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***Vandy*** · 06-27-2021, 04:04 PM

Eric Vanderberg was the worst player to play in league history. Lets look at his terrible time in Colorado, just an absolute pylon for his four seasons there. I bet the Dinos were happy to see him go. Then he goes to Buffalo where he's not a top line guy but barely scraping on the third pairing.. Those years where Buffalo couldnt get into the finals? Same time Vanderberg was on the team. Stop booing me, I'm right. Then Buffalo has the balls to trade this waste of space to Winnipeg so that Canada has to suffer his terrible play too. Clearly this is the worst thing the US did to Canada since the Montreal Screwjob. THEN they traded for him back, you didn't see the Buffalo Bills release Scott Norwood after he blew the kick in the Super Bowl then trade for him back did you? No. So the Bills are better than the Stampede in that sense. Let that sink in.

***JaytheGreat*** · 06-27-2021, 04:22 PM

PBE PT

Rest In Peace Dangel

1st SHL Goal - S52 Game 1 vs Tampa 3. New England Wolfpack , Jakub Bruchevski 1 (Eko Van Otter 1, Delver Fudgeson 2) at 8:10

Scarecrows

*Count Chocula* · 06-27-2021, 04:39 PM

Elias Kierkegaard is a Danish born, self proclaimed hockey player currently playing for the Los Angeles Panthers of the Simulation Hockey League. Elias wasnt even drafted in his first amateur season because he was so terrible. The Newfoundland Berserkers only signed him to a tryout because they needed someone to open the bench door for line changes. Since joining the Panthers, Elias has shown absolutely no improvement in his game. Younger rookies like Jonas Kahnwald have already surpassed him in defensive and offensive performance. Elias is a career bottom pairing defenseman at best in the SHL. So far Kierkegaard's career, his only success is that he was carried to a Four Star Cup championship in S55 on the back's of future hall of famers Vaseline Podcalzone and (Clean) Andrei Kostitsyn. Kierkegaard was selected 45tb overall in his draft year, he was so bad 3 other teams elected to pass on their pick instead of taking him. Looking back perhaps he should have been a 4th round pick instead. Kierkegaard has terrible career stats and has never recorded more that 15 points in a season and is a Corsi nightmare. The Panthers will never win a championship as long as he is on their roster.

Nhamlet · 06-27-2021, 04:41 PM

When Minamino isn’t busy stuffing his face full of gobstoppers and sour keys bought in costco sized packages, he’s frequently found struggling with his infamous feet. Namely the size and width of those behemoths are often the concern and butt of jokes among his teammates, where “bigfoot” is often heard during practices, trips and sometimes slipping out during games. He’s been known to have a serious shopping habit, shopping for shoes of various main brands, hoping to land a sponsorship to no avail, as he has to wear sizes 3 times bigger in other to accommodate his wide feet. Nike and Adidas has not publicly commented on these rumors. New Balance has openly spoken highly of the player given his preference for their brand when he is unwilling to find anything else that reasonably fits. When asked about this detail, Minamino has commented saying that his feet were not of anybody’s concern. Teammates have often shared to be giving him a wide berth in order to avoid being stopped on.

Halkohol · 06-27-2021, 04:54 PM

Jonathan Granström. Born... Well, was he actually born? His appearance on the ice would suggest otherwise as he is never seen there. Jonathan Granström is a hockey player. Hockey *player* might be a bit too kind to him though. He is there on the ice, but never seen, and certainly not *playing* hockey.

His history has him named assistant captain of the Detroit Falcons in his first season in the SMJHL, certainly an upper management mistake there. As can be confirmed by a list of some very serious sources. The following season he was named captain of the same team which again is a mistake and can be confirmed by the list above.

Here might be expected to see a list of his performances during the past seasons but since this page is about Granström there is nothing relevant to show. Oh, I guess that fight in the SMJHL he got into is the only thing. Truly shows what a goon he really is. Ah and finally, his SHL team, the Wolfpack did the same mistake as management in Detroit and named him assistant captain for his rookie season.

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Tomasnz · 06-27-2021, 05:16 PM

Peter Larson is a sham. Who blantely stole two goalie of the year awards and don't even get us started on this most dubious of MVPs.

He started his career on a lion's prospect team win that was stacked in the most bias of ways. Beating out worthy contenders like Tib Soonika and Dacko.

He was then drafted dirtily by his friends. To a defencively stacked anchorage amarda team, and was able to hide behind the blue wall to some amazing goalie stats. The awards committee saw through it though, rightfully denying goalie of the year but somehow still awarded him rookie of the year. His junior career closed out poorly in anchorage never hitting those first year heights despite a stacked team.

He continued his luck into the seniors, with Manhattan even trading up to get him in the s46 entry draft.

He never rightfully lead his class in tpe and only barely finished as the pp ewk tpe goalie ahead of Tib Soonika, but it should be noted of course the best s46 goalie was in fact Harry carpet. A s47 goalie

Peter Larson. Over rated and not making the hof.

Henrik · 06-27-2021, 05:25 PM

Henrik Lekberg Osterman is a Swedish born professional ice hockey forward who currently plays for the San Francisco Pride in the SHL. He was selected third overall in the S50 draft by San Francisco. Since being drafted, he has arguably one of the biggest busts of the first round and that pick is widely seen as the reason for the previous management being fired. Vastly overrated, he is unable to score on his own and relies solely on the skill and talents of his line mates to get anything done.

He was equally useless in the SMJHL, where he played four seasons for the Colorado Raptors, where he also relied totally on line mates. Also worth noting is team Sweden's total lack of success in the IIHF with Lekberg Osterman on the team.

It is clear that where ever Lekberg Osterman goes he leaves behind him a legacy of failure and while we did win a Darr trophy in S59, it is agreed upon by most savvy SHL fans that the hardware was payed for by San Francisco in order to draw more Free Agent interest in the following season.

Mooney · 06-27-2021, 05:26 PM

ISFL Affiliate PT Username: PMoney

StamkosFan · 06-27-2021, 06:03 PM

Ola Wagstrom is a Swedish right winger who has bounced around more than Marian Hossa. Between his lack of effort on the ice, his attitude problems, his rapid regression, his poor training regimen, and his constant underachieving on the stats page, it’s no wonder teams are all too eager to dump him after a few seasons. What is a miracle is that there were any takers for him when he was on the trade block. I’ve seen goons bury more shots than Wagstrom, so clearly the guy should just retire. Hockey’s not the game for him; with how weak and all-around mediocre he is, maybe he should’ve gone for eSports or something. He’d be a lot better at sitting on his ass, and Toronto is going to realize quickly that sitting on his ass is right where he should be. If he wasn’t so overpaid he would spend the whole game stapled to the bench with the other fourth liners. Pedigree has carried him his whole career, and the idiots saying he is hall of fame bound are blind, or just listen to the clueless commentators who blab about him being a great goal scorer and a legend. Ignore the pundits, he’s a pathetic old man really. Doesn’t belong in the SHL, never has.

***Acsolap*** · 06-27-2021, 06:15 PM

Rex Kirkby is a fight handed defenseman and one of the oldest players currently in the simulation hockey League. Despite his longevity he has rarely if ever shown himself to be a true top level offensive force in the shl. He only has one paltry Stevens nomination to his name and his record in challenge cup finals is dismal winning only once in six appearances. There are people that say he is destined for the hall of fame buy I say he is destined for nothing but sadness. A journeyman true to the name Kirkby has laced up his skates for no less than six shl teams and even managed to represent two smjhl teams in just two seasons. We can only speculate that he stinks out the locker rooms that he joins so much they they ship him off at the nearest possible convenience. Perhaps the only saving grace for Kirkby is that he isn't the worst player in the league, that title is reserved for Jon Forty-One by a country mile.

Credit to Ml002, King, Wasty, Carpy, Bruins10, Rum_Ham, Turd Ferguson, Ragnar and Enigmatic for the sigs.
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grimreaper · 06-27-2021, 06:39 PM

Robert Black is a Scottish hockey player who currently plays for the Newfoundland Berserkers in the SMJHL. Despite Scotland having a population of more than 5 million, Black is somehow one of the best talents, and the term is used loosely, to emerge from the country recently. Black was drafted 19th overall in the S59 SHL Entry Draft by the Manhattan Rage, a decision which has left many fans and scouts questioning the competence of the Rage front office. Black is currently playing for the Newfoundland Berserkers in the minor leagues, however most games Black appears to simply be out for a leisurely skate whilst carrying a stick as he rarely puts it to any use. Some fans believe that Black is incapable of telling his left from his right and have used this to justify his poor skating ability as it would appear he has his skates on the wrong feet when he's out on the ice.

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158 words

Jorec · 06-27-2021, 06:45 PM

frazzle14 · 06-27-2021, 06:52 PM

Bjorn Thornsen is a lazy Norwegian who currently plays as a defensemen for the Atlanta Inferno in the SHL. In his early years Bjorn tried many different sports, he sucked at every sport he tried until he came to ice hockey. It took him over a decade until he finally learnt to skate on the ice properly. Once he finally learnt to skate he somehow managed to keep his fat ass off upright enough to be able to make a team.

After a few years of lucky performances and scouts just not doing their job properly he was picked up by the Anchorage Armada in the SMJHL draft. They obviously found out how bad he actually was as they traded him to the Detroit Falcons for a penny and a lollipop. He somehow managed to stick with Detroit for the next few years before he got called up to his major league team, the Atlanta Inferno. I’d be surprised if he lasts very long with them before they find out just how bad he actually is.

TomHanks · 06-27-2021, 07:21 PM

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FlappyGiraffe · 06-27-2021, 07:23 PM

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