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**Lime** · 08-03-2021, 01:54 PM

The Newfoundland locker room is one of the largest and most active in the sim league community. There are many important people that have contributed to its continued success, starting with the management team of JNH and SDCore, who then passed the torch to Nhamlet and Juke. But GMs can only create the foundation for culture to thrive, its up to the players to take the initiative and build something on it. Its important to acknowledge the time and effort put in by everyone to make the locker room and league so enjoyable that we develop unhealthy relationships with them.

To properly determine which users have the biggest impact on the locker room we have used a variety of metrics and distilled them into a single score to definitively rank them.

There is a very complex methodology utilizing brand new algorithms coded by dedicated zerks in order to make this the most objective and accurate analysis we could possibly have.

After compiling all of this data I realized that this is too hard and complicated so I had the zerks fill out a form ranking their top ten (or top fifteen) influencers and added up the scores. Thirteen ballots were submitted and out of that I've compiled the top 20 influencers in the locker room. Do keep in mind that this list is purely a measure of how much an individual has influenced other zerkers and NOT a ranking of who is the best or favorite zerker. Also included are each user's relevant locker room emojis.

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It comes as no surprise to anyone that the number one influencer is none other than Tylar. Only three ballots failed to feature Ty ranked first. Tylar’s unique personality and numerous catch phrases have been the driving force of Newfoundland locker room culture for over a year. The very language we use to interact with each other has been shaped primarily by this one man. Whether it’s inquiring about entertainment, lamenting the difficulty of a particular game, or simply expressing our unfavorable emotions on a minute to minute basis, there is no doubt that Newfoundland would look and feel drastically different had he never joined the team. Many users have expressed that Ty’s influence has seeped into their lives even outside of the league. Today, Ty’s iconic profile picture is featured in many of our most frequently used emojis. We all watch his career with great interest to find out what the latest trend may be.

“Ty spreads beyond discord channels, servers and sim leagues. He has infected the irl lives of people all over the world. Global reach.” - Nhamlet on Tylar’s similarity to COVID-19

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The Co-GM, the Littleton winner, and the top locker room poster according to MEE6. Juke has made his way up to the second spot in the index through sheer effort. I honestly expected Beeg Yoshi to end up second through name recognition, but Juke managed to be the only zerker to make top five in every ballot. This consistency should have been expected as it is characteristic of the man himself. Juke has had a hand in everything to do with the zerkers since he took his first steps into the league. Always willing to play a game, or help out with media, or put his time into making the league a better place. Juke is best known for his creation of the Emoji Stonk Market, a zerks favorite.

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Of course the beeg himself was guaranteed an appearance in the top three. Yoshi is as much an icon of newfoundland as tylar. I’d go so far as to say he is the heart of the team. His radiant, wholesome personality is a massive part of what makes newfoundland the inviting place that it is. Listening to beeg yoshi’s lounge brings you back to the coziest vibes that sim leagues have to offer, and it’s all thanks to a very special zerker. What would every day be without waking up to a “good morning zerkers” message? How would we teambuild without ‘extending neck’? These are questions I thankfully have no need to ask.

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Ham is our current fearless (citation needed) leader (citation needed). If anyone in NL is the straight man, I’d have to say it's him. Or at least that is what his PR team has built him up as. Its hard to find someone with the skills necessary to wrangle and tame the zerks into a cup caliber team but Ham is that guy. Trust me, he’s that guy. He’s one of the hardest working and most trusted members of this site if you ignore all of the blatant cheating he has done. Ham is a mentor and a role model for all of the zerks, and inspires us to be the best we can be.

“Ham cheet” - Tylar

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Frankly it’s a tragedy that Corey made the list at all let alone top five but I guess you gotta keep your friends close and your enemies closer. The former commissioner brings balance to the locker room by giving us all someone to hate. They say nothing brings people together like a common enemy. In this way Corey’s role is almost commendable. Almost. Corey is now in charge of the tamper pipeline from Newfoundland to Chicago so I guess you could call that influence. Maybe not all influences need to be good.

“Shut up Corey” - Evil Allbran

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Lime is best known for stealing things and taking credit for them. The wildly popular Holmgang tradition? Stolen from Anchorage hunger games. Emojis that have spread across multiple sim leagues? Literally just minor edits of existing emojis. Media? Invalid. Lime is one of the most egregious offenders today in what some call the Scammer Hockey League.

“Wear skinscreen to protect the sun from your skin’s harmful rays.” - Lime

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The former management of the franchise has been lowkey for a lot of his return to Newfoundland, but remains one of Tylar’s closest friends and influencers forming the supergroup Tycago. In recent times he has been an active presence, catching pokemon and posting the joker pepe with dark knight quotes. The Chicanaissance is upon us.

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A man after my own heart, Pasta is the current meme master of Newfoundland. He’s the fastest I’ve ever seen, always ready with a relevant image with that distinctive pasta turtle watermark. A locker room always needs content creators like him. Pasta is the first currently rostered player on this list, and it’s impressive he’s made it so far so quickly against the long established pillars of the locker room.

“Pasta's meme making skills bring the LR to a new level, truly a fast rising young star, top 5 influencer talent” - Patty

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Beth’s boyfriend. Never trust a guy named after a state he doesn’t live in. Also the guy who really needs to stop posting because he’s gonna fly past me on the MEE6 leaderboard. But he is our Captain after all and a damned good one at that. Dare I say he’s the modern Juke with his ubiquity since he was drafted - all he needs is graphs.

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JNH is the mastermind behind everything, truly the architect of the zerks as they exist today. Many of the major players were drafted or recruited by J himself. While he no longer runs the show, he is behind the scenes pulling strings somehow for sure.

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Patty is infamous for his haxball tactics and getting kicked out of the Syndicate for snitching. It’s not known why Pat has the advisor role or what he’s advising the rookies to do but whatever he’s juicing them up with is working as Newfoundland rolls through the playoffs. Pat's new found (land) knack for wallpapers has many zerkers repping the team at home and abroad.

He swears he won’t recreate but we’d all love to have him back on the team. Most people don’t know that Burd actually uses arch. Burd usually ruins hunger games and is the leading cause of angry mobs forming inside the locker room.

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Long time advisor and poacher of Newfoundland talent. Kluster’s insights have always been appreciated, especially for the young goalies around here. His return to the team and first time as a true zerk is an important moment shaping the zeitgeist of the locker room.

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As a fresh draftee Allbran walked into the locker room like he owned the place and never looked back. I imagine our (as of August 2021 edition of NL Influencer Index) favorite cereal would be higher up too if he was more compatible with the zerks busy time zones. We may all end up in Australia with him one day if he lets us build zerk house on his property.

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After sending Sota in to scout out the league, Beth determined the league was good enough for her to join. She currently enjoys a position as Newfoundland Human Resources Officer, and even had her own channel created for sharing zerk feed and munchies.

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Despite only the rarest of appearances nowadays, Andrei still has his own channel in the locker room and influences culture to this day. The clean man remains a fan favorite and an unforgettable piece of Newfoundland history.

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Sopath is our resident bookworm and brought to the zerks Tuesday story time. He now holds the prestigious position of the Professor of Zerkology. New zerkers huddle around the campfire to hear about both fact and fiction. Sopath has locked himself in as an important zerker in the past, present, and future. Look for him in upper management someday.

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