is in fact a penguin. Everything about this just works and Adelie could fall in love with this team.

With the Detroit Falcons you have a weird mix for Adelie. One would normally say birds of a feather fly together, but as Adelie can’t actually fly then he has to say heck those birds. Jokes aside, the red and white is a more rare variation of red and black that typically just doesn’t have as much pop. Take that with the fact that of all the brandings he had seen, this one was the most normal and least original of the group, and it doesn’t seem to hold up as much. You might could say that being the most normal of a wide group gives it a form of uniqueness in itself, but it is not one of those brandings that is going to stand out in a group. All of that said, it is a bird team and Adelie is a bird, so he could totally see himself suiting up in the red and white. Who knows, maybe they could give him flying lessons!

Then we have the Kelowna Knights. Adelie has no idea where Kelowna is, but everyone can relate to wanting to be a knight. In fact you might could seven say modern football players are knights with their pads and helmets and Adelie is pretty familiar with that life! More than that though, one of the things not many people know about Adelie is that his favorite color scheme in all of the ISFL comes from a team called the San Jose SaberCats. They have a dark green and gold scheme that has always stood out to him in a big way. Dark green is one of those more rare colors in the sporting world and when you see it, it always stands out because it has a sense of uniqueness to it. It just so happens that the Knights have the exact same scheme here. Between having an absolutely fantastic color palette and Pengu Knight being the favorite thing Adelie has ever seen come out of gaming, the Knights easily win this particular penguin over. They might just have to be careful about him getting a little too excited when settling into the role.

Looking at the Maine Timber, there is an absolute ton to love. First off it is easily the most unique branding on the list so far. You don’t see a ton of big name teams based out of Maine in the first place and then they made an absolutely inspired choice to go with the Timber as their mascot. It has a gorgeous mix of brown and green that professional sport teams just don’t use very often. The colors work together. The logo works. This is what a branding is supposed to be. True to the area it is from and absolutely stands out in a crowd. Adelie has been thoroughly impressed with the variations and the creativity in the brandings so far, but this one takes the cake in something truly unique. That said Adelie has never even been to Maine. Would he like it there? Are there really that many trees? If so is there room for tobogganing These are all pressing questions that Adelie may be answering should he get a call from this team.

The first thing that comes to mind when you see the branding for the Nevada Battleborn is the word modern. At first glance, Adelie could tell this was likely one of the newer teams on the block. The colors, the design, the art. All of it screams new age. The blue, gold, and white is a classic combo that always meshes well together on a uniform. It is a palette that can let you do some really unique things with outlines, stripes, and other creative things you can do with a jersey. Then comes the name. Battleborn. It just sounds impressive. While it is true that the logo itself is just a ram and rams are pretty standard in professional sports, the fact they found another way to spin it really gives it a bit more flavor than your run of the mill team who has a ram mascot. Mix that with the wicked cool state outline behind the ram and you have a pretty incredible logo. Overall it wasn’t Adelie’s favorite of the group, but it still popped out when he saw it. His only hesitation was that he did not know how to gamble and he wasn’t sure what else there was to do in Nevada.

Bringing in the Newfoundland Berserkers is a branding that is absolutely fitting to the region. When it comes to brandings, you never want to just throw out a random place and random mascot and hope they work together. The best brandings are the ones that take something special from the local area and make it their own. Newfoundland absolutely killed it here. Digging deep into the history of the culture in Newfoundland, they found something that would really make the fans cheer. It makes them sound intimidating and forceful and brings up a part of their heritage they really take to heart and are proud of. Tons of teams get this wrong. Newfoundland was not one of them. Their colors seem to lean to more of a gray and black or silver and black. It is a tried and true combination that while is a bit prototypical, it absolutely works. This scheme has been used to create some of the best uniforms Adelie has ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Given that is a black and white penguin himself, this is something he can get behind. The art of the logo itself does look a little outdated compared to the rest, but the wolf pelt hat is a really nice touch that should be kept should this team ever go for another logo. Either way, Adelie could see himself blending in here.

The Quebec City Citadelles stole de Pengu’s entire heart the moment he saw it. The icy color scheme absolutely melted this penguin the moment his eyes managed to register it. The white and the light blue screamed chilly and Adelie knew at a minimum, this would be a place he would have to visit. Everything about this team stands out. Using the french word Citadelles to pay homage to its home territory. The beauty of the owl that represents their mascot. The color scheme that spoke to this penguin on a spiritual level. All of this worked together to create Adelie’s absolute favorite branding. He had never been to Canada outside of road games against the Yellowknife Wraiths in the ISFL, but this was a branding that made him want to experience more of it. As a penguin, he is all about ice and snow and this branding really breathes what you can expect the area to be like. This one got him very excited about joining this league and told him that he made the right decision in coming over to hockey. The brandings here were absolutely spectacular.

While getting near the end of the list for the teams that Adelie could be looking to join, we come across the St. Louis Scarecrows. All things being honest, Adelie didn’t know enough about St. Louis to know what Scarecrows had anything to do with their local culture or heritage. What he did know was that this logo was positively terrifying in the best of ways. While their city and mascot synergy may have not been the best, they really leaned into the scare aspect of the Scarecrow and it absolutely works for them. It is one of the more unique mascots that Adelie had ever seen and he absolutely adored the orange yellow blend and black color scheme they had going here. Once more penguins are highly attracted to yellow and once you get past the terrifying mascot, this is no different. This branding really stands out because of how hard they went into the more horror aspects of it and it makes them stand alone in a league packed full of unique mascots. The Scarecrows definitely have a lot going for them in the branding department. If only they were housed somewhere like Iowa which is at least known for their cornfields. We all know that is where the Scarecrows really stand out.

This brings us to the final and absolutely most offensive branding in any league that Adelie has been a part of. The Vancouver Whalers. As a penguin, the mere idea of whalers is absolutely detestable. Some of Adelie’s best friends are whales and they are dying in mass thanks to illegal whaling operations and over fishing! The humans are murdering his friends and this branding indicates that the people of Vancouver are somehow proud of their terrible and deadly heritage. For absolute shame! They could have simply been the Vancouver Whales and avoided all of this ugliness, but no, they had to be the Whalers. It is a true shame too because their green and navy blue was one of Adelie’s favorite color schemes! Adelie admittedly has to give them credit for their city to mascot synergy as the city did once have a deep connection to whaling, so it is a part of their heritage. That said, even the locals know that heritage is wrong as Vancouver has progressively moved toward conservation and tourist whale watching to honor these beautiful and gentle creatures. Bringing attention to their terrible history though cannot be ignored! Adelie was very displeased. (Love the branding guys, but had to go with the penguin reaction)

Now with a look at the teams and a firm grasp of what to expect, Adelie realized that he’d be incredibly happy on almost all these teams. Overall the brandings are well done and bring incredible color palettes to the table. Researching the different teams only increased his excitement as he eyed the phone and waited for the calls to come in so he could finally get on a roster.

Negotiating with a Penguin

Next we will look at a few of Adelie’s favorite things to give teams an idea of how to negotiate with him. After all, not everyone knows how to deal with a feisty penguin and they might could use a guide to lead them.

First and foremost is krill. Any of you general managers out there who may want to sit down and negotiate with Adelie over a nice dinner should know that while he has advanced quite a bit since joining the sporting world, he is still a penguin. As such, his absolute favorite meal is krill and other prawn and shrimp like seafood. He absolutely goes crazy for the stuff and the first step of making Adelie agreeable is making his tummy happy!

The next thing should be relatively easy for a hockey team. Adelie de Pengu absolutely loves the cold, the snow, and the ice. This penguin could spend all day sliding on his tummy across a freezing surface. It is one of his great joys in life. When not being used for games or practices, Adelie expects to be able to use the arena as a bit of a playground. Set up a snow machine, get the ice nice and cold, and have an incredible bit of fun. Naturally any and all teammates are welcome to join him!

Then comes the question of his dearest friend and the muderest of the moose, Melvin Murder Moose. A big reason why Adelie was able to make this journey was through the support of his friend and due to no longer being a member of a colony, this penguin can get awfully lonely. Adelie expects any team he joins to allow him plenty of time to go visit his moose friend should they not be on the same time for any reason. He would like to also be able to watch as many of moose’s games as possible so he can support his friend as much as his friend supports him!

Regular visits to the local zoo should they have a penguin exhibit and if not, the team should make gratuitous donations to the local zoo to allow for them to have a penguin exhibit. Again, Adelie gets lonely and he does not often get to be among his own kind and really get the chance to be a penguin. Allowing for him to have some of his own close by can really provide relief to this penguin and allow him to focus on the games and the task ahead.

Things like money and wins and team success and even stats don’t matter too much to Adelie. He is here to prove he can do what no penguin has ever done. Play hockey at a high level. As long as the team has a chill atmosphere and is trying their best, Adelie doesn’t really care what is happening outside of his locker room. He just wants to play on the ice whenever he gets a chance! People should expect him to regularly share photos of his penguin friends in a locker room environment and for him to always have an upbeat and positive attitude. Nothing gets this penguin down and he always looks for a chance to share knowledge of his kind to others.

With these select things in mind, everyone should have a chance to negotiate with confidence with this ferocious little penguin. He looks forward to hearing from you all and is very excited about joining this league!

Closing:

I hope this gave you all some insight into the player that is Adelie de Pengu and who he is both on and off the ice. This was an absolute joy to write and while it has been a while since I’ve done media of any kind in sim leagues, it felt good to get back into it. People have been telling me to join for a while and I kept putting it off. Now I'm not sure why. I’m super excited to be here and while I know absolutely nothing about the sport, I hope to learn and can bring you more articles in the future. Peace out for now!

-Isa

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